Espadas Undercover
by Aceidia
Summary: When Ichigo and the Soul Reapers invade Hueco Mundo, Aizen uses the last scrap of his brainpower and sends the Espada undercover to the Human World. It is easier said than done. Between keeping Szayel from starving them or Starrk spending all their money and holding down a job, Grimmjow and Nnoitra have their work cut out for them. Cover Image thanks to ifragmentix of Deviantart.
1. A Need For Beer

**Cover Image Drawn by: ifragmentix of Deviantart** **who was so kind to let my use his amazing drawing. **

Author's Note: This is an Alternate Universe where Ichigo and the Shinigami went to Hueco Mundo and Aizen sent the Espada away to guess where...

"Oye! Get up, old man!" Nnoitra grouched, smashing his left foot into Starrk's stomach. "Get your own beer at four in the frickin' morning!"

Starrk mumble and pulled a twenty pound note out of his right pocket, "Ger get..."

"I get the-" Nnoitra was about to smash his foot into the face of world's laziest Espada when Grimmjow put his hand on shoulder.

"Don't. I'll go with you and get the old man what he wants... I have an errand to run anyhow."

Nnoitra frowned as he stared at Starrk who was lying peacefully on the couch. It was just such a pain to have to take orders from such a lazy Espada. "Too bad he ranks higher than I... What in the world do you need, Grimmjow?"

"We need food." Was the reply, "And since we have to stay here in the world of the living for a while; until we head to the Soul Society like Aizen ordered, Szeyel figured he shouldn't have to starve. Granted, from what I heard from Tia, he wants the rest of us to starve so he can see just how it affects us. According to him, 'humans and hollows are different, no?'"

Nnoitra was about to say something in response, when Szayel walked over to them with a wicked smile on his face. "And I will be coming along to make sure that my experiment is not tampered with... ah, Grimmjow?"

The blue haired Espada sighed and looked way up at the ceiling. "Fine... Fine... You can come shopping too..."

We have to get rid of Szayel as soon as possible...Or we're all toast.

Grimmjow glanced at Nnoitra and saw he was thinking the same thing.

But how was the question.

Szayel was too smart for his own good and would escape most any plan they came up with.

Grimmjow and Nnoitra might have been among the strongest and fastest of the Espada, but they knew they were not one of the brightest.

Which gave them a horrible disadvantage, given the situation...

After the Soul Reapers invaded Hueco Mundo, Aizen thought it would be best to send his elite force of Arrancar to the Human World to protect them.

Which to many of the Espadas, made almost no sense at all. However, orders were orders….

And unfortunately no one knew when or if they would be returning to Hueco Mundo.

(Aizen tended to have one step plans these days, having tired from elaborate scheming... as it took too much brainpower.)

"So...are we going to the store now?" Szayel asked, casually putting his hands in the pockets of the plain blue jeans he was wearing. While they were gone, Gin suggested the Espada wear normal human clothing to blend in as much as possible.

So, thanks to the vast collections of fashion in the world of humans, all ten of them had found their kind of clothing.

Tia found she liked wearing sweatshirt and pants, Grimmjow on the other hand enjoyed wearing cargo pants and a muscle shirt...and that was just the beginning of all the various clothing they found.

And if the Espada had to vote on whom had the worst taste in clothing, the award would have gone to Ulquiorra. He had not quite figured out the street gangster look, having put the baggy pants over his white outfit and baseball hat over what remained of his hollow mask.

Which was one of the harder kind mask to hide.

Thankfully, everyone was quite able to cover the broken hollow masks and holes with scarves or other accessories. Nnoitra wore a causually red bandana eye patch, others wore shirts, pants. Grimmjow and Aaroniero, on the other hand, had quite a difficult time.

"How am I supposed to cover half my face?!" Grimmjow yelled a week ago when the vote to go explore was nine to one.

"Do you expect me to wear a sack over my head?" Aaroniero complained, not liking the pillowcase that Tia gave him to put over his glass head. "It looks so plain!"

"Fine… do you want me to draw something on it?" She offered, pulling out a set of colored markers from her purse.

"Nah.. I'll just stay here." With that, the discussion was over.

"Now, what am I supposed to do?" Grimmjow grouched, catching a glance at his face in the mirror by the door leading into the hallway. "I still have a problem over here."

"No idea." Tia muttered seeing that he was still suffering from the dilemma in the present moment, "Maybe you just had a little trouble with the superglue and a dinosaur mask. No one at four in the morning will care. Just to get Starrk what he wants."

"Yeah... what ever..." He muttered and made he was over to the door of the apartment Aizen rented for them in the human world. "Come on guys, lets go get Starrk his beer he wants to drink while he sleeps."

With this, he, Nnoitra and Szayel walked out into the hall and headed for the stairs leading down from the twelfth floor, for the elevator went out yesterday.

* * *

Author's Note: This story is set in Scotland and so, the money and the measurements are different.

**Cover Image Drawn by: ifragmentix of Deviantart** **who was so kind to let my use his amazing drawing. **

Please go leave him a comment if you enjoy this story. :)


	2. The Real World Does Not Speak Japanese

Szayel skipped down the sidewalk in front of Grimmjow and Nnoitra as if he were a child. How he loved the world of the humans...even though they were weak beings, they came up with many a useful invention.

"I...have to say..." Grimmjow noted, seeing Szayel's manic smile out of the corner of his eye. "I am kind of concerned. I don't think we should have brought him along..."

"I don't care..."

Nnoitra and Grimmjow stopped and turned around to see Tia Harrbel trailing behind them.

"Oye, what are you doing here, woman?" Nnoitra sneered, making Tia frown.

"I am coming to keep all of you in line..." she slapped Nnoitra across the face as she walked past. " Remember, I am far more powerful than you are. And I will be not hesitate to destroy you if you insist on looking down on me."

"So..." The man behind the twenty-hour conveience store stared at the four costomers who were speaking in absolute gibberish. "What is it you want?" He was not sure if they were tourists or aliens. Same thing anyhow.

"I would like a case of beer, please." Grimmjow told him, glaring at Sayzel who was eyeing the candy. If he had any, it would make everyone elses life worse.

"What was that you said?" The man was sure the crazy blue haired guy spoke jibberish.

"I said...I want a case of beer." Grimmjow clarified. "Actually, make that two cases. Everyone will want some."

"What? I still can't understand you." The man behind the desk sighed. "You're talking Gibberish, son."

Oh. Now it made sense. He was speaking Japanese! Grimmjow laughed at himself and glanced at the other three Espadas who were roaminng around the small Gas Station Convenience store.

He hated to do this to them...but he had to use his horrible English voice.

Grimmjow put his right elbow on the counter to lean on it. "Okay. I get it now." The blue haired Espada said in his slick, breathy and horribly dramatic voice. "I want two cases of beer."

"Yea.. You could have just said that. It's over there in the fridge case." The man behind the counter pointed to the right. "Then, come up here and pay."

"That was easier than you made it." Tia noted to Grimmjow as she and the other Espadas made their way back to the apartment building. "I honestly find your stupidity amazing."

"Enough said." Szayel added, glancing at Nntoira and Grimmjow who were walking behind him, carrying the two cases of beer. "And I was-"

"Halt!" A meek voice demanded. "I am Jinsu of... of... halt!"

Szayel and the others turned around to see a small Soul Reaper with brown hair pointing his 'Oh-so-scary' reaping sword at them. Jinsu's hands shaking and he was trying to keep a stern look on his face. "I know you guys aren't human! 'cause you heard me!"

"Duh..." Grimmjow rolled his eyes. Really? Were they really going to be harassed by a low life Soul Reaper at this time of night? "Go home, kid."

"No.. No I won't." Jinsu took a brave step forward. These people were not going to get away from him. "Now... just... come with me and-"

"You don't want to mess with us..." Szayel sang, a sadistic smile creeping onto his face.

"And I don't think you should be picking a fight." Grimmjow noted, tapping the eighth Espada's shoulder. "You really should not attack someone who won't even stand a chance."

"But..." Szayel's smile turned into a scowl. "That is all the fun. To hear your prey scream in agony, begging for mercy... it's like music... addicting music."

"We know." Grimmjow stepped left and lifted his case of beer into the air."But attacking this...Reaper is down right dishonorable."

"Like I care..." Szayel began to reach for his sword and Grimmjow brought the case of beer down on his head.

Tia watched and Nnoitra snickered, watching a silly smile cross Szayel's face before he sunk to his knees, out cold.

"That 'aughta teach him a lesson." Grimmjow announced, giving a small smile to Jinsu who was still no sure what happened or what was going to happen. "For a while." The Sixth Espada added, glancing down at the body at his feet. He was beginning to realizing that no matter how much he tried to persuade people, they were always going to be...stupid.

He turned to the clueless Soul Reaper, "I'm sorry kid. He's kinda..."

"I know..." Jinsu laughed nervously. "Yea.. I get the idea... um... thanks... I guess."

"You're welcome." Gimmjow gestured at Nnoitra to pick Szayel off the ground but the Fifth Espada made no move to do as he was asked. "Any how... We'll be on our way and...just don't get in to any more trouble. Okay?"

"Yea... I mean, yes sir." Jinsu nodded and with a step, disappeared into the night,

"Great..." Tia noted, rolling her eyes. "Gimmjow made a friend... now lets' the the hell home okay?"

"Yeah..." Gimmjow fixed his hair and turned to Nnoitra. "I out rank you. Pick up Szayel."

Nnoitra opened his mouth to say something, but decided not as Tia gave him a cold stare. "Fine, fine... but you'd better make sure I don't starve."

So, after cleaning the street of a knocked out scientist, the three headed home where they found all of the other Espadas asleep in the living room, watching television.

"But..." Gimmjow ginned and reached for the light-switch. "Not for long."


	3. The Problem With Light Switches

"Ah!" Starrk screamed as all the lights in the living room flicked on."Turn out the damn lights!"

"Arrhg! My eyes are burning!" Aaroniero yelled, having a glass tank for a head was not helping the glare.

"Yesh!" Yammy growled, covering his eyes. "Turn out the lights!"

Grimmjow laughed, watching all of the other Arrancar complain. It was the small thrills in life that brought him joy.

"Really."

He glanced up to see Ulquiorra's sword pointed at his neck. "Turn off the damn lights."

"Fine, Fine..." Grimmjow reached over and flicked the lights back off.

"Arrg! I can't see!" Starrk yelled.

"I think I found the wall!" Yammy cried.

"No!" Nnoitra screamed, "That's my face!"

"No, wait... not the wall. I think I found the missing couch cushions!"

"Those are not cushions." Ulquiorra noted with a frown. "Turn the lights back on, Grimmjow."

"Yep..." Grimmjow flicked the switch and all the lights in the apartment exploded as the fuse gave out. "And now...our apartment is on fire...and none of us have water powers."


	4. Would Someone Honestly Save Szayel?

Szayel mumbled as he slowly came to. What was going on? It was so dark and cold outside...

_Wait a minute...what am I doing outside?_

_"Ah look, Mr. Nice Guy is waking up."_

_"Hardly the correct name, Nnoitra. But nice try."_

_"Shut up, Mr. Gloomy."_

_"So...we are now the seven dwarves are we?"_

_"Not at all Tia. Nnoitra just has troubles with names and faces. I mean, look at his. Its-Ow! Don't hit your superior!"_

_"Well, its your fault we are out in the cold and snow, Grimmjow!"_

_"I'm not Grimmjow. I am Ulquiorra. My point has been made. What is worse about all of this is that I have to go to work tomorrow."_

_"At McDonalds. Serving...Happy Meals, Mr. Gloomy."_

_"Now that's a sight I have got to see."_

_"Oh, shut up Grimmjow."_

"What is going on and who hit me over the head?" Szayel opened his eyes to see all nine Espadas sitting on the curbside next to where he was laying.

Gimmjow glanced at Tia and began his tale. "Well, Szayel...you were attacked by a..." A what? This story demanded it be a good one... "Ruffian and you kind of owe us your life as we saved you after you fell in the path of a..."

"Bus." Tia finished blankly. If they played their cards right, Nnoitra, her and Grimmjow could stiff Szayel up for a life debt. For life. "And sadly, Nnoitra had to disobey Aizen's orders to stay undercover. He shredded the bus as it came speeding towards Gimmjow and I who were trying desperately to bring you back to life."

Gimmjow tried his best not to make a face at the idea of giving Szayel CPR. "Yeah...that's what happened."

"The Ruffian cracked your skull in half..." Nnoitra added, trying to act like he cared but not wanting to show it. (When in truth he did not want to start laughing his head off. This was the most ridiculous and brilliant story ever created! Them, saving Szayel from a bus? Honestly, the majority would vote to have him run over.)

"Right." Szayel was not sure what was going on here, but he was sure that stupid Soul Reaper was responsible for the damage. "Now help me up, i'm injured."

Grimmjow sighed...

Or their plan could backfire on them and the three of them would be Szayel's nurses for the rest of time.

"I think..." Tia said to the whole group whom Aizen put her in charge of. (She being the most level headed of all the Espadas), "We should split up and try and find a hotel for the night. We will divide into groups and then meet back here in a hour with different price estimates. Now, Ulquorria, Starkk and...you there with the short blond hair go together. Yammy, Aaroniero, Zommari and the King of Death. Grimmjow, Nnoitra...Szayel and I will be the third group. Meet back here in one hour."

* * *

"Wow..." Grimmjow noted, standing on the empty curbside two minutes later. "That really cleared everyone out." He paused and tied the scarf he stole from Zammori around his head. Making it look as if he had a toothache. "There. That should hide the hollow mask. No?

"Yes. It does. And thankfully, now I don't have to worry about having to room with Starkk's annoying other side...what ever her name is." Tia allowed herself a small smile. "Once they all find a place to stay the night, they won't want to return. It's now almost dawn anyhow. Let us go."

Tia turned and made her way down the sidewalk with Grimmjow on her heels; followed by Nnoitra who was forced to help Szayel along.

Twenty minutes later, Tia walked through the automatic doors of a small motel. Leaving her company outside in the freezing downpour that began as a small drizzle five minutes ago.

"Hello, Miss. How may I help you?" The woman behind the Front Desk asked.

Tia pasted a fake smile on her face and walked over. "How much for a room?"

"For how long?"

"A night." Tia replied, watching the lady type numbers into the computer. "And if you can make it a double."

"Sure thing. And that will come to...68 Pounds. Would you like to reserve the room?"

"Yes. Thank you."

"_What the hell took you so long?!_" A soaking wet Grimmjow demanded as he saw Tia walk triumphantly across the parking lot, back to the three of them. "This hotel is so cheap, it doesn't even have a over hanging to keep the rain away!"

"And what's worse-" Nnoitra coughed, "I think we all are coming down with something. Except Szayel who seems to think he can't get sick."

"It's true!" Szayel argued, pausing to cough as well. "I made a...that." He gave into a coughing fit and the other two followed as if someone yawned.

"You guys are pathetic." Tia sighed, listening to the chours and held up the key. "I got us a room on the second floor."

"Great." Grimmjow added a few minutes of coughing later. "Take us to it then, will you?!"

Tia walked back inside the hotel lobby with her dripping wet and freezing companions and soon she opened the door of room 306.

Sadly the Hotel elevator was out of order as well.


	5. 23, 55, 83, Sixty!

"So…since we decided that Tia gets her own bed and we have to somehow share. Which-"

"I vote Szayel gets the floor." Nnoitra interrupted Grimmjow's train of thought.

"I was getting to that." The Sixth Espada groaned, giving Nnoitra a glare."And which I-"

"I'm injured. You get the floor you one eyed-freak!" Szayel shot back from where he was sitting in the chair by the window. "And-"

"Shut up everyone!" Grimmjow yelled, still amazed at Tia's sleeping skills. At the moment she was fast asleep on her bed as if she was on Mars. She crashed shortly after drying her hair off in the bathroom."Now! We are all cold and tired and I say that we each take showers to warm up. And we will do it by how things are always done in Hueco Mundo. By number. So. Since I am number Six I will go first. Then, Nnoitra and then Szayel."

"Sounds good." Grimmjow's intelligence never stopped amazing Nnoitra whom had to admit he may have a few to many hits on the head in this life.

Grimmjow turned to walk towards the small bathroom in the hotel room when Szayel spoke up. "Wait. You are going in highest to lowest order, Grimmjow. I am the Eighth Espada. I would go first. However, if you are going down in numbers…I'd still be first."

"Yeah." Grimmjow pasted a look of fake surprise on his face. "I was wro…Wait a minute… If we went down in numbers…" He didn't want to say it out loud for fear of Nnoitra realizing he'd be first. "But… why don't I let you go first, Szayel?"

"Sounds like a splendid plan." It was a miracle that Nnoitra never caught on this whole time. Szayel climb out of the chair and snatched the towel out of Grimmjow's arms on his way to the shower. "See you all later and if any of you disturb me, I will kill you."

"Yah…right." Nnoitra muttered, sitting down on the bed to maybe fall asleep just so that no one else had any room and were forced to sleep elsewhere. He reached in the pocket of his pants to clean them out for the night. Counting his inventory was a near ritual; he naturally did. Just to make sure he always had the same trinkets in his pockets and nothing else snuck in.  
Nnoitra was about to lay down a few minutes later when he realized he still had something in his right pocket. He reached in and pulled out a deck of old playing cards. "Oh… I forgot these were here… Oye, Grimmjow. Want to play cards?"

"Sure." Gimmjow sat down on the floor by the bed and Nnoitra joined him. "I have nothing better to do. Want to play hearts?"

"Yea… But how do you play that with two people?"

"I don't know. We could deal Szayel in and you could play his hand until he gets out of the shower."

"Cool." Nnoitra took the deck out of the small box and began to shuffle them. Soon he had three different piles of cards dealt face down on the floor, minus the two of diamonds. "Take one and a moment to sort them how ever you like."  
Grimmjow took the stack closest to him as he knew that it did not matter what hand he had anyhow. He turned over the cards and took a look at what he had.

_Damn it! Four Aces and a bunch of crappy high cards!_

"So…" Grimmjow wondered, not seeing Nnoitra not place any cards down to pass to the left.  
But what should I pass? I think I should try and hold on to the Queen of Spades and-

"I have to two of clubs," Nnoitra announced interrupting Grimmjow's thoughts. "Here."

_And so now I don't have to pass any of my cards because Mr. Spoon-head forgot. Cool._

"I have the three." Grimmjow pulled it out of his hand and placed it in the middle with the two of clubs.

"And amazingly enough, Szayel does not have the four. So he'll play the King of Diamonds and so he can't shoot the moon later."

"Good thinking." Grimmjow smiled after Nnoitra cleared the playing field.

A few minutes later, Nnoitra played the eight of diamonds out of Szayel's hand and Grimmjow followed the the six and after a five was played, he had to comment. "Nnoitra, you don't get the trick. Eight is more than five."

"Right. I…."

Grimmjow watched a shocked look creep onto Nnoitra face.

"Wait a minute!" The Fifth Espada screamed, sending his cards into the air as he stood up.

"I wouldn't do-…that…" Grimmjow put his face in his hands as Nnoitra began to bang furiously on the bathroom door, demanding his turn.

"Let me in, you lying-"

"No!" Szayel yelled back, "Its my turn!"

"No it's not! You cheated me out of mine!" Nnoitra screamed, waking up the people in the rooms around them. "You get out here and-"

"Do you really want me to come out there, complet-"

"No!" Nnoitra yelled back in a hurry, "But get your-"

"Then, let me get this shampoo out of my hair!" Szayel replied while he tried the read the label for the conditioner through fogged up glasses. "And then, you can have a turn… what in the world does this say?"

"I want my turn now, sissy boy!" Nnoitra demanded, not caring if the other Espada had to live with some suds. "I'm giving you one minute to get out before I come in and drag you out!"

"You wouldn't dare!"

"Like hell I would!"

"Fine!" Szayel yelled, rinsing the conditioner out of his hair now, "If that is how you want to play!" He turned the water off and grabbed two towels off the rod. He quickly wrapped up and after a moment's thought, pointed his finger at the closed door where Nnoitra was desperately trying to count to sixty. However, was already failing miserably at 46.

"48, 84, 26!"

Szayel let out a long sigh and looked way up at the ceiling.… the next number was bound to be-

"Sixty!" Nnoitra reached for the door handle and he was thrown backwards as the whole door exploded outwards.

* * *

Author's Note: A real Game of Hearts was dealt for this chapters. Nnoitra really did have these cards. Hehe.


	6. Notra, Grimmmow, Sessel the Chair

"And so…" Szayel calmly walked out of the bathroom with a towel around his waist and on his head. "It seems to be your turn, Nnoitra."

"Why you-"

There was a knock on the door.

Nnoitra, Szayel and Grimmjow shared a look.

With a blast like that, every Soul Reaper in the country would be at their door.

"You deal with it." Nnoitra ordered Szayel who was busy drying his hair with a towel. "I out rank you. Hah! I finally figured it out!"  
Szayel gave Grimmjow a look. Did he really have to answer the door?

"Yea." Grimmjow added, "And that's an order."

A frown pasted itself onto the Eighth Espada's face. "Fine. I'll get it. Move out of the way, Spoon-head." Nnoitra was out of Szayel's way in a flash and the door was open less than ten seconds later.

"Hello?" Szayel asked the woman standing outside in the nicest voice he could fake. "What might bring you here?"

"Hello. I am the Manager of what's left of this hotel." The woman crossed her arms as she continued. "And I am afraid I am going to have to ask you to leave."

"Really?" Szayel was not sure what to say…He'd never been kicked out of anywhere… except his brother's study… but it was his now as his brother was dead. "Don't you think you have another room I could borrow?'

"No."

"Well…Can we leave tomorrow?" Szayel tried his best. Interaction with humans was not his specialty. If anyone, it was Tia's job.

"No. I and the other residents of this hotel would like you all to leave, after you have paid for the damage."

"Why should we?" Szayel was not sure why they would have to do such a thing. "Don't your servants just fix it up?"

The Manager was about to say something when Tia came up behind Szayel and shoved him backwards into the room. Sending him crashing into Grimmjow who also on his way to the door.

"I am sorry about him." Tia apologized with a sweet tone unlike her usually cold and calculating voice. "He was spoiled as a child."

"Hey!" Szayel cried.

"Shut up and let me talk to the nice, Lady." Tia scolded and turned back to the manager. "Of course we will be on our way."

"Well, what I meant to say was," The manager gestured down the hallway where a group of Police Officers waiting.

"You're all under arrest." One of the Police Officers announced.

* * *

"Great…I have to share a cell with Spoon-head and Catman." Szayel complained loudly.

"Well, why don't you transform o' winged one and get us out of here?" Grimmjow suggested, fed up with this whole undercover thing. Giving his name to the Police for his record was hard enough.

"Gremlen?" The desk clerk asked, not sure what to make of the odd group brought in on charges of destruction of property.

"No." Grimmjow sighed and repeated himself for the literal tenth time. "Grimmjow. Like…The Grimm Brothers and then… like the sound a cat makes when it yawns and meows at the same time."

"…Ah.. Okay… lets' move on. And what is your name?" The clerk asked the tall black haired man with an eyepatch.

"I'm Nnoitra."

"What? Noika?" What in the world was with these names?!

"No, stupi-" Grimmjow swiftly put his hand over his superior's mouth before he said anything all of them would regret.

"And so…. We are now dubbed Notra, Grimmmow and Sessel for the rest of our prison life." Nnoitra lamented, still mad at Szayel for blasting him and the door. Which was why they were here in the first place. "And it is all Frenchie's fault."

"Is not!" Szayel shot back, "It is yours for interrupting my shower. Now, not only do I have a cold, I have to put up with all of you while Tia over there gets her own prison cell. Hey, how are you liking it over there."

"It's fine, Sessel." Tia replied dully. Not really caring she was in jail. Hey, she had her own cell, what more could she ask for?

"It's not Sessel! I am NOT a chair!"

"Wow… didn't know you knew German." Grimmjow noted, a little surprised.

"Yeah." Nnoitra added, "I don't even do well with my Spanish."

"Well… I learned it from some stupid Quincies ages ago." Szayel yawned a little and finally sat down with the rest of them. "I mean, they all honestly spoke Gibberish German, but since it sounded cool, I went out in search of Hollows from Germany."

"There are Hollows from Germany?" Nnoitra never heard of that.

"Of course, you idiot. Hollows don't just come from Japan, you know. I came from England myself. Which to me, seems rather strange. Don't remember anything else, as my original soul disappeared a long time ago…"

"Neat." Grimmjow laid down on the top bunk and closed his eyes. "I was from Japan…so the language of the Soul Reapers came easily to me… how about you, Nnoitra."

"No idea. I just know it was a pain to learn Spanish, which is all they speak in Hueco Mundo."

"Heh…" Sazyel snickered, "I remember you couldn't pronounce Santa Teresa for the longest time."

"That's not true!"

"Yes it is!"

Grimmjow closed his eyes and tried his best to get some sleep while the 'Old Married Couple' battled it out next to his bunk. If only they would shut up already.

* * *

Author's Note: The word for Chair in German is in fact: Der Sessel.

10/5/12 - I re-edited this chapter and realized I forgot to point a few interesting things out. The line: "Hello. I am the Manager of what's left of this hotel." That and a few other lines in that exchange are from What's Up Doc with Ryan O'Neil and Barbra Streisand. And Nnoitra make a reference to Grease when he calls Szayel, 'Frenchie' as the character Frenchie has bright pink hair at one point in the movie. (Which make me wonder what in the world Nnoitra watches...That and Funny Girl.)


	7. The End of A Good Cat Nap

_Hey, Grimmjow… are you up?_

_I don't think he is…_

_But his eyes are open._

_Guys, he sleeps with his eyes open… _

_Whatever, Tia. Like we care. Wake up, Grimmjow! We need to talk._

Grimmjow rolled over and blinked a few times. Only to find Szayel and Nnoitra staring directly at him.

"What?" He asked them. "What do you two want?"

"Well, it't about six at night now… You sleep all day long." Szayel began, with a small smile on his face. "I was thinking that maybe we should try and get out of here."

"Here? Jail? Come on guys, it's rather nice don't you think?"

"No. It hardly nice." Szayel grouched, crossing his arms, "I want to get back to my Palace and my current project. Simple Hollows don't live forever you know."

"You're sick.. Anyway…what does Tia say about all this?" Grimmjow was not getting in on any escape plan until he had direct orders from the Third Espada.

"She said go ahead."

"No… I said, lets all talk it over first." She corrected Nnoitra who did a very good job at playing hard of hearing. "Once we are all up, we will discuss it. And since Grimmjow is wake, we can begin our discussion. Now what does he whom just woke up have to say."

"I have to say that this might not be a good idea. As long as we are in here, we don't have to worry about being attacked by a soul reaper… and Mr. Sick-o over here attacking them."

"I do not appreciate the naming, thank you very much." Szayel scowled, "As you don't see the point in attacking Soul Reapers your self. They are far beneath us all. If they didn't exist, the world would be a much better place, no? Do you remember when you were a plain hollow and they would attack you for no reason at all?"

"Of course I do, but their job is not all that horrible. I just did not wish to be forced out of the body I was given."

"Neither did I." Szayel said, "and that is why we must kill them."

"But… On another note," Tia wearily hopped into the conversation. "If they keep cleansing Hollows, there will be none to rival for the title of Espada."

"True…I think you are on to somet-"

All four Espadas let out along sigh as the far wall of the police station was blown to bits.

"Soul Reapers…." Grimmjow muttered, just wanting to get back to sleep, having been up almost three days straight. "Why won't they leave us alone?!"

"Like I care." Nnoitra muttered, still a little sour over the fact the police took his precious sword. His Santa Teresa.

"If any of you lay a hand on them," Tia cut in seeing Nnoitra and Szayel share a glance. "I will make sure you are both demoted."

"Ew…" Nnoitra made a face. If he were demoted, he would have to answer to Grimmow.

"I am so not taking orders from a talking glass tube." Szayel muttered, stealing the bottom bunk before Nnoitra had the chance.

"Why don't we just sit here?" Tia suggested, watching the door from the other side of the room, leading from the main offices, burst open.

"The police will take care of this…Not like they can see them… But…whatever."  
Grimmjow glanced at the three Soul Reapers whom drew their swords to slice through the bars of the jail cells. He glanced at the police who now had their guns drawn and ready to fire. "Wow… Free bodyguards.. I like it."

"And…" Nnoitra yawned, watching what happened next. "Guns beat Soul Reapers."

"Not quite…" Tia observed, watching one of the Soul Reapers climb off the floor, full of bullet holes. "She's gonna level this place if she-"  
The Soul Reaper released her sword and the whole police station fell inward.


	8. The Battle Of The Old Married Couple

"Why does our residence always get destroyed?" Grimmjow complained as he climbed out of the rubble, unscathed; into the setting sunlight where three Soul Reapers stood in the sky, observing them from afar. "Can I never get any sleep at all?"

"And does that bother you?" Szayel asked, stepping on Nnoitra's head as he climbed out as well. He not sure what in the world Grimmjow was so upset about. He personally would go without sleep if he could, however, like the rest of the worlds; Heuco Mundo had day and night.  
Kind of.

"Yea… a cat needs a good nap everyday." Grimmjow informed the other Arrancars, brushing the dust from his eyes. "And, Miss. Tia, I don't think we can avoid this fight."

She looked up at the overly-determined Soul reapers and sighed. "Fine… I am going to stand here and you three decide who is going to attack. As your current costumes do not allow you to preform Sindo. "

Now Aizen was no blockhead. (Most of the time.) And so he created Whole Costumes that were very similar to the Soul Reapers' Gigas.

(But as they were created in haste for this mission, the costumes were only patched together proto-types.)

The Whole Costumes thankfully did their job and allowed the Espada to be seen and interact with the human world while retaining most of their powers. Of course Resurrections that revealed an Espada's true form and the Grand Rey Cero which was a high level energy blast could not be preformed. Smaller powers such as Balta that Szayel used to blast down the bathroom door, with a flick of a finger, could.

Sindo, the move similar to a Soul Reapers Shinpo, however was a thing only a soul could do. And since the Arrancar were in 'Whole Costumes,' the move would not work. Nor would their Hollow remains be covered, making away to odd dressing styles instead.

"So…" Grimmjow sat down on a pile of bricks, "You two can take care of them as you seemed so eager too. While I take a nap."

"Well then…" Nnoitra turned around and began to dig through the pile of bricks and metal for his trusty sword. "I'll need this…"

"If you three don't mind waiting a moment." Grimmjow said to the Soul Reapers who were all but pleased to do so. "Have you found it yet?"

"Nope…" Nnoitra replied, throwing some glass shards over his shoulder. Where in the world was it? He could not possibly live without his trusted sword!

"Geez." Szayel scoffed at the Fifth Espada's desperate search to find his sword. "Why didn't you just do what I did?"  
Nnoitra stopped digging and glanced over his shoulder at the pink haired Espada, "What did you do, Mr. Smart-ass?"

"Thank you." Szayel smiled a little before he reached down and pulled the sheathe of his sword out of the side of his pant leg.

"Funny as hell!" Nnoitra faked a laugh. What a stupid trick! "Where is the sword?"  
Szayel did not bother to respond.

Instead, he tilted his head back and shoved his outstretched fingers into his mouth. A moment later, a full length sword slid out of Szayel's throat and into existence.

"Wow…" Grimmjow was not sure what just happened.

"Doesn't that hurt?" Nnoitra stared in awe. What kind of crazy trick was that?

"Not in the least. Find your sword, Spoon-head, so we can get this over with."

"Fine!"

Grimmjow coughed as Nnoitra's desperate search for Santa Teresa caused a large cloud of dust and debris. "Hey, hey! Slow down there!"

"Not until I find her!" Nnoitra replied, not caring if Grimmjow coughed up a lung. "She has to be here some-Yes!" He pulled out Santa Teresa triumphantly out from under a piece of wood. "Now we can kick some ass!"

"Hardly kick." Szayel muttered, "poke more like. These is hardly going to be a fight. It's more like flattening a bug. Simple and very satisfying."

"Shall I introduce myself, worthy foe?" The Soul Reaper standing in the middle of the group, inquired. He had chin length sliver hair and a kind smile on his face.

"I suppose." Nnoitra laughed. This was going to be easy. "But in the end it doesn't matter."  
"I am Shuen, an officer of the first company."

"And I," The woman to his left drew her sword, "Am sergeant of the eighth Company. Rinku Inka."

"Prepare to meet your doom!" the third and most buff of the three Soul Reapers declared. Ripping his shirt off as he spoke, "I am Higen Ewari of the seven company Patrol Group!"

Szayel groaned loudly and glanced over his shoulder at Nnoitra who was trying his best not to fall asleep. "Hey, Nnoitra. Give me your scarf."

"Why?" The fifth Espada wondered what in the world he wanted with something so simple.

"I want to use as a blindfold."

"Why?" He took it off and handed it to Szayel who proceeded to fold and tie it over his eyes. "Because, this is going to be too easy."

"Yeah…You're right." Nnoitra sighed and leaned on the simple sword that was currently Santa Theresa. He glanced up at the three Soul Reapers who were ready to make a move, "Don't you three want to just give up and go home?"

"I don't think they do." Szayel noted, hearing nothing in response besides laughter. "But I don't mind crushing butterflies under my feet."

"Oh…" Grimmjow muttered, "How cruel."

"Are you ready to face your doom, Nameless foes?!" Higen Ewari lifted his sword in salute.

"Not quite." Nnoitra said, "I think we should introduce ourselves."

"Demotion…." Tia sang from where she sat a few feet away; warning the two lower ranking Espada.

"I know." Nnoitra shot back. "What do you think I am?! Stupid?"

"A little…" Szayel agreed, a smirk creeping onto his face.

"You shut up, Moth-man!"

"How dare you! I am not a moth!" Szayel screamed back, making Grimmjow wince.

Being a large cat gave him such sensitive ears…

Grimmjow glanced over his shoulder at Tia who was staring aimlessly at the sky. " And before long, The old married couple are at it again…."

"I know…" Tia said, "Just let them at it, will you?"

"Sure…Can I borrow your jacket?"

"Here." Tia took off her sweatshirt to reveal a simple t-shirt underneath, "For a pillow, I assume?"

"Yep." Grimmjow began to roll the sweatshirt up and placed it behind his head. "Let me know what happens…"

"I don't worry, I will." Tia watched him curl up with a content smile on his face before turning her attention back to the fight.

* * *

Author's Note: I really love this chapter. Szayel's reverse sword eating act is my all time favorite! :)


	9. Continues

"You have a pin-sized brain, Szayel!" Nnoitra spat back, still upset about being called a simple cockroach, when in fact, he was a Preying Mantis. "As do all little butterflies!"

"How dare you!" Sazyel ripped off the blindfold and lashed out with his foot, smashing it into Nnoitra's shin a second later."You have no tact!"

"And that hardly hurt, sissy-"

A sword collided with his face, not leaving a single mark. "Can't you see I am in the middle of an argument?! What kind of fighter are you, Soul Reaper?"

"Hardly one at that." Szayel noted, swatting away one of the three Soul Reapers that insisted on attacking mid-argument. "On another note, why don't I just chop you up and put you in a jar?! I hear cockroaches live forever."

"Like you could ever do that!" Nnoitra reached a hand out to shove Szayel backwards, but instead found himself soaring into the air. And into the cement a moment later, Szayel staring down at him.

"One trained in martial Arts should know better than to do that." He scolded, "Get up and fight, you noisy creature."

"Would you help me up then?" Nnoitra asked nicely, holding out his hand.

Szayel frowned and crossed his arms, "I am not falling for that trick."

"No. For real. You flattened me pretty well."

"…Still not falling for it."

"Hey!" Grimmjow cried as he woke up from his cat nap, thanks to Rinku sending a explosive kido spell his way. "I'm just a bystander!"

Tia glanced from him to the two other Espadas who were still trying to argue. But were running out of insults fast. "Your turn, Grimmmow. Go get them and afterwards, I have an idea….What are you waiting for. That is a direct order."

"Fine… fine…" Grimmjow stood up and stretched before walking over to the three soul Reapers who were trying desperately to attack Szayel and Nnoitra as they argued.

"I said, " Sazyel began, really starting to hate the annoying feeling of swords hitting him like a bunch of twigs. "I am not falling for you stupid trick. Get yourself out."

"You're the one who put me here!" Nnoitra pointed out. His body was wedged in to the sidewalk so well he couldn't move. He watched Szayel think for what seemed an eternity before he replied.

"Okay. I will help you out. But on one condition."

"Fine, pin-brain, what is that?"

"You take back all your insults and apologize. I am a sensitive soul after all."

"No freakin' way!" That was the last thing he'd ever do.

"Fine." Szayel turned around and began to walk away. A smile on his face. "Then you'll be stuck there for… say, ten years."

"Hey!" Nnoitra cried, watching the other Espada disappear out of his line of vision. "Come back here, you-"  
Grimmjow's shoe connect with his face.

"So…I heard you had an idea." Szayel said as he walked over to where Tia was reading small booklet she picked up from one of the kiosks on the corner. "What is it?"

Tia stopped reading and looked up. "Can't you read? I am looking at Real Estate. We need a place to whole up and shut up for a while."  
Szayel glanced over his shoulder at the place in the sidewalk where Nnoitra was still cursing loudly under a pile of now dead Soul Reapers. "I agree with that."

" All taken care of. Where are we going to look first?" Grimmjow asked, wiping the blood off his hands on his dark jeans as he came over.

"And do we have to share with everyone else?"

"…No. This would be us four only. The others can fare for themselves." Tia was not about to let any of the other Espadas in the doorway of her house. "Grimmjow, get Nnoitra out of the ground and we will be on our way."

* * *

Author's Note: Here are some facts I dug up on Praying Mantid and Butterflies. So the story is correct. Szayel would have a pin-sized brain if he were an actual butterfly. Funny, no?

kids/animals/creaturefeature/praying-mantid/

kids/animals/creaturefeature/monarch-butterflies/

And I am going to be playing a lot more with they somewhat animal sides in future. :)

Please Review, it would be appreciated. Thanks.


	10. A Simple Lunch Of Frog Legs

"Don't you three realize I have not had any sleep in the last three days?" Grimmjow pointed out after he walked into a door.

"You did have a good six hours last night." Szayel walked into the elevator after Nnoitra who was having to duck through every doorway he went through.

After they all hid the three Soul Reapers' bodies, Tia made a direct course to the nearest real estate office. Since it was on the tenth floor of the large building they were all to glad to take the working elevator.

"But I'm a cat and I need at least fifteen hours of sleep!" Grimmjow continued to complain to everyone who would hear.

"I understand." Tia said, "I am hungry as well. After this, we can go eat something and while we eat, you can take a nap."

"Good." Just then the elevator gave away a ding and the doors slid open to the tenth floor. Tia stepped out and was followed by her three subordinates down the hallway to office 1037.

"And of course…." Tia sighed seeing the sign on the door. "Out for lunch. Be back at three." She glanced at the watch she took off Starrk's wrist while he was sleeping when they first arrived. "That's two hours from now."

"Let us get something to eat." Grimmjow voted, "So I can get a few winks in without having to settle these twos arguments."

"Agreed." Tia turned and lead her group back to the elevator to head down once more.

~.~.~

"What in the world are you eating?" Szayel made a face at what the waiter set in front of Nnoitra's place. "It looks disgusting. At least I eat more civilized things."

"Have you never tried frog legs?" Nnoitra picked up his fork and began to eat in an odd manner. Not having chopsticks really threw him off. This Western 'Silverware' was difficult to eat with.

"Hell no. That's is, in fact, disgusting." Szayel looked away, he couldn't stand watching such decent research material disappear into Nnoita's mouth.

"And what in the world are you eating?" Nnoitra asked back, watching him reach for the honey that the waiter set on the table a few minutes ago at Szayel's request. The four of them were sitting outside a small cafe in the middle of the town.

"I, in fact am having an English muffin with honey." Szayel announced, happily.

"Or just honey with a little muffin to go with it." Grimmjow muttered, seeing the poor thing being drowned in stickiness. "Now will you to please stop arguing for once and just eat? I need my sleep."

"Whatever." Nnoitra yawned as he put his napkin in his lap. The one thing he learned in Hueco Mundo was, if he was eating with white clothes on, a napkin was best used. (But wasn't needed if he was wearing other colors.) As he had on white pants and a white sweat jacketon, he figured it would be best to adhere to the same rules. "Go sleep in an ally like a cat really would."

"Be kind." Tia muttered, digging into the whole fish on her plate. "He's been up as much as all of us. And as you know, he does need more sleep than the rest of us… but Grimmjow, stop complaining and get some."

"Fine." He sat back in his chair and closed his eyes.  
Szayel and Nnoitra shared a look.

"No doodling." Tia ordered, knowing what they were thinking. "Doodling equals demotion."

"Damn…" Nnoitra scowled, "She's so mean."

"I agree." Szayel picked up the jar of honey and began to just drizzle it onto his spoon. "I cannot believe how tasteless this is…"

"Why are you eating it, then?"

"Because."

"No," Nnoitra corrected himself, "Why are you eating it at all?"

"…I hate to make such a claim, but like you and your frog legs… which I find to be such a waste to research material, I cannot help but be drawn to honey as it is made from nectar."

"Which…butterflies eat." Nnoitra laughed, "So, if we gave Grimmjow a can of Friskies, would he eat it?"

"I suppose." Tia admitted, "Speaking of which, it may be worth a test. I have one in my bag from the apartment." She pulled the tiny can out and set it on the table while Nnoitra and Szayel leaned in to watch the effects.

"Do you think he's gonna pounce?"

"I don't think so, Szayel…" Tia put her slender finger into the small ring on the can and slowly peeled back the metal top. She watched Grimmjow's nose give a small twitch as the heavenly scents of Turkey Feast in Gravy reached him. "Wait for it…." Tia was sure he was going to wake up…"And one… two…"

"Hold up." Nnoitra cut in, sensing something not far off.  
Tia and Sazyel paused. "What is it?"

"The others are here…" Nnoitra glanced around the small outside seating area of the restaurant. "And there is no way I am putting up with the others. You guys are bad enough as it is."

"Thanks…" Szayel rolled his eyes, "Glad to know you think so highly of us."

"No." Tia added, "Really. Let's go." She scooted her chair back and stood up. "You two can wake Grimm-gently!" She snapped, seeing Nnoitra ready to hit him and Szayel about to dump a glass of water over his head.

The two sulked a moment and then poked Grimmjow's face repetitively.

"Oye!" Nnoitra tried his best to whisper, but was sounding more like a whisper coming out of a megaphone. "Wake up, kitty."

"We have Friskies if you obey our orders." Szayel added, hoping that the kitty would not be too upset by this awakening.

"Umm?…" Grimmjow mumbled, his eyes opening a little. "Did someone say Friskies?"

"Yes." Tia said, leaning in next to Nnoitra. "You have to get up as we have to leave. He sensed that the others were around here."  
Grimmjow looked at Nnoitra who was glancing around nervously. "You did?"

"Yeah. We gotta get outta here."

"Which ones?"

"Yammy and the other three. Zommari, Yammy, Aaroniero, and the King of Death."

"Esh….I'm with you. Lets us get out of here. I can't stand them."

"Yes." A look of displeasure crossed Szayel's face. "I cannot stand talking to that stupid glass tube."

"We know." Nnoitra and Tia cut him off before he could go on.

"Lets go…" Grimmjow yawned and got out of his chair. "Where should we go?"

"Somewhere." Tia said, "Now how far away are they, Nnoitra?"

"Um… about a block that way." He pointed to the left towards the gift shop area of the town. That just so happened to be the way they came from the office building.

"As for the check…" Tia reached into her purse while the others where pushing their chairs in. "I have it covered." She set a few pounds on the table and walked swiftly out of the seating area and onto the sidewalk.


	11. Blockhead-Sama's Broken Watch

"What are we doing here?" Grimmjow asked Tia as he followed her around the small gift shop they found a few blocks away from the cafe.

"I don't know…" Tia replied, picking up a child's place mat with a map on it. "Something told me I should try and figure out how close Japan is from here."

"You're right. That would be a smart idea as Aizen-sama wants us to join him once he gives the signal for us to arrive at that one town or what ever." Grimmjow reached over Tia's shoulder and picked up his own place mat-map. "And we are in Scotland… here and…."  
Nnoitra and Szayel walked in the doorway of the small shop just in time to see Grimmjow fall to the floor in a dead faint.

"What is with him?" Szayel asked, making Tia turn around.

"I think he fainted." She replied, tapping Grimmjow's shoulder with the toe of her shoe.

"Oh, he just looked at this map." Tia handed Nnoitra her map, pointing to their location as she spoke. "See this here is Scotland and-"

"That...that idiot put us in the wrong-Location!"

"No way!" Szayel ripped the map out of his hands. "How the hell are we supposed to get from here to Japan?!"

"I have no clue." Tia was baffled for the first time in her existence. "But I know we only have eight-hundred dollars left from the ten thousand Aizen-Sama gave me to take care of."

"What happened to the other seven thousand?" The two gasped, moving out of the way so Grimmjow could sit up.

"What...happened?" He asked, looking around rather clueless for a moment.

"You fainted." Tia reached and hand down and helped him to his feet. "Japan is not that far away.

"Oh… yeah, sure…" Grimmjow gingerly rubbed the right side of his face, the shock slowly wearing off. "Ow…my head hurts."

"That is what you get when your mask gets slammed into the ground, Grimmjow. Anyhow… I don't know exactly what we should do." Tia sighed. What a mess she was in. What a mess she had to get them out of, more like. The Espada had only been in the World of the Living for a week and more than half the money was gone. "Starrk used it to buy beer this past week. He kept stealing from the stash and as he is my superior, I couldn't reprimand him."

"Damn old man..." Nnoitra grouched, vowing the next time he met up with Starrk, he was in for it.

"You said it," Szayel paused to brush a piece of pink hair behind his ear. "Give him a good kick in the ass will you? I cannot believe he could spend so much money. I hardly ever spend anything unless-"

"It is for a new piece of over-priced technology." Tia poked him in the face as she spoke, "don't think you got away with one thousand two hundred dollars with out me knowing…"

"Well. It was worth it and besides, I reprogramed it to my liking."

"What can you do with it now?" Nnoitra laughed, "Make us dance the tango?'

"No. I reprogrammed it with a Reiatsu tracker and many other programs that will be quite useful to us." Sazyel replied, hating the idea of trying to make them all dance gracefully when the other Espadas had no sense of movement. "Now, Miss. Tia, have you any ideas of what the heck we are supposed to do?!"

"…None at all, besides that we need to somehow make enough money to buy our way to Japan." Tia glanced to her right hearing a loud knocking sound, only to Grimmjow resting his head on the shelf. "Still hurts, huh? Anyhow, I looked at the price of travel in the Real World and we don't even have enough money to send one person to Japan. But the good news is that we have enough money to rent a flat for a month. As for food, we will hopefully have enough for a few meals until we find jobs."

"Jobs?!" Nnoitra screamed in her ear, making her wince. "For how long?! I don't want some dumb-"

"I don't know for how long as I don't know today's date. Just a moment." Tia left the three others and went over to the clerk behind the gift shop counter. "Hello sir, what day is it?" She asked in English, cringing as the sound echoed in her ears.

"Uh…" The gentleman glanced at his wrist watch, "April thirteenth."

"Thank you sir….and…What year?" Tia figured it didn't hurt to ask; it would give her a clear time frame.

"Um… it is two-thousand and nine."

"You mean, two-thousand and ten…right?" Tia corrected him.

"Nope… Two-thousand and nine."

"What?!" She screamed, making everyone else in the store freeze for a moment. "Two…Thank you sir. I'll will see you around." Tia Harribel bowed and quickly made her way back to Sazyel, Grimmjow and Nnoitra who were now arguing.

"No, no… I don't think that's even possible."

"But it is!" Grimmjow complained, having done it himself.

"I'm with Szayel here." Nnoitra leaned his back to the wall behind him. "No one can finish a five thousand piece jigsaw puzzle in one hour. It's just not done."

"Yes it is, and once we get back, I'll prove it!"

"So…" A smile crept onto Szayel's face, "You can't possibly do it in your Whole Costume. And so, it is not… Humanly possible."

"Seesh…Shut up you two… you're making my head hurt more."

Before Nnoitra and Szayel could razz him any farther, Tia returned, much to Grimmjow's relief. "Did I seriously hear you almost scream?"

"Yes… men, I have some unfortunate news. I think you should all sit down."

No one moved.

"That's an order!" Tia snapped and a second later the three other Espadas were sitting at her feet. Grimmjow was playing cat's cradle with Nnoitra and Szayel was looking at the her through a miniature telescope.

"No!" Tia snapped, "Seriously. Put down the toys and listen the hell up!"

"Yes sir!" The three saluted and fell silent.

"Good. Now, I have just learned some good news and some bad news. Good news is… we arrived here a good while before we need to get to Japan. Bad news is… Aizen-sama sent us here a whole year behind. But, that gives us time to make enough money to get to where we need to be."

Tia watched Grimmjow raise his hand in the air.

"Yes? What is it?"

"Permission to speak, sir?"

"Granted."

"That is good news… but what in the world can the four of us do for money? I mean… there is no way I am working at McDonalds like Mr. Gloomy and second off, how are we supposed to…blend in?"

"We won't. As you and I, Grimmjow have no possible way to keep fully undercover. Where as…" She gave a look at a pair of devastated Arrancar, "They do. Now. Tell me what talents you have, Nnoitra."

"Excuse me…" Szayel cut in, kind of taking note of what Tia wasn't.

"What is it?"

"Don't you think that we should not hold a meeting in a middle of a gift shop where…" He glanced to his left where a bunch of angry tourists were staring at the four odd people hanging out, talking.

"I suppose so." Tia gave a gesture and the four of them headed outside to the street corner where they could talk in peace. "Now, we must get you two into the work force so we can make money."

"And what?" Nnoitra was anything but pleased, "You two are going to sit on your-"

"No. We are going to manage the house hold and the money. Now tell me, would you two rather be out and about or at home cleaning and cooking?"

"Work!" the two yelled, realizing they were going to be having it easy.

* * *

Author's Note: Oh yeah...he did! We get a whole Year of these Espadas in the World of the Living. Thank you so much my readers for following along with this story. It makes my day and hopefully this story makes yours as well. Next chapter we begin the Great Job Search!


	12. Sleep, Finally

The Radio Manager stared across the desk at the interviewee. "And… what is your name again?"

The man with the long black hair looked up at the ceiling. "…The…"

"I am very sorry, I can't hear you."

"Theresa! My name is Theresa! My mother was a dumb-"

"I get the idea. Looking from your resume here…" The Manager glanced at the piece on his desk. "You have had plenty of experience of broadcasting."

"Yes," 'Theresa' lied, having only used the P.A. System of Heuco Mundo to yell at Neliel and the other Espadas.

* * *

"And you want to audition for Hamlet?" The director was not sure where in the world this overly attractive man with pink hair came from or where in he had been hiding for years.

"Of course."

"And your name is?"

"Romeo."

"No, this is Hamlet." On second thought, this actor was not so bright.

* * *

Tia set down the bag of groceries on the counter that she and Grimmjow bought for the next few days. "I am so glad we found an studio apartment for five hundred a month."

"Me too." Grimmjow opened the tiny fridge in the corner of the room. It was the only piece of furniture left by the previous renters and he could see why. Inside, the fridge was almost as warm as the room and the door did not close all the way.

None the less, Grimmjow was glad they had the little thing. "What should we do now? Wait for Szayel and Nnoitra to get back?"

"I suppose so…" Tia put a small container of yogurt in the fridge before folding the paper bag.

"Great." Grimmjow laid down on the floor where the sun was casting a pool of light and curled up for a nap. "Ah… nice."

"Don't get sun burned." Tia yawned and took her sweatshirt and curled up on the shade at the other side of the room. "Wake me up when they get back.'

"I don't think that I'll have to do that. They'll do it themselves."

"True…" Tia muttered, closing her eyes.

And soon the two of them were so fast asleep, they did not even hear the others return hours later.

* * *

Author's Note: This is a rather short chapter. The next one will be longer. :) Hey, they finally got to sleep. Yaya!

Review please.

Thanks


	13. Thou Shalt Not Destroy The Apartment

Szayel rolled his eyes as one of the other actors called for a line; again. Midway through a scene that was only five pages long.

"Director!" The Actor playing Hamlet yelled from the stage were the other actors were rehearsing. "Can you please, tell him to stop that? I cannot act while I am being the one receiving angry vibes from my fellow actors!"

"I can see everything that goes on…" Omar sighed from his seat in the audience. "Romeo, don't aggravate Ned. This is only the third day to rehearsal. Is that understood?'

"All right…" Szayel put a sweet smile on his face. "I am sorry. I am just a perfectionist."

"Thank you… go on Ned. The line is, O good Horatio, I'll take the ghost's word for a thousand pound. Didst perceive?"

"Oh, yes." Ned chuckled and repeated the line.

"Very well, my lord." Szayel added from the end of the semi-circle of chairs where he was sitting.

Ned flipped the page of his script he held, "Upon the talk of Poisoning?"

"I very well note him."

And so Act Three, Scene two - A hall in the Castle in went on without a hitch.

* * *

On his way back to the apartment after rehearsal that evening, Szayel was walking down the sidewalks in the suburban area of Scotland. As he stood on the sidewalk, waiting to cross the street, a car pulled up with the radio blasting.

"And now, we bring you the newest celebrity gossip."

"Of course we do, Marcy. Every hour, to keep you little folks to date on the latest news."

Szayel put his thoughts on pause. He knew that voice….

"First. Over in Piccadilly, the man who won the recent pie eating contest has now decided to start his own bakery. Now, here is where it get's strange. It's not just an ordinary-"

"Nnoitra?!" Szayel not believe the idiot who decided to give Hueco Mundo's foulest mouth a country wide microphone. "What the hell are you doing on the-"

The light in the intersection turned green and before Szayel could move, the car with the radio drove off.

"What the- You get back here!" He screamed as the car turned out of sight to his right. "Great…What a great day this is… First, the stupid director tells me to dye my beautiful hair black and now Spoon head is on the radio. What next? The talking glass tube teaching swimming lessons?"

(At that moment, somewhere else in Scotland.)

"And now. Spread your arms out like this…" Aaroniero instructed, demonstrating for his students. The face of his Whole Costume permanently took the look of Kaien Shiba, making it possible for him to hide under full cover. "And then… gently stroke… One and two, and…Very good!"

(And now, back to Szayel who is still ranting. Thankfully, we cut away in time to keep from censoring this program. Thank you.)

"And of course, Tia make me be a damn actor!" Szayel grouched as he shuffled down the street in a huff. "And what will Grimmjow and she do? Nothing. Just because their hollow masks are on their frickin' faces! Hey, what the hell are these glasses, thank you. Do you know what kind of pain it is to try and go to sleep with glasses on your face? Goddamn it!"

He turned corner after corner and soon he walked up the steps to their small studio where the smell of food was wafting into the hallway.

"But…on second thought…" Szayel took his keys out of his pocket and unlocked the door. "Coming home to-"

"Hey." Nnoitra asked from where he was sitting on the small couch Tia picked off the sidewalk. "What the hell took you so long to get home."

"Never mind." Szayel gently adjusted his glasses as he walked in, shutting the door in his wake. "More like, what dumb-ass gave you a microphone? What the hell were you doing on the radio?!"

"It's my job, pin-brain."

"Don't you two start!" Tia snapped, walking in between the two of them.

"Why not?" Nnoitra took a step forwards.

"Yes, he started it." Szayel cared to inform her, doing the same.

"Because, you will destroy this place and we won't have any place to sleep, eat or live. And we don't have any more money. So. In short. Begin fighting inside will only get you demoted. Or worse. Depending on my mood at the time I talk with Aizen-sama."

Nnoitra and Szayel shared a long glare.

"Fine…" Szayel sighed and stepped back. "I will not fight you inside."

"So…will I." Nnoitra agreed.

"So, we'll take this outside!" Szayel reached over and grabbed a piece Nnoitra's long hair and began to drag him out the door.

Tia watched them disappear and Grimmjow who was trying to make an old lamp work, winced as he heard Nnoitra being dragged down the steps. "Ouch."


	14. If I Kiss You, Will You Shut Up?

"What are you gonna do, you Pink-haired Punk? Beat me up?" Nnoitra laughed, staring at the sword Szayel had in his hands. "Like that will ever happen. You and I are three whole numbers ap-"

"Two." Szayel corrected, holding up his left hand. "Five. Six. Seven. Eight. There are two numbers-"

"Whatever! Stop being so damn smart, okay?!" Nnoitra could care less about the actual math. All he wanted to do was grind Szayel's face into the cement to get him to finally shut up. "I know one thing, I am so much more powerful than you."

"Right…" Szayel smiled a little. In the Whole Costumes, Nnoitra could not call on Santa Theresa or could he move as fast. Even though the same went for him, Szayel was more naturally agile. "Not in your current state, no. Remember how I sent you in the sidewalk a few weeks ago?"

"Yea. I do. And now it's pay back time!" Nnoitra lifted his sword into the air and ran at Szayel who stepped aside at the last second. "Stop avoiding me!"

"It's not really that hard to hit me, being two whole numbers higher. You are just too tall for your own good. As I am far shorter than you, I can easily duck and move away." Szayel said as he continually did so. "And yes, I am going to beat you up here, once you give up. I am just waiting for a perfect moment."

"You stupid. Little." Nnoitra continued to hack away, but his blade only connected with air. "Butterfly. Let. Me. Slice. You. Up!"

"Thank you." Szayel grinned as he moved to the right. "It seems to me that you are in fact a cockroach. Rather bumbling and-"

Nnoitra grabbed Szayel by the collar of his shirt and lifted him off his feet. "Would you just. Shut. Up?"

"And what of my talking annoys you?" Szayel inquired, not caring that his feet were no longer touching the ground. "To be honest, my voice is rather pleas-"

Nnoitra leaned forward and kissed Sazyel on the lips.

And a hand connected with his face.

"What the heck are you trying to do?" Szayel demanded to know, "Trying to shut me up? It's not going to work. I am going to talk as much I want while I-"

"If I don't kiss you, then, will you shut up?" A voice asked.

Szayel and Nnoitra slowly looked to the left to see Grimmjow hanging out by the door leading inside the apartment building.

"For your information," Szayel continued, "It will not work. And now." He turned his attention back to Nnoitra who was grinning at him. "Put me down and get ready to battle it out once and for all!"

"Great!" Nnoitra let go of his shirt and Szayel landed gracefully on his feet.

"No, no." Grimmjow sighed and stepped in between them yet again. Risking life and limb to keep Tia happy. "Don't battle it out now. Why don't we, you know, wait until we get home where-"

"No way." Szayel was going to beat Nnoitra up. Here and now. "Because if I wait, I won't stand a chance and that is hardly fair, no?"

"I know… But really, you two. Fighting with swords in broad daylight is only bound to land you two in a jail cell. Together." Grimmjow added after a pause, hoping the two would think this fight over. "And we don't have enough money to bail you out."

"…Fine.." Nnoitra agreed, rubbing the side of his face with a bright red hand print on it. "Put away your sword for now, you pink-haired punk."

"Only if you agree to fight me fairly."

"Right… not. You fight dirty and you know it." Nnoitra was not about to be come a doll for Szayel to smash all it's insides with a hammer.

"How about this… then?" Szayel began, thinking it through quickly, "we fight without releasing our swords. Then, it is a far more even fight."

"…All right." Nnoitra agreed, feeling a twinge of regret over the deal. "But I will still beat you into a mess of pink goo."

"What is it you and my pink hair? Envious?" Szayel asked, giving his head a small toss.

"No way. I just think it looks ug-"

An angry foot connected Nnoitra's shin, causing him to fall to the ground.

"What in hell was that for?!" He yelled, injured enough already.

"How dare you call my hair ugly when yours looks girly!" Szayel demanded.

"In what way?!"

"Shut up!" Grimmjow screamed, shoving the two of them away from one another, sending the two flying. "And both of you do not talk to one another ever again until you can talk without fighting. That's an order from Tia!"

"Right…" Szayel muttered, slowly climbing off the ground. "Why don't you just go back upstairs little Kitty-Cat and let us settle this."

"Yeah." Nnoitra scoffed as he stood up again. "Until you get a written document from Tia, go away. That's an order Number Six, from me. Number Five."

"Damn…." Grimmjow cursed, turning around to run back into the building. Halfway up the ten flights of stairs, he stopped, rather winded. "He figured it out… how?…I know one… thing… these Whole Costumes are a real pain…" Grimmjow took a deep breath and continued up the steps in a hurry. If he didn't get an actual note from Tia, the whole neighborhood could go down and he'd have no where to nap.

He finally reached the apartment door and burst inside. "Tia! You have to give me a paper with orders for them to stop. Nnoitra figured out his actual rank and now he won't listen to me and Szayel is being a pain in th-"

"I got the point." Tia grabbed Grimmjow's hand and began to write on it. "Sorry, I have no paper. This will have to do. Now… I order you two to stop fighting and come back upstairs for a quite dinner. Espada 3. Go. now."

"Okay! Sorry about this!" Grimmjow ran over to the nearest window and a second later, jumped out of it. Hoping that like a cat, he'd land on his feet.

* * *

Author's Note: The good ol' married couple are at it again... Heh. It's so fun to watch them fight. And I cannot wait to see them battle it out in Hueco Mundo. But in the mean time, thank goodness for the use of Grimmjow's hand. I hope he does land on his feet.. but... I don't know.

As for the kiss, I am glad I didn't keep you (Or myself) waiting forever. Heh. With this much tension through the previous chapters, there was no way I was going to withhold any kisses. (I never do. So stick around as I feel another kiss in the future.)


	15. Grimmjow, the Handnote Messenger

"And of course not…" Grimmjow groaned as he climbed off the sidewalk, a little worse for wear, but alive. He began to limp towards the front of building, assessing that one of his bones in his right leg was surely broken and one of his ribs was cracked.

Not bad for falling six stories into a pile of old card board boxes.

He limped around the corner of the building in time to see Sazyel hit Nnoira's head with a trash can lid. Where he got it, Grimmjow had no clue as there were no trash cans around… but that wasn't why he was here.

"Hey…Hey…" Grimmjow's voice was not be heard over Nnoitra defending himself with an old paintbrush. "Hey!"

The two stopped and looked at him.

"What?" Nnoitra asked, wondering if the little Espada was back to annoy him farther.

Grimmjow held out his left hand, "Here. Message from Tia. It says…" he squinted to make out the little letters under the new layer of dust, "I…I order you to stop fighting and come up for a…a.. quite dinner. Espada Three."

And that did the trick. Nnoitra sighed and Szayel dropped the trash can lid on the ground.

"Fine. Coming upstairs." Szayel grouched, glaring at Nnoitra who had the nerve to kiss him. "This isn't over, you know."

"You talk too much." Nnoitra hobbled behind him up the front steps, both of their swords in his hands.

"Shut up you two." Grimmjow snapped, starting to get a headache again from the whole mess. He led them back up the six flights of steps and to the open apartment door. "Tia, we're back…"

"Good." She said from where she was sitting on the couch, drinking the soup she made. "Sit down and eat. Quietly."

And much to her pleasure, they did as they were told. So, Tia Harribel had a nice, silent evening.


	16. Hairball Coffee

The next morning was not so pleasant. Tia was awoken by Grimmjow arguing with Nnoitra who was trying to make him brew coffee.

"I don't even know how to make coffee!" Grimmjow really wished the Fifth Esapada still thought he was the seventh. "And if you know how to, why in the world are you making me do it?"

"Because he can…" Szayel said from where he was sitting in his corner of the studio apartment, reading his script.

"Exactly!" Nnoitra shoved the small bag of coffee into Grimmjow's hands. "Read the directions underling and get brewing. I can't wait around for ever for a cup of joe."

"Then why don't you make it?!" Grimmjow insisted, looking at the directions on the back, all written in English. "How am I supposed to read this?"

"Learn, you-"

"Do I really have to tie you in a corner?"

Nnoitra glanced to the right to see Tia standing there with a displeased look her face. "Don't make me do it." She added, gesturing to her sword that leaning on the wall by the door. "Make your own damn coffee while I send Grimmjow on an errand."

"You're such a stupi-"

"Don't make me add a hand print to the other side of your face." Tia threatened, not wanting to hear Nnoitra's degrading comments. "Go sit in your corner and stay there until you have to leave for work."

"Oye, I have to leave now. That's why I'm getting this hairball to make me coffee."

"Then leave now and get out of this apartment before I personally throw you out of the window." Tia was not going to put up with any more arguing. Ever.

She watched Nnoitra grouch and after a second though, walked out of the apartment before he said anything more.

* * *

"Are you sure this is going to work?" Starrk asked Uquiorra as the two of the stood behind the window of the McDonald's drive-thru. Dressed for the job and waiting out a slow hour after the morning rush.

"If it would not work," Ulquiorra turned a few dials on the oven where some of the food was baking. "Why would I be taking action on the idea?"

"Because…" Starrk yawned loudly, inhaling some fries as he did so. "You just wanna."

"That is irrelevant." Came the reply. "Get back to work."

"But I don't like work."

"Then, go home."

"Cool." Starrk took his red visor off and walked out the back door before Ulquiorra could protest.

* * *

"And so," Marcy leaned in towards the microphone as she spoke of the newest story in the news. "It seems like the crash was caused by someone's tire blowing out. What, did they put too much air in the tire?"

She paused for a moment, hearing no laughter or comment. Marcy glanced to her left to see Theresa slouching in his seat. A scowl pasted across his already sharp features.

Marcy switched off her microphone after signing off for the advertisement section of the hour. "Um… Theresa, what's up? You came in all gloomy today and have hardly said anything."

"Yeah. So?"

"I was just wondering what was up."

"Well… I hate my stupid roomies to begin with." Nnoitra leaned back in his chair to stare at the ceiling, "And I am getting tired of being bossed around."

"Oh… Really?" Marcy did not think he was the kind of man who would be easily pushed around. Given his personality. "By all of them?"

"Kinda. It's complicated. It's not a big deal, I just kind of want to flatten their faces into the floor, you know."

"Yeah… I live with my brother at the moment and sometimes he really ticks me of."

"Maybe we should start a rebellion or something."

"I don't think we should." Marcy laughed at his idea as she glanced at the time left on the computer screen. "The ads are almost over. So, you ready to take the first lines?'

"Sure… Too bad I can't cuss on this radio."

"What, Theresa?" Marcy ran the line through her head again. "What did you just say?"

Nnoitra sat up in his chair, "I just said, too bad I can't cuss on this radio. That's all."

"You said, this radio." Marcy pointed out, "you can't cuss on any radio anywhere in the world! What did you say?!"  
"Nothing. Just that a chick I knew once, Neliel, was a *****."

"You can't say ***** on the air!"

"Well, it wasn't in the rule book I had." Nnoirta grouched, not sure what Marcy's problem with a few cusses. "I said much worse than that before… I mean, half of the people I worked with were all ******** and ****** then ******** but mostly *****."

Marcy stared at Theresa in shock. "How could you get away with saying those words?!" She reached over and pressed the repeat button on the computer so the ads would play once again. "Teach me your tricks!"

* * *

Author's Note: We will see more of Ulquiorra's party and the other group consisting of Yammy, Aaroniero and Baraggan. As they are all important. So hang in there, fans!

And yes, the Star Swearing is actual *'s for a comedic turn.


	17. Playing Human Is A Pain

"And why do I have to rehearse around these set builders?" Szayel asked Omar that evening. As they were in a professional troupe, the set was already being built for next week's opening. The whole rehearsal process from first reading to opening, taking no more than two weeks."How am I supposed to act, Omar?"

"I have to agree." Ned added from the other side of the stage where he was trying to read his script while some idiot drilled screws into a beam of wood. "If we are going to get through this dramatic scene, we need silence to let the creativeness flow."

Omar closed his script book and looked up at the two actors on the stage. "I understand. How about we take five and let the set builders finish their work."

"Sounds good." Ned walked across the stage over to Szayel who was messing with his hair he now loathed with a passion. "I was wondering how you wanted to play this, Romeo."

"What?" Szayel stopped fussing and turned to Ned. "What did you want?"

"I wanted to know how you wanted to play this scene in the castle."

"All the scenes are in the castle as far as I know." Szayel replied, having a little trouble figuring out the exact setting of some scenes. "Go on, speak away…."

It was such a pain to have to play human…

He had to be nice to everyone. Which was a real pain in-

"This scene is in a Churchyard actually." Ned pointed to the type on the top of the page. "Your script should have the-" He moved out of the way of a passing by beam. "It should have a location at the beginning of each scene."

"Yes." Szayel glanced at the page number and opened his own script to the same. Forgetting the tragedy of his hair for a brief moment. "I think maybe you should tone this line down here… but maybe, bring it back up for here… Just remember it's like you're talking. Not like you're acting. That's how Shakespeare should be done. In my option any-"

"Coming through!"

Szayel moved down stage a few steps to make way for a metal pole to pass by. "In my option anyhow. We shouldn't ham it up so horribly.

What if they took the way we spoke today and acted it out like it was some epic?"

"Heh." Ned snickered, the mental image crossing his mind. "Yea. You're right. How about here? What do you think we should try? I think your line after mine, you should try and sound a little more concerned. Right now you are just kind of…"

"I know. I just haven't got the right tone of voice down. But, yes. You should bring this line down again."

"Great… Great…"

Szayel watched Ned gently mark his script with a pencil from his pocket. "You know this really helps, don't you, Romeo?"

"Yes, I am aware of su-"

The world flickered back to life.

And much to his relief, Szayel found himself still standing. "And so I was-"

"You okay?" Ned cut in before he could go on. "You were hit on the side of the head pretty well, a second ago."

"Yes, I'm fine." Szayel replied with a smile. Even though he was seeing double and feeling like falling over. "If you don't mind, I'm going to go make sure there isn't a dent in my head."

"All right… but… don't you thi-" Ned froze as a scary pair of yellow eyes glared at him as Romeo walked off stage. On second thought… he had to admit to himself, his fellow actor was kind of creepy.

* * *

"What kind of idiots do those set builders think they are?!" Szayel pulled his black hair out of the way so he could get a better view of his glasses. "Slamming a piece of wood into my mask…If I wasn't undercover, I would crush their organs into dust, one at a time… I think I'd start with their little brains. Oh, wait. No. They don't have any. How could I forget?!"

He leaned in towards the mirror and as he thought, no cracks in the side piece.

"Of course it would take a lot more to break them, but…With this costume, no chances should be taken." Szayel muttered, checking the other side and the front as well. "And now, I have a horrible pain in my head and there is no-"

The door to the Men's Washroom opened and Ned peeked in. "Omar wants to know if you're okay. And he wants me also to let you know, he wants us to get back to rehearsal. If you're okay that is."

"I am fine." Szayel let his hair fall back in place to cover where his glasses fused with this skull. _It is just a small injury… goodness knows I've had worse._

"Great." Ned made a strange gesture with his fingers that caused only his thumb to stick up in the air. "See you in a sec."

A_nd the real world just became stranger… _Szayel double checked his glasses one more time before heading back to the stage where Christie was practicing her lines.

"Hold up, Christie." Omar bent down and checked his script. "That's Ophelia Line. You're Queen Gertrude's Understudy."

"I know… but she's not here right now. She had to go home to check on her kids, remember?"

"Yes I do. Would you pleas go sit down."

Christie frowned and returned to her seat in the audience where the other actors were waiting for their scenes.

"We good now?" Omar asked Romeo who was walking to back on stage to continue the scene.

"Yes." Szayel opened his script to the bookmark and was about to read when he heard, "If you could take off your glasses for the actual show, as we are doing period costumes."

Szayel looked up, not sure if he heard that right. "What?"

"The glasses." Omar repeated himself. "I would like them to come off for the actual show."

"…Well…" For once, Heuco Mundo's brilliant Scientist had no clue what to say. "Well…"

"Is that a problem for some reason?" Omar asked, wondering if his actor was legally blind and just neglected to inform on the matter. "Could you possibly wear contact lenses?"

And where is a soul Reaper to blow up this theatre when you need one? Sazyel glanced around, hoping. Just hoping for once that a Soul Reaper would show up….

None came, however.

Leaving him with two problems he had to work out in the next few seconds before anyone noticed he was hesitant. First was the fact that his glasses would not come off. Being what remained of his former Hollow Mask. Second, it would be detrimental to his cover if he could not take them off.

"Of course." Szayel replied with only a moment's pause. Between opening and the current rehearsal, he had a good three days to figure out what to do about this sudden problem.

"Thank you, Romeo. Begin the scene from the top."


	18. The Adventures of Aaroniero and Yammy

"Where is Zommari?" Aaroniero asked Yammy as he returned to the hotel room they stole from an unsuspecting rich couple. Who thankfully left a gold bracelet on the nightstand.

"No clue. He went out with the old dude, what's his name. I don' know where they went, but… I "

"If you remember, let me know. Shall we watch television then?"

"Yeah, don't wanna miss the late show with Craig." Yammy reached for the remote and turned on the television. Leaving Aaroniero to wonder where in the world the other two Espadas could be at Eleven o'clock at night. "But if you want to go look for them, you can."

"I guess I should… the two being immature at that." Aaroniero stood up and headed for the door. "Yammy, come. Craig is on every night. Besides, you don't want to watch that blond star make a fool of herself."

"Ah, I guess you're right." Yammy yawed, half asleep anyhow and picked up his large scarf he wore around his face. "We should leave now."

He's muffled voice said a minute later after he hid his hollow mask well as possible. "But where should we look first?"

Aaroniero shrugged and quietly made his way outside to the parking lot of the hotel. "Do you know what they like to do?"

"No clue. Never hung with them. Zommari likes love though. Or, Amore, should I say."

"That is not a very good start. Considering the places that we may have to dig through. How about Barraggan?"

"No idea…Go watch Craig!" Yammy was going to give up already. Two espadas could find their way home on their own.

"I don't want to watch Craig!" Aaroniero had enough of this silly show to last him a century. "I want to go find Barraggan and Zommari for who knows what kind of trouble they are are getting themselves into!"

"Go. Watch. Craig!"

"I said no!" Aaroniero turned to stare up at Yammy who was glaring down at him. "We have to-"

"I'm in charge!"

"No, you aren't! I'm the ninth and you are- Wait! What are you doing taking your shirt off?!"

Yammy grinned and turned around so Aaroniero could see the tattooed 0 on his left shoulder. "We go watch Craig instead.'

"No, no…" Aaroniero could not believe that Yammy was such a blockhead. "I'm nine and you're null. Nine is more than Null….No? What you do you mean?"

"Null is less than one. The Espadas are not one to ten. Null to Nine!"

Yammy smiled as he watched a look of horror and disgust cross Aaroniero's face.

"No! No! No! This can't be right, Aizen-Sama! Don't make me answer to the bossy pink-haired freak AND this thing! No! Save me!"

"We go watch Craig!" Yammy grabbed the ninth Espada by the back of his shirt and began to drag him back inside. Still screaming at Aizen as if he would hear the pleas from earth.

"Please! No! That's it! Once I get back, I'm quitting! You can find yourself another underling to answer to every other Espada! We're are so gone and-"

"Shh!" Yammy snapped as he fished the hotel key out of his pocket, "Everyone else is sleeping…while we watch Craig!"

"NO! No! No! I won-"

Yammy shut the door of the hotel room, hopefully saving everyone else from being awoken.

* * *

They had even everything and everyone in the entire building. And they were still hyped.  
Barraggan grinned a toothy smile at Zommari who was wearing a mask he bought not to long ago. "Are you Comic-con'd out yet?"

"Nope!" He reached up an adjusted the Yoda mask. "Wanna go get another autograph?"

"Sure! How much money do we have left from that gold bracelet?"

"Ten bucks."

"Awesome! Let's go find someone who will give us a ten buck autograph. I'm sure we can find some around here."  
Hours ago, Aaroniero (who thought he was in charge) sent Baraggan and Zommari out on an errand. What they were supposed to get, they forgot the moment they saw the sign for the Scotland Comic Convention. And of course, once they came to check it out, they stayed.

"Or do you wanna go get some booze?" Baraggan asked, rethinking the use of the last ten dollars.

"Good idea!" So, Zommari and Baraggan skipped off to the nearest bar, hoping that Aaroniero was not out looking for them. "For he would so kill us if he found is here.."

"Don't sweat It, you whippersnapper." Baraggan sat down at the bar, "I'm the second, he's the ninth. Even that weird…who ever he/she/it is could beat him up. Never could tell with the hair….or the voice."

Zommari thought it over for a moment, "I don't know…now that you say that… Two beers please!"

"Yes sirs!" The bartender smiled and soon placed two beers on the counter. "And here you go!"

"And here is to, fun!" Baraggan announced, raising his beer mug in the air. "Because we ain't gonna have any, if we ain't broke!"


	19. A Evening of Bad News

Szayel sighed as he walked down the dimly lit streets as the rehearsal did not come to a close until one in the morning. The main cause of the long night was the fact that Christie tried her best to fill in for Ophelia and it did not go over well with Omar who was already at the end of his leash.

But that was the least of Szayel's troubles.

What was more pressing for the last six hours were his glasses.

_Note: one flaw in Aizen's Whole Costumes. I cannot break my glasses off my face as it would be far too painful, even for myself. And I cannot hide them without wearing a hat. Which, the director told me I would not be wearing…._  
Szayel stopped at the corner briefly before walking across the dead intersection. _And of course this is all Miss. Tia's fault and when I get back to the Flat, as they call it around this area, I am going to have to yell at-_

"Watch where you're walking, pin-brain."

_Great… Nnoitra. Go away, will you?_

"Wow… You aren't screaming your head off." Nnoitra observed, watching Szayel walk right past him. Completely ignoring the direct insult.

"What's wrong with you? Learn you could fly and crashed into a car?"

"Hardly." Szayel muttered, not wanting to put up with his stupid comments. "And you? Did you learn how to crawl up a wall?"

"Nah. Decided it was too difficult. Oye, where do you think you are going? The apartment is the other direction, dumb-"

"I am going to go find something to punch." Szayel replied, really wanting to add another mark to Nnoitra's face. However, refrained himself with a reminder of Tia's direct orders. (Via Grimmjow's hand.) "Which, I feel would best be found at the Gym I saw a few blocks west of here."

"Why? I mean, acting can't be hard enough and besides…I'm in a worse crunch than you are." Nnoitra pointed out with a sneer. "And I'll have to tell-"

"I bet you are not and that you are lying." Szayel was not going to adhere by Miss. Tia's orders much longer if spoon head here kept on talking.

"Nah… What's worse than being fired?"

"Really? Are you that daft? You were only there two weeks."

"I know…" Nnoitra laughed at himself, "Tea-pot's gonna blow her top. And having to tell her has to be worse that your stupid problem."

"No, it is along the same lines…Now that I reflect on it. The director wishes for me to remove my glasses for the run of the show."

"Uh…" Nnoitra stared at him for a moment, "Isn't that impossible?"

"Yes. And so, I will be out of a job and blow my cover if we do not come up with a quick plan that is hopefully painless."

"Oye, that is a problem. I have to get the guts up to go home and get my ass kicked by a woman."

"You are so sexist aren't you?" Szayel observed. "I honestly would not care what the gender was, I would only care that my ass was being kicked, which it hasn't for along time, thankfully."

"Yeah. Whatever. See ya 'round." Nnoitra turned and walked off, leaving Szayel to continue on his way.


	20. Hat, Clogs and Dangerous Fans

"Well, this is a dilemma." Tia announced after hearing the latest news. "Since Nnoitra is out of a job, we kind of have to rely on you, Szayel. Which-"

"I don't like to do." Grimmjow said from the couch, where he was lounging. Grateful that his injuries from jumping out the window were finally healed. "But we have to."

"I was speaking!" Tia snapped, hating being interrupted. "Which means, we have to figure out solution. First of all," She reached out and tried to move Szayel's glasses.

"Ow! What are you-"

"Just checking. Okay. They really won't come off-"

"Of course they won't! They are like your face mask that you somehow eat through!" Szayel cried, swatting her hand away before they tried to move his hollow mask again.

"I don't eat." Tia replied, "I drink my food and water through a straw. Which reminds me that maybe somehow…We could make a cut in the glasses to-"

"No!" He screamed, backing away before she even raised a hand.

"Yeah…If he's gonna be such a pain about it, " Grimmjow joked with a grin that only got him a glare back from the Eighth Espada, "We have to think of something else."

"I suppose you are correct, Grimmjow. And that really only leaves us one option I really did not want to suggest…"

"And what is that?"

"Go to the one shop to get a fix for this problem/"

"And where is that?" Nnoitra snorted, a idiotic idea coming to his mind. "Urahara's?"

"Yes."

"I was afraid you were gonna say that."

"….are they even open this late?" Grimmjow asked Tia who grabbed her purse off the top of the mini Refrigerator. "And isn't it in the place we are supposed to be right now? Also known as, Japan?"

"True. However, due to the popularity, we have one on ever continent. And thankfully, the one in Europe is not to far from here. And they would never turn down a customer."

* * *

"Hello and welcome!" An too eager shopkeeper greeted the four Espadas as they entered the small corner side shop in the downtown London area."And how may I help you all today?"

"And of course we run into the big guy himself…." Grimmjow muttered to himself, trying his best not to be hit with Urahara's happy fan dance.

"And what good timing! I was just about go to Antarctica tomorrow to check up on things there!" Urahara put his fans away after finally nailing Grimmjow's face for kicks. "Down to business. Confidential Business that is. No one will know you were ever here. Honest. I would never turn down a paying customers. What do you need?"

"We came for we have a problem…" Tia quickly outlined the basic problem with Szayel's glasses. Leaving out details of why they were in town. (Or in this world for that matter.) "And we need a solution."

"Ah…" Urahara grinned, "That's simple. There are two possible things I could give you. As I see that…well. You are, you." He refrained from saying Hollow as the attendants at the store would jump into action. "But… come over here… You with the glasses."

Szayel followed Urahara into the depths of the store, followed by his superiors.

"And so, I was thinking once you mentioned that your…Giga, I will call it does not completely conceal you as intended. It only being for temporary use and I was thinking that I could make you not only a more useful one, but one that wouldn't fall apart."

Tia stopped in her tracks, causing Nnoitra and Grimmjow to crash into her. "What did you say?"

"I said these will fall apart in a few weeks. Or less. Depending on may factors. You see, who ever made these for you, did not seal your Riatsu away correctly. I can see it leaking out through the skin, causing miniature tears in the fabric. And soon, you wouldn't have a moment of piece. As I sure that you would be swarmed by…well…As for you…"

Urahara stopped and glanced up and down at what he had to model the new Giga off of. "Do you want black hair or something more exciting?"

"Actually…" It was almost too painful to say, "It was pink a few days ago. Just as it has been for centuries. Naturally."

"Oh…My sympathies. And so, since we are emotionally attached to the hair or so I see, I'll make it pink then."

"And, before I ask how much, what was your second idea?" Tia asked, remembering what the shop owner said a few minutes ago.

"Second idea? Oh! Yes!" Urahara laughed, whipping out his fans again. "I was thinking that you should take one of these." He reached over and grabbed a small jar out of one of these bins. "Don't ask me where I got these okie?"

"Okay…" Szayel looked at the small container that had a bunny shaped top. "I won't. But what is this?"

"Of course you kn-wait. You wouldn't. That is Soul Candy. The best in fact! Just pop one in your mouth and you are replaced by a temporary soul!"

Szayel gently turned the jar around in his hands, thinking. "And… Can you teach these temporary souls?"

"Yep! If they care to listen. Some of them are duds, but get the right one and you're set. And you can reuse the same one too."

"Duds?" Nnoitra was not sure what he meant. "How?"

"Some have wacky personalities. But it can't be helped. Anyhow… Use a mod soul and that is where my second solution comes in. Once you're out of your Gigai, your riatsu will be free and send up a giant flare. So, to cut that-hold your hand out."

"All righ-" A simple wristwatch attached itself to Szayel's outstretched arm. "What is-"

"That is a Riatsu damper, or blocker as I would like to call it. When you wear it, the device cuts down almost all the flare. Enough anyhow to go undetected by most people and six-senses. And when you are in your Gigai, it gives you the date and time!"

Szayel stared at the pink watch, kind of liking the idea of it matching his hair. "And…is there a down side to this?"

"Kinda."

"What is that?"

"You won't be as powerful as the watch tries to suppress your energy. But I am sure for someone like yourself, you won't notice much different. Your Zampoto might not release as it takes a large amount to do so."  
Urahara listened to the silence that followed before adding, "Are you ready to check out? If you order a Gigai, I can guarantee it to be at your hands by tomorrow. Meanwhile, you can go home and experiment with the Soul Candy. It's strawberry flavored. Who knew that they could do that."

He caught the tall one make a face out of the corner of his eye. "Ew. I hate strawberries…"

"You don't have to eat it…Mr…Spoon, is it?"

"Sure. Whatever."

"Who here has the money?" Urahara asked with a happy smile on his face.

Tia stepped over to the counter with him, leaving Nnoitra, Szayel and Grimmjow, who could see tears running down Tia's face as she signed the bill.


	21. Soul Candy Auditions

"Try it out, oye." Nnoitra urged Szayel after they returned home with the Soul Candy and a humiliated Tia who actually wept on Grimmjow's shoulder on the way back.

Now, owning Urahara money for life and eternity.

"All right already!" Szayel snapped, having to put up with Nnoitra's pestering all the way back to the apartment. "I'll try it!" He brought the little container up to his mouth and with a clicked the button. "Wow… these do taste like-"

With a sudden jolt, Szayel found himself standing next to his body, dressed in his daily clothes he wore in Heuco Mundo. "Amazingly, it-"

"Hello!" A chipper voice chirped out of the body he was in a moment ago. "I'm Irina! It's great to meet someone so…pink."  
Szayel gave Nnoitra a look. Really? This was a feminine soul? No way was he…

"Next.." Grimmjow said, trying his best not to laugh. The soul did in fact fit Szayel, but… he guessed that was not what the Eight Espada was going for. Personality wise.

Szayel reached into the bag his body was holding and pulled out a small talisman. "Urahara said that this should work to change the soul out."

After a few minutes of confusion, Szayel put the next soul into his body, after handing the small green bead to Grimmjow who put it in his pocket. (As there seemed to be no way to put it back in the container it came in.

"Hopefully this one…" Szayel watched the body stand up from where it fell to the floor. Before speaking, the soul began to flex it's arms.

"Wow… Cool. Or…" he watched as nothing happened to his arm when he flexed it. "Not. I mean, how I am suppose to be a hunk when I'm in the body of a-"

Szayel slammed the talisman into his face, sending the little pill flying. "Ew. Next."

"Oh no!" The next soul screamed, discovering that was in a body. "My hair is black! I hate black! I hate you, weird person dressed in-"

"Next." Szayel said blankly. So far, auditions were not going so well.

"Hallo! Ich liebe dich! Was is-"

"No one will understand me… next."

"Why does this seem really annoying?" Nnoitra asked, sitting down on the top of couch next to Tia who had been silent since she stopped crying.

"Because, they all are… So…" Szayel stepped on the latest rejection, cracking the small green shell underfoot. "We must find one that is as close to my personality, or as normal as possible. No?"

"I suppose." Grimmjow said, hoping that all of them would be duds, so he'd get a good laugh. "On another matter… Nnoitra here is out of the job and how much are you getting payed, Szayel?"

"I am not sure. I do not get my check until a week after we open."

"And that is a major problem." Tia finally spoke. Her voice not indicating any sorrow. "For we are down to sixty cents."

"Sixty cents?" Grimmjow was sure they at least had a good three hundred left.

"We went to Urahara. And the Gigais I ordered, cost four hundred…for the month. All together…fifteen thousand. But I told him I'd make payments. And-"

"So that was why you were blubbering all over Grimmjow's shoulder like a wo-"  
Tia smashed her fist into the left side of Nnoitra's face, causing him to fall off the top of the couch. "Don't make me grind you up into dinner. Just because I am a Vasto Lorde, doesn't mean I do not enjoy lowly hollows like yourself."

Her voice echoed in the silence it left across the one room studio.

"I have come up with plan." Tia announced five minutes later once Nnoitra realized she was serious and shut up for once in his life. "Szayel. With your computer, make Grimmjow a resume and a many a fake diploma. I am sending him to teach school as I saw an opening for history teacher at the local Junior School in this district."

"Uh-oh…" Grimmjow muttered, realizing that like her threat, she was serious. "And… that second Gigai you ordered, was for me, I assume."  
"Of course it was. I ordered one for all of us."

"Sounds like an interesting plan." Szayel admitted, walking over to his corner to open his computer. "However, how is it that you wish for him to be a teacher when I could make him into a lawyer or some other higher earning profession?"

"This would be the best undercover job. If you can pull off normal human behavi- put down that can of friskies, Grimmjow!"

"Yeah." Nnoitra snatched the can out of his hands, "Bad kitty."

"Thank you for your comment, Spoon-Head. I was saying was as a simple human teacher he would blend in better and not be suspected if he suddenly disappeared. Which, you will have to resign before we leave for Japan."

"I see." Szayel opened one of his many programs and began to type away. "And I will have this to you by tomorrow."

"Good." Tia stood up and went over to the refrigerator. "Fine yourself a suitable soul and continue your work. Nnoitra. Make dinner."

"What?!" He gasped, shocked and appalled to even think of himself as cooking. "That is a-"

"Unless you want to be dinner. That is fine by me." Tia let the side of her mouth curl up a in a tiny smile. "I would not mind eating your little brain; spread on a nice cracker. With some garlic, maybe"

"Fine!" Nnoitra screamed, throwing his hands into the air. "I'll make food!"

* * *

"On second thought…" Grimmjow stared at the odd looking soup in front of him. What were those things sitting in the broth? All kinda chopped up into tiny pieces that floated on the surface. ""I am not sure sure this was…a good idea to let Nnoitra cook."

Tia picked up the small plastic straw and gently slid it through her hollow mask. "Tastes…fine to me."

"Yeah." Nnoitra did not bother to even use silverware, drinking out of the small bowl like it was a cup. "Tastes great. I told you so."

"Yes." Szayel muttered, starting at the odd soup that had been placed in front of him. "I suppose."

"Oye, don't just stare at it, eat it."

"And…" Szayel carefully poked at his soup, as if it were alive. "What if I don't want to?"

"Szayel." Tia cut in, "Just eat it and don't make a fuss."

She watched a scowl cross his face before he dug in, making a curious face as he tasted it. "Rather… Salty."

"Yeah." Nnoitra grinned, loving salt. "It's the best. You know, this is what I'd make when I was out fighting Hollows for days on end. It really lasts for a good three days and is a great source of protein."

"As much as cat food?" Grimmjow asked, still disappointed he was yet to get his hands on that damn can. "Although, like you, I don't eat it all the time. You know, just like on a salad."

"Weird." Szayel snickered at the idea of replacing croutons with dried cat food. "However, I must say Nnoitra, this is not too bad. Edible."

"Cool. I mean, it is rather an acquired taste."

"Really." Tia was sure salt was not an acquired taste.

"Yeah…" Nnoitra paused to finish off what was left of his soup, "I tried to make this for a group of hollows I went hunting with once-I just ate them in the end anyhow 'cause they were all weak as hell- and they did not seem to like the beetles."

Tia leaned back in her chair as Grimmjow and Szayel sent soup flying across the table.

"What?!" They screamed, making her wince.

"What the hell are you trying to do?!" Szayel demanded of Nnoitra who yawned. "Poison us?!"

"Nah, I just-"

"That is it!" Grimmjow yelled, standing up, "I am never going to-Oh… I don't feel so good."

"Neither do I. If you will excuse me." Szayel stood up and quickly left table as well; leaving Tia to witness the grin that crept onto Nnoitra's face. Happy as could be. "Don't think you are going to never cook again. Making those two sick only made me realize farther, how sexist you are. So, from now on, you shall learn to cook and clean."

"What?!" Nnoitra screamed, " You can't do that to me, you-"

"Yes I can." Tia crossed her arm and glared at him with her cold green eyes. "It is cook every meal for us properly or take orders from the Glass Tube and Szayel who will be ranking higher than you if you try kill us with your horrid cooking. Or leave the apartment uncleaned. Your lessons start now. As I am putting you in charge of taking care of the two you purposely made sick."

* * *

Author's Note: Hehe. I kinda love Tia. Not taking Nnoitra's comments or attitude. Anyhow, if you are ever lost in the wild, don't eat beetles as they are in fact poisonous. Except to Nnoitra who seems to be able to down them with no problem, being a semi-preying Mantis who eats a lot of different for Tia, she's shark and I am sure a shark would not be bothered by a few Beetles.


	22. Yammy's First Good Idea

"Just push the damn wheelchair." Ulquirrora ordered Starrk who was beginning to fall a sleep at the corner again. "Or I am going to be upset with you."

"And this was your idea." Starrk replied, kinda liking watch the charade from afar. "You have hands, roll the wheelchair that that explosion at McDonald's put you in. 'Cause I ain't pushing you around since I'm the first."

Ulquiorra tried to turn his head in the neck brace around to give him a cold look. "You are so cruel."

* * *

"ARRG! My eyes!" Aaroniero screamed after Yammy finally turned the television off. "Burned by Subway ads! ARRGG!"

"I like Craig…" Yammy declared for the fifteenth time that evening. "He's very smart…."

"Right! Then why don't you just go to Hollywood and leave me alone?!" Aaroniero screamed, his brains turned to mush by the hours of television.

"Okay." Yammy reached over and opened the bottom drawer of the nightstand. "I'll need this."

Aaroniero gasped as the big lug pulled a pearl necklace out and put it in his pocket. "Hey! Wait!" Aaroniero cried, watching Yammy head to the hotel room door. "I was only-"

"Kidding…" He muttered after the door shut with a loud slam.

* * *

Author's Note: Yammy leaving for Hollywood came out of the blue truly. And now, they may have to go save him at some point.


	23. Our Fabulous Teacher, Jaquez Clouseau

Grimmjow slowly made his way down the junior school corridor, hoping he looked human.

Human in the meaning of being alive.

Due to the horrible dinner, he and Szayel were wake and sick all night and so no one got any sleep at all.

Not even Tia whom Grimmjow swore could sleep through anything.

He caught a glimpse of his new appearance in the glass of the bathroom mirror. He stopped inside to make sure that his hair was actually blonde or if he were dreaming.

"And of course not..." Grimmjow ran his fingers through the white blonde hair of his gigai to style it as usual. Catching a glimpse of the blue watch on left arm which functioned the same as the pink one worn by Szayel. "How is it, I have a strange feeling that Tia likes blonde hair. Granted, her's is more yellow...and I am sure glad that my hair style is the same and my eyes are still their brilliant blue. Now..." He took an second glance in the mirror before continuing to the Principal Sandra's office down the hallway. "Hello, I am here for the interview for the new-"

"Right." The man behind the secretary desk pointed to the door down the hall. "In there, she's waiting to see you..."

Grimmjow smiled a little, "Jaquez. Jaquez Grimm." Damn, he was smart.

"Of course. Good luck."

"Thanks." Grimmjow turned and headed towards the Principal's office where after knocking gently, entered.

"Hello, Jaquez." Principal Sandra greeted him as he sat. "I am so glad you came. As you know, our last teacher up and left on us. I can assure you, however that the children are well behaved, the last teacher was the problem. So, after a swift talk, she left."

"I understand." Grimmjow sat back in the chair. He might actually like this job. His boss seemed nice enough.

"And when can you start?"

He shrugged as he glanced at the clock. "Anytime."

"Wonderful. How about today? The first class is in ten minutes."

"Great. I don't have any curri-"

"You don't have to use any material today." Sandra said with a smile, "Just go in there an introduce yourself and talk to the kids. We will talk afterwards about what you plan to teach."

"Sounds like a deal. I don't have a phone number right now." Grimmjow told her, "Just moved in you know… So I'll come back here after class."

"All right." Sandra glanced up at the clock, "I will see you in about forty-five minutes then."

* * *

"Come on." Nnoitra tried again, determined to get Szayel to say anything to him. "I didn't mean what I said, okay? I am sorry I got mad at you, damn it!"

Still nothing from Szayel who was starting out the window of the apartment, ignoring him.

"Just talk! Yeah, I know it's my fault that you got sick and all… But that was my nice new scarf I stole from Grimmjow, you barfed all over."  
Still nothing.

What was wrong? Szayel was better now, shouldn't he be thankful to Nnoitra for taking care of both of them, instead of giving the silent treatment. "Come on! I am sorry about that dinner. Okay? I won't like try to kill you anymore."

Damn! Szayel was too good that this tactic!

"No. I'm serious here." Nnoitra continued, just wanting someone to talk to him. Tia left that morning to apply for a job as a bartender at a local pub and departed without even a 'morning.' Which is what she usually said to Nnoitra. "It's scary when you're quite! I have no idea what you're thinking, Szayel! I can't take it anymore! Gaaah!"

* * *

"Hello class." Grimmjow walked into room 205 where the children had already taken their seats and taken to talking loudly among themselves. "Hey, hey! Quiet down!"

After a few minutes, they finally did as they were told.

"Hello again. I am you new History teacher." Grimmjow picked up the white board marker, "My name is Mr. Jaquez. And-"

"Like Jaquez Clouseau!"The kid in the back of the class blurted out.

"Yeah." Grimmjow laughed, not sure who the heck that was, but went along with it anyhow. "So I'll be here for a while so-you in the back of the class, stop passing notes please."

Grimmjow had to be completely honest with himself. It was not that he was bad teacher, he just never taught human children before. In Hueco Mondo, he was in charge of teaching Numeros Arrancar (The Numbers 11-down) the basics.

And as he stared at the class of twelve-year-olds who were beginning to become restless again, Grimmjow decided to teach them in the same way.

_Numeros, like children, have too much energy…. So… I'll just take them on a lot-a field trips… Heh. Yeah. I am so damn awesome!_

"Listen up, Nume-Kids!" Grimmjow said, tapping his fist on the table that sounded as if a human used ten times more force. "I have an important announcement."

"And what in the world is it?" A blonde haired girl in the front of the class asked. "Gonna give us homework?"

"…Not yet. I wanted to say…. Who is up for a field trip?"

The class fell silent. Their new teacher had to be joking. Or evil enough to pull their legs.

Grimmjow watched a hesitant hand creep into the air from the middle of the stunned class. "Yes? Did you have to say something…?"

"Jimmy. I'm Jimmy, sir." The boy with glasses and brown hair began. "Um… You don't really mean to take us on a field trip, do you?"

"Yep. I do." Grimmjow replied, a grin sliding onto his face. "Get your backpacks, we're going to the fair."

"Um, sir." Jimmy continued with out raising his hand. "We don't….have permission from our parents."

"Oh, yes. But that won't stop us from going to the park called outside, will it?"

"No, sir."

"Good." Grimmjow loved his job. It was so easy! Let the kids out and run around for forty-five minutes and enjoy themselves. "Let us go, then! And if anyone asks, we are researching how the…ancient people lived!"


	24. I'll Die Before I'll Cook!

"Come on!" Nnoitra screamed in Szayel's ear two hours of coaxing later. "Talk to me okay?! I can't stand it! I am sorry for everything! Whatever did to upset you! I'm sorry okay? Geez, I'm sorry that I kissed you, okay?!"

He watched Szayel slowly stand up and walk towards the door leading into hallway. "I must leave for rehearsal now or I will be late. And remember Tia wants this place clean when she gets back."

With this, Szayel left the apartment after changing the hair of his Gigai with a touch of the finger and headed into town where the theatre was located. He had to admit that Urahara was in fact a genius as all of their Gigai's hair could change to any color imaginable. When he reached the back doors, he paused to catch his breath. It was such a horrible tragedy that he was not in his Gigai when he ate that damn soup. Or he would have made it to the theatre on time.

Food was universal, unfortunately.

So his normal body was able to eat the soup and any other Human World food.

"Damn it, I hate Nnoitra so much…" Szayel half stumbled up the steps to the backdoor of the theatre and walked inside.

"Wow…" was the first thing he heard when he came on stage. "What happened to you?"

Szayel glared at Ned who was sitting in the audience, making a shiver run up the human's frail spine. "Don't talk to me."

"Whoa…" Ned grinned foolishly, "Someone got dumped! Watch out, folks! He bites!"

"No. I did not get dumped." Szayel replied, opening his script to the first page for the run-through beginning in a moment. "My incompetent roommate made dinner and I was up sick with food poisoning last night if you must know."

"Eek." He watched Ned make another strange Human face. "What was it? Meatloaf? My mum has no clue when it comes to bad meat. Really spoiled last Christmas."

"It was an unfortunate incident with soup. Don't ask me." Szayel added as Ned opened his mouth. "Let us just rehearse shall-Christy, can you please not eat that sandwich right now?"

She glanced down at the wonderful dinner she was holding in her hands. "Um… Sure?"

"T…t..thank you." Szayel was honestly grateful, "It wasn't making me feel so well. Shall we move on to the run through?"

"Of course." Omar was sitting in the front row to just watch the production from the Audience standpoint. "And…the glasses, please?"

"Yes." Szayel reached a hesitant hand up to his face and pulled the glasses of his Gigai off his face.

For a moment, Szayel wondered if he were to disappear. Causing him to freeze in a panic as he no longer felt the weight on the bridge of his nose.

* * *

Tia walked into the apartment with a smile on her face. She had gotten the job with no problem at all. Her new sweet face must of had to do with it.

"Damn frickin' hot plate! I hate your guts, Tia!"

The smile was wiped right off her face as the only wooden spoon came flying her way. "What the hell do you think your doing?!" Tia screamed, seeing the box of mac and cheese she bought for dinner spilled all over the floor. The butter melting in grimy window and the small jar of milk she haggled for, half empty. "What are you trying to pull here?!"

"Nothing!" Nnoitra yelled back, hating his new stupid job. "I'm just trying to cook and you're the one who should be-"

He fell to the floor as Tia kicked him in the shin. "No! I am not supposed to be cooking! You are!"

Nnoitra tried his best to grin as she towered over him, "I mean, you-"

"Don't give me that crap!" She reached down and picked him up off the floor by the back of his shirt and dragged him over to the boiling pot of water. "See?!" She thrust the wooden spoon into Nnoitra's hand, "See?! You stir the water! You got that?!"

"There is no way I'm cooking!" Nnoitra protested, trying to break out of her grasp. "I quit this job!"

"You can't quit this job!" Tia grabbed his other arm as his other slipped out of her grasp. "I'm gonna make you cook it if is the last thing I DO! Because you are the biggest sexist jerk I've ever met! Do you hear that?!"

"Well it will be the last thing you'll do 'cause I'll die before I'll cook!"

"You're already dead!" Tia screamed, smashing her hard head into his. Sadly, it only gave both of them sudden headache as Nnoitra's head was as hard as rock. "And farther more! If I don't see you cooking in five seconds, you are going to make me to have to something I did not want to do!"

"Like what?! You know I've defeated the third Espada before!" Nnoitra bragged, still pleased with himself for planning Neliel's demise so well, (When in truth, Szayel was the brains behind the project.) "And now that I'm stronger, I'll have no problem defea-What are you doing…?"

Instead of attacking, Tia pulled out out stolen cellphone from her sweatpants pocket. And now had it up to her ear. What in the world was she doing?

"Hello?" Tia said in her sweet human voice. "I would like to talk with Romeo, please? I assume he's there. I know, he's in rehearsal… but tell him it's rather urgent. Tell him Tia's on the phone. Yes. Thank you."

Nnoitra watched her wait silently, suddenly fearing the end. He was going to be a little doll with tasty insides for Szayel to eat between scenes! Tia would take away Santa Theresa so he would never stand a chance!

"Hello?" Szayel asked, picking up the phone in the box office of the theatre, "What in world do you want?"

"Don't talk to your superior like that!" Tia snapped. Already at the end of her line with Nnoitra.

"Yes miss. What may I do for you?" Szayel laughed nervously for the first time in his life.

"In the theatre, I assume they have a seat and some duct-tape."

"I don't know. I could ask. What do you need it for?"

Tia glanced at Nnoitra with a smile on her face. She could feel him slightly shaking in her grasp. "We need dinner."

"And what does-"

"Just get it and bring it here now!" She screamed, making Szayel wince and hold the phone away from his ear. "That's an order!"

"Yes. I understand." He handed the phone back to William who was making ready for next evenings' opening. "Here you go…Sorry about that…."

"Think nothing of it…" William muttered, watching Romeo creep away into the theatre again. "My pleasure."

Szayel was not sure how he was going to get out of their last rehearsal, but if he didn't he'd have to take orders from Aaroniero. There was no doubt that Tia would be cold enough to ask Lord Aizen to demote him.

"Excuse me." He walked over to where Omar was sitting in the audience, watching the real Queen Gertrude on stage. "Can I speak with you?"

Omar looked up from the script he had to make sure that everything went smoothly. After some bumpy scenes, he gave up trying to be the audience. "What is it?"

"I…I kind of have to leave for like, ten minutes. Do you have any duct tape around here?"

"What do you…" Omar could not believe what he was hearing. "We are at the last rehearsal and you want to go home?"

"I…I have to go home." The thought of listening to Aaroniero's voices for the rest of eternity made a shiver creep into Szayel's shoes. "You see…"

Damn it. How was he going to explain this? And how in the world did he keep getting himself into such tight places?!

"No. You can't go home right now." Omar whispered, wondering what kind of actors he got for this profession production. "You're on in twenty minutes and I am not stopping the show!"

Szayel opened his mouth to scream at the director who would not be the one to make sure that Aaroniero had all his rubber ducks and bath toys in the right order on the side of the bath. Or the one who would have to follow him around Heuco Mundo for days on end, when a thought crossed his mind. "All right." Szayel said, hoping that these things learned fast. "I'm sorry. I'll go get ready for my scene."

"Good. Get back stage again!" Omar sat back in his chair and turned his attention to the stage once again.

Szayel closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Wow. What a save!

He turned and ran back stage to the green room where the other actors were listening to what was a happening on stage, via a monitor. He went over to sofa and grabbed his bag and dashed out to the back to the theatre before anyone would ask where he was going.

"Phew…" He set down his bag on the back steps where he entered the theatre hours ago. "That was close…Now it's time to play Roulette."

Szayel reached in the inside zipper pocket and pulled out the Soul Candy container. "Hopefully, one of these will work."  
He put the container up to his mouth once again and was shoved right out of his body a second later. "Ah…" Szayel smiled, enjoying the feeling of being free. He body felt so light, he knew he could fly. "And now I mus-"

"What in the world, Romeo?" Ned came over to his Gigai who was now practicing cheer-leading kicks.

_Damn! He must have followed me out here!_ Szayel watched him talk some more with the temporary soul. Rather perplexed at Romeo's sudden change of personality. _As long as he's not stupid enough to-_

Ned picked up the soul candy jar.

"No! No! No!" Szayel screamed, watching him examine the container. "Put that down! Don't-"

But it was too late.

Ned, the dear human actor, tried Soul Candy.

* * *

Author's Note: Oh Goodness. I did not see this one coming either. It's gonna be interesting... Ned is going to be in company of a few very angry and hungry Espadas. I fear for him. Honest.


	25. The Luckiest Hollow In The World!

_Oh… no. No…_Szayel thought, watching Ned walk away from his body, not noticing it behind him. _This is bad. Very bad. I'm horribly hungry too!_ "This does not make life easy!"

"What?"

"Oh…Shit." Szayel muttered, as Ned turned around. "You can see me."

"Um… Yeah?" Ned was not sure what he was talking about. It was isn't like he was some kinda ghost or something. "Wait… I thought you had black hair a minute ago and-Oh, my-I'm dead!" he screamed, pointing at his body that was laying a few feet away.

"No.. No…" Szayel sighed, watching the temporary soul make Ned's body stand up. "You are not dead yet."

"Don't try and humor me, Romeo!"

"I wasn't." Szayel replied, not understand what he was talking about. "As long as that chain is attached you are not dead. Someone around here can put you back." He yawned as he watched Ned freak out over his chain of fate in his chest. "And now…" Szayel gently fixed his naturally pink hair with is fingers. "I must find myself duct-"

"If I'm a ghost, you're one too!" Ned finally realized after what took his tiny human brain five whole minutes. "Then… How?!" He pointed to 'Romeo' who was teaching his own body to ballroom dance. "And… and your clothes are…interesting! Are you an angel?! Angels wear white!"

"…Hardly." Szayel laughed a little at this idea. "I wan-"

"And what is that sound?!" Ned screamed, hearing a far of deep-pitched scream not so far away.

Szayel glanced over his shoulder at the building around the theatre. "Just a few lowly hollows. Nothing to worry about, honestly."

"H…Hollows?" What in the world were those?!

"I don't feel like explaining…." Szayel said, walking over to Ned who he now had to baby sit for who knew how long. If he let Ned get eaten by Hollows, Hamlet would not go on and he'd be out a a job and Tia would personally kill him. "Just stick with me and you will be fine."

"Great… and just great and wait! You're wearing your glasses?! I thought you-"

"Yes, Ned. I took the glasses off of the body I was wearing. The one over there doing ballet. However… Never mind! Just come with me." Before Ned could protest any farther, Szayel grabbed his arm and took step forwards.

And his foot just fell to the ground.

The world did not slide by, morphing into another scene.

"Wait, what?" Szayel gasped, looking around.

"What's what?" Ned asked, becoming a little more worried as the hollow's, whatever it was, next scream sounded closer.

"I can't…" Szayel bent down and lifted the hem of his skirt. And there it was. The evil pink watch he strapped to his ankle to make sure that it was hidden on stage. "And since I don't want to deal with detection.. I suppose we will just have to walk."

"Yea… Wait a minute…" Ned paused as he realized it, "Why are you wearing a dress?"

"No. It is a top and skirt!" Szayel snapped, hating the idea of having to walk when he could have used sonido like any other Espada. "And stop talking for it is making me more hungry than I am right now!"

"What do-"

"Shut up!" He grabbed Ned's hand and dragged him back into the theatre where the show was continuing. "I have to hurry now because you are a stupid little human!"

"What do you mean? You're a human ghost too!"

"No, I am not. Shut up your face before I eat you!"

"You wouldn't really eat me…." Ned laughed at the threat, amused by Romeo's grouchiness. "Would you?" He added for safe measure.

"Like hell I would. Now shut up!"

"Eeeei!" Ned screamed as Szayel dragged him around the theatre unnoticed by everyone else. "Heeelllp! Guys! Help me! Romeo wants to eat me! Help me! Help me!"

"They can't hear you." Szayel told him, finally finding the duct-tape in the back of the prop room. "Shut up and just follow along!"

"If you aren't human, then what are you?!" Ned cried, bumbling down the back steps of the theatre again ten minutes later, "I- Oh. What. Is. That?"

Szayel glanced up and his eyes met with that of a massive hollow with glowing green eyes. "Out of the way!" he yelled, not wanting to have to talk with any of the lesser of his kind.

"No… no… I eat the human… and you." The hollow tried his best to string words together in cohesive sentence. "You look tasty… pink things, always tasty."

"Get real." Szayel rolled his eyes. What idiot hollow was this…thing? "I said, move aside."

"No… I eat!"

"No. You go away." Szayel pointed towards the left. "And-"

The Hollow bent down and screamed in his face and Szayel just stared back blankly. " Are you finished? Good. Do you know who I am?"

"Yes! Tasty!"

"No." Szayel slid his glasses up the bridge of his nose in annoyance. "I am one of you friendly neighborhood Espada."

"Right… That crap." The hollow laughed loudly and grabbed Szayel off the ground and into air so he could see his pretty food better. "I eat you now!"

Szayel sighed and almost wanted to fall asleep; this was so boring. "Hardly so. The name is Szayel. Put me down."

"Szayelapporro?"

"Yes. That's the-" The hollow dropped his food on the ground and backed away before falling on his face. "No, no! Have mercy, Lord Szayel! Don't eat me! Kill me swiftly!"

"Wonderful. You know your place." Szayel stood up and brushed the dirt off his white clothes. Ignoring Ned who was now hiding behind the steps of the theatre as best as he could. "As such, all will be forgotten if you assist me."

"Anything! Eat my arm, my leg! Just don't kill me!"

"Today is your lucky day." Szayel told the hollow, "I won't eat you. Give me and this… thing." He pointed to Ned, "a ride."

"Yes, yes, anywhere!" The hollow continued to grovel on the ground in front of him.

"What did he mean by Lord Szayel?" Ned asked five minutes later after the two of them climbed onto the Hollow's back. "I mean-"

"Shut up, human." Szayel yelled, not putting up with this questions any farther.

"But I-"

"Yeah. You shut up." The hollow said as he made a right turn onto another street. "Obey Lord Szayel!"

"…Ah…Okay…?" He was just going to ask about all this people eating and lord-ing going around.

"And now make a left at the ot-"

"What the hell are you doing?! Trying to run me…." Grimmjow looked up from where he was reading the _Idiot's Guide to European History_. "Oh. It's one of you."

The Hollow was silent. Was that who he thought it was?! Wait…Tall, shaggy hair-

"Lord Grimmjow! I'm such a fan! I have all your trading cards!"

The Hollow fell to the ground, sending Ned and Szayel flying into the air. "Lord Grimmjow! Lord Szayel said he won't eat me! But I don't mind if you take an arm!"

"Great… A fan." Grimmjow put his head in his hands. "What a day."

"Hey!" Szayel cried, sky walking over to the two of them. "What about our ride back to apartment, Hollow?!"

"Um…" The Hollow looked from Szayel to his favorite Espada. "Um…I take you!" He screamed, seeing Szayel lick his lips. "Now!"

* * *

"Oh my gosh!" The hollow screamed, looking in through the sixth floor window. "Lady Tia!11!"

"And now both of us are obsolete." Grimmjow muttered to Szayel who sitting on the couch in the apartment next to him. "Oh well…That's stardom for you."

"I don't care." Szayel glanced at Nnoitra who was now duct-taped to a chair, making dinner. (Finally.) "We just have to get Ned back into his body and make him forget this whole thing."

"Forget?!" Ned cried, walking over to them after figuring out all that Nnoitra said under the tape was swearwords. "But you're some kinda royalty- prince even of…." He glanced out the window and the weird white masked creature who Tia was talking with, "Those things…"

"Hollows." Szayel said, "And you shouldn't know about them. So. We are going to erase your memory even if you don't want us to."

"But why? What's the harm?"

"The harm is called," Grimmjow hated to say it, but it was true. "He's really hungry and will eat you."

"…You… You weren't kidding?!" Ned screamed, backing away from the couch. "But… But… I'm your fellow actor! You wouldn't eat one of us!"

"I honestly don't care who you are." Szayel scowled at Nnoitra who was trying to escape his Tia-built prison. "Make dinner Spoon-head or you are my dinner!"

"And so, I am here to help!"

Grimmjow suddenly saw Urahara step off the window ledge and into the apartment. "Thank goodness I came in time. And I caught him." He held up Ned's limp body with a hand. "This of course will come at-"

Tia drew her sword she had strapped on her back.

"No cost." He quickly fixed his error. "And Ned here, won't remember anything at all."

"Great." Grimmjow was thankful someone could do something about this mess. "Do it quickly before Szayel here, gets too hungry."

"Right away!" in less than five minutes, Urahara put Ned's soul back and applied three magic mist sprays just in case. "And now he should be fine."

"Oh…" Ned muttered, waking up a few minutes later. "I smell food, ma. Wait… where am I? Who are you?"

'You'd better get going." Tia said with a smile, "Romeo is waiting for you with a cab outside."

"Yea… I remember. We came back here to give you duct tape…."

"Yes. And it was very much appreciated." Tia escorted Ned to the door. "Now get going, you should be on stage in five."

"Of course…"

"Tia."

"Yes. You are welcome, Tia. I'll see you again sometime."

"Sure." Tia smiled and closed the door. Once she had, she let out a long sigh. "I am glad that is over."

"It is a sad reality, really…" Urahara said, his face more solemn than usual. "It happens too often to be funny. I talked to the people at the Soul Candy company and there is no way to put a safety lock on the container. If it had one, Soul Reapers could not use it in an emergency."

"Understandable." Tia crossed her arms and walked over to watch Nnoitra stir the tomato soup on the hotplate. "However, as some humans are more attuned to our world, will Ned remember anything?"

"No chance at that." Urahara took his hat off, "I did not sense any Riatsu from him. You are all safe a sound. As for what you are planning, I don't like… for I don't know… but that is business isn't it?"

"Yes. It is. Thank you." Tia casually kicked Nnoitra in the shin to make him continue his work. "And as such, would you care for a little soup before you leave?"

"My pleasure. A little payment is still payment!"

* * *

Author's Note: I love the Hollow! He's such a fan! (Might have to have him back in later chapters or something...) I was laughing while I wrote this and don't worry, Ned really won't remember anything at all. Hehe... Poor Nnoitra tied to his chair. Not even Espadas can escape Duct-tape!

And if only I had Grimmjow Trading Cards...


	26. One Lost Little Fishtank

A month later, Grimmjow walked in to room 205 as he did at eight every morning. Nothing strange had happened after the incident with Ned or did the actor remember anything and it really made Grimmjow feel good.

They were all keeping undercover quite well. Sure Nnoitra ate too many bugs and Szayel a little too much honey… but, that was life!

"Hello, Class!" He said as he set his books down on the table.

"Hello Mr. Jaquez!" The class said back with actual enthusiasm. All of them were thrilled to be in this class and everyone who wasn't, was envious.

In Jimmy's personal opinion, Mr. Jaquez was the best teacher in the world as the only one who understood that they could not sit at their desks all day long.

"What are we doing today?" Brenda asked before rasing her hand. "Something awesome like that aquarium trip last week to study the history of the.. Somethings."

"Nah…" Grimmjow smiled. He loved teaching. If he was not a full time Espada, he would take up this venture. "Today we are going to museum, remember?"

"Yay!" The class cried in unison. Even though the museum was as boring as heck, it beat sitting in class.

"Will we have to have a tour guide though?" Ivan asked from where he was on the right in the back. Today he was dressed up as a punk and would come the next day in a tie and sports coat. "'Cause I don't wanna have to listen to their boring lecture."

"Me neither." Grimmjow agreed, almost falling asleep last time himself. "But i am afraid we are going to have to take one with us. The school won't let me cart you around a museum with out learning anything...oh and bring your parents to school tomorrow so you can show them all you worked on so far."

An hour later, Grimmjow walked into the museum with a group of kids trailing behind him and a second teacher escort.

"And so, here we are." He announced after asking if packed lunches or money for were brought. "And this here, is our-"

He stopped short before the mother word of mother words came flying out of his mouth. What the...was...he doing here? Or they more for that matter.

The Museum Guide, however, was not so polite. "What the hell are you doing here?!" Aaroniero yelled in a panic. When he took this job, he took it so he could make a living after Yammy ran off to Hollywood and Barraggan and Zammori disappeared. "If you start bossing me aro-"

Grimmjow put his hand over Kaien Shiba's mouth. "Excuse me. We just want a tour. Not a reunion. That, I will discuss with you later. Kids, meet my idiot kid brother."

"HI!" The class chorus while Jimmy added, "you need better manners! I hardly ever bloody cuss in public."

Grimmjow raised his brow. "Okay...I think we should just get a move on with the tour."

Five minutes later when Aaron was talking about an ancient Chinese vase, Jimmy tapped his teacher on the shoulder. "Hey."

"Hey, what? It's Mr. Jaquez to you."

"Yeah. Sorry. Mr. Jaquez. I just wanted to ask...how do you know him."

"Who?"

"Aaron. You two aren't really, brothers are you?"

"Nope. We..." What were they? Never friends...foes more like...but they were on the same side...kinda. "It just know him. Just like you just know people...Yeah."

"I if I may, you don't seem to get along so well. Not that everyone you know has to be your best friend, but you two just... It was like this fight going on silently."

"Man, you're observant, Jimmy. We know each other, we just don't get along well. I think that's enough for now."

"Yea. I agree." Jimmy grinned and put his hands in his pocket. "So, when's lunch?"

"Half an hour from now…" Grimmjow yawned as it was about time for his afternoon nap which he had to forgo for the teaching job. Which with the way Aaroniero was talking ended up being a whole hour. As the stupid heads in his glass tube could never decided who would get to talk about what.

Which thankfully, only changed the tone of voice sightly, so the Humans did not realize the change at all.

"Hey," Aaroniero grabbed Grimmjow's arm as the other teacher, Thea was trying to calm the kids down after she told them it was lunch time.

"Can we talk?"

" About what?" Grimmjow glanced over his shoulder to make sure the kids were still busy. "What do you need? I don't have any money."

"We don't want money." A higher pitched voice said, letting more of the sound slip through the illusion of Kaien Shiba. "We want a place to stay."

"I'm not the one to-"

"Please!" The deeper voice begged, grabbing his shoulder. "We don't have any more money and I don't want to sleep on the street! And the homeless shelter was dreadful!"

"…I'll give you that." Grimmjow didn't care that Aaroniero had to sleep with the bums. He had to put up with and settle the battles of the Old Married Couple for the last three months, which were far more of annoyance. "But, I don't know."

"Why not?!"

"Because, I would have to call and ask Tia."

"Yes, yes! She's nice to us!"

Grimmjow wanted to say that she didn't care about him when Thea came over. "We are ready to head to the cafe. Hello." She turned her attention to Aaroniero, "I forgot to introduce myself. I'm Thea Martin. The science-"

"Tia?!" Aaroniero cried, throwing his arms around her. "I missed you!"

Grimmjow watched Thea freak out while Aaroniero continued to hug her. He sighed and put his head in his hands… How could this get any worse?


	27. Pasta Night With Nnoitra!

"Tia is going to kill me." Grimmjow muttered, walking out of the police station followed by Aaroniero who was silent. After nearly strangling Thea with his love, Aaroniero was swiftly arrested. "But...I can't just leave you in there. Aizen said we have to look out for each other. You know you aren't bad, you just are..." Grimmjow looked Aaroniero up and down. "You. Weird, strange and kinda annoying... but sightly adorable at times."

"You really think so?" Aaroniero asked, cheered slightly by his words. "I mean...we don't try to be...but... you know we love to talk."

"Yeah, I know and some of the others would not be so happy if you stayed with us... but, i'm gonna invite you anyway, if you can cook."

"Kinda. But you really want me to come?!" No one had ever been so nice to him before. What was he to say?!

"Yeah. Let's go." Grimmjow said, hailing a cab off the street. "Just don't expect a warm welcome."

* * *

"Was that the worst show ye-" Szayel froze halfway through the door of the apartment. "What the hell are you here!"

"I..." Aaroniero wasn't sure what to say. "Was invited."

"Who?!" Szayel walked over to the talking Fish Tank, his day ruined by this idiot. "Who the hell invited you he-"

"I did."

He glanced behind him and saw Grimmjow sitting on the couch, reading. "Why?! How could you?!"

"Stop acting like a Drama Queen. I talked with Tia and she let Aaroniero stay. Hell, he knows how to cook."

Szayel gasped and let go of the collar of Aaroniero's jacket to stare at Grimmjow in shock. "What? Oh… my…" He turned his attention back to the 'Fish Tank', desperation in his voice, "Make me food! I AM STARVING!"

"Yeah, whatev." Nnoitra walked in, a scowl on his a face and an angry Tia behind him. "Let fish-man cook."

"No. You are to cook and clean AND NOT try to escape!" on her way back from the bar that evening, she found Nnoitra trying to catch a cab out of town. "If I catch you escaping and not cooking, I will eat you."

"Right, right…" Nnoitra walked past Aaroniero and headed over to the kitchen, "What do you want me to make?"

"Food."

"I don't have any food. But…If you go and get me some spaghetti, I'll make it."

Tia froze with her mouth open. What? What was this she was hearing? Nnoitra would make food willingly for the first time in a month?

"Um…Ah…okay. Grimmjow, go get pasta."

"Pasta?" He said, looking up from his book. "What is-"

"Noodles!" Tia screamed, pointing towards the open door. "Fast! Before he changes his mind! Go!"

Grimmjow dropped his book and bounded over the couch and ran as fast as his feet would take him down the steps and over the railings to the store.

* * *

Author's note: Yeah, why Nnoitra wants to cook has me wondering what he is up to. Seriously.

And this next week, I may not post as much as I am going to go back through this story and fix some things. Just wanted to give you notice if a chapter is gone or down for awhile.


	28. An Interlude

"Gin, what in the world is taking so long?!" Aizen complained from his throne in the middle of Las Noches. "I swore I ordered the Espada to leave for the Human World, did I not?! I called them here…" He glanced at his watch, "Six minutes ago!"

"Well, well." Gin stared at the doorway of the throne room, waiting as well, "Many of the Espada are very busy creatures… give them one more minute, shall we?"

"No, no!" Aizen cried, hating waiting. He waited two hundred or so years to be here, there was no way he was waiting any longer. Just as he was about to explode, someone walked through the doorway. "Oh… hello Ulquiorra. Do you know how disappointed I am in you?"

"No. I don't." He replied blankly.

"You are supposed to be gone! Away! Not here!"

"Yes, Lord Aizen." The Fourth Espada sighed, "I am sad to say that the others have not left as someone changed our calendars in our rooms."

"What?!" Aizen could not believe the stunt that was pulled by only one person and one person only. "Grimmjow! Get in here now! You too Szayel! I am upset with both of you! And if I have to wait I w- Good thank you for coming on such short notice." He stared down at Szayel who was messing with his pink hair and Grimmjow who was yawning. "What is this?! Why did you not put the trip on our cellphone Calendars, Granz?"

"Um… Like I care. Those things are so ugly." Szayel said, "I thought perhaps it would be better if I made them beautiful first."

"Who cares what they look like!" Aizen screamed, "Grimmjow! Why did you change the calendars in our rooms?!"

"I.. I donno." Grimmjow stammered, not sure if this was going over well. "'Cause I did."

"And why did you, Ulquiorra who is so reliable, fix this error?!"

Ulquiorra blinked and pulled out a clipboard. "I do not know. It was not on the list that I made."

"Then someone must have changed that list, no?!"

"Yes, sir."

"Lord Aizen!"

"Lord Aizen, sir." Ulquiorra fixed his statement, flipping through the papers.

"If I did not have it tattooed on my arm, I think you would all forget it! I am shocked with you, Ulquiorra. You never forget things."

"Yes. Naturally." For some reason, the Fourth Espada touched his nose as if he wore glasses. "However, Nnoitra hit me over the head. I suppose I forgot for that reason."

"Oh… So that how it went… Nnoitra!" Aizen screamed, his voice echoing in the throne room.

"Yeah? What do you want?" Nnoitra swaggered into the throne room, a grin on his face. "I was jus-"

"What do you think you are doing leaving an argument?!" A voice screamed, making him turn around to see Aaroniero trailing behind, his white mask over his face. "Now, if you hadn't been so rude to me in the hallway, I would not be yelling at you!"

"Geez…" Nnoitra grouched, "Give it up!"

"No!" Aaroniero cried, running up next to him. "Grimmjow, tell Nnoitra here that he should have listened to me."

"Oye…" Grimmjow muttered, stepping in between them. "Calm down you two. Now, both of you apologize. We shouldn't be fighting."  
Aaroniero sighed. "All right… I am sorry. Now can we move on?"

"Yeah… Sure." Nnoitra laughed, "We can."

"And now it's what do you need, Lord Aizen!" The man on the throne yelled after a good five minutes of silence. Waiting. And waiting to hear his Espadas asked what the problem was.

"Yes." Aaroniero began, turning to the throne. "What is it you need?"

"Lord Aizen."

"Lord Aizen?"

"First off, did I call…." Aizen paused and stared at his Ninth Espada. Were his eyes playing tricks on him? "Aaroniero… is it me, or are you… shorter?"

"Yes, Lord Aizen. I am."

"Oh… Absorbed a very short person have we?"

"Yes, Lord Aizen."

"Now…" He had no idea what to say. All of his Espadas looked oddly different. Grimmjow had a sight haircut, Szayel looked shorter, as did Nnoitra and Ulquiorra's hair was a little blue-ish and.. His two-hundred year-old eyes must have been playing tricks on him. "Why are you still here?!"

* * *

Author's note: Hell yes I did! Think about it.


	29. Rapunzel, The Shovel Murder

"Yeah…" Nnoitra loved Grimmjow.

All for one reason.

He never made pasta before and so had no idea how much Nnoitra might need for dinner. So, he ended up buy a pound of dry pasta for five people. "And that makes… five pounds and who knew I would only need half a pound for last night's dinner? Heh… I am a frickin' genius."

He glanced behind him at his work that was spread across the old rickety table and the couch by now. So far, Nnoitra had made two pounds of pasta and complied them into what he had so far.

The only detail he was unsure of was, would it work.

Two hours later and still alone as everyone was away at work, Nnoitra finished his creation and walked over to the open window. The darn thing never shut and was quite a bother to those wanting to stay warm at night. "But… It's perfect!" He went over to the table and tied the end to one of the beams crossing the ceiling and threw the rest of it out the window where it disappeared. "Ah…freedom!"

A few blocks away, Szayel ran down the street towards the apartment. Some hollows were so rude! He glanced over his shoulder at the two that were tailing him and ready to eat dinner. Or what ever the next meal would be called. He ran into them on his way back from the theatre that afternoon after the matinee and they refused to obey him.

So, Szayel decided to run for it. Which was easier said then done as his Gigai was made for such things. "If I ever knew that I'd be running away from Hollows again, I would have said I were mad!" He skittered around another corner. "One more block to go!"

"I don't think so!" The Spider Hollow laughed, loving the pursuit. "I'm gonna suck all your blood out of your body. Jehnnen, you can have what's left."

"But, I wan-" The Owl Hollow complained.

"I'm the leader! What I says goes!"

_Yes!_ Szayel thought, running around the last corner. The two were still on his tail, but the argument slowed them down._ And now-shoot! There isn't a door on this side of the apartment building! _

"You're lunch!" Delara screamed, blocking the way he entered the alleyway.

Nnoitra rolled his eyes as he climbed out of the window. Hollows could be so loud and stupid. Once he was halfway out of the window, he grabbed onto the marvelous rope he created out of pasta and began to climb down six stories.

"Why won't you listen to me?!" Szayel yelled, he had enough of these two lowly creatures. "I am Espada Octavo, Szayelapporro Gra-"

Nnoitra landed face down on the ground in the alleyway next to the apartment building. " That didn't work so well….At least it wasn't too hard on the ground."

"oooh…."

"Yeah, that's right… I-"

"...oooh… ow… my face…."

Nnoitra paused. Had someone just talked? "Yeah! I smashed your face in, stupid, loud hollow. Don't you asses know how to be quite?"

"No….ow… Nnoi….tra…."

He looked from the two Hollows standing in the alleyway. "That's my name… what do you want?"

"We want lunch!" Delara snapped, growing ever so impatient.

"…Yeah. I figured." Nnoitra sat up, rather hungry himself. "I mean, where is a good meal wh-"

"Get…off…me… Please… Pain… help…"

The voice spoke again! "What the hell do you want?!" The fifth Espada screamed at the small sound. "You-"

"No…me… Szayel… Ow…."

"What?!" Nnoitra leaped off the ground and indeed, there was Szayel. Flattened face first in the ground and covered in dust. "Oye! What the hell are you doing there?!"

"Ow…You…landed on…me…"

"Oh… That's why it was soft. Why didn't you say anything?!" Nnoitra screamed, realizing that he had been crushing him this whole time.

"….I was…." Szayel moaned, many of his bones broken upon impact. "Now… Pain…face…glasses…"

"Yeah. Right." Nnoitra laughed out loud in joy. His escape plan worked! He was a free man!

"No… Hollow…wanna… ow… eat….ow…me… save…"

"What? They wanna eat you?"

"Yes!" The large Owl cried, already tasting dinner on his tongue. "You landed on our dinner, grouchy!"

"Lunch…" Delara corrected. Could her fellow hollow not tell time at all?

"Wait." Nnoitra snickered, "you wanna eat, him?"

"Yes. And we won't wait forever."

"Don't you know who he is?" Nnoitra asked, knowing even if he were a stupid hollow, he would not try and eat an Espada.

"We don't care who he is. We're hungry!"

"And so am I!" Nnoitra yelled at them. "And I am the Fifth Espada! And I say that this one's mine."

"No way! It's mine! I don't buy into that Espada crap! We're all Hollows here!"

"Yeah. Right…" Nnoitra reached for his sword and found it missing. "Damn it! I left it upstairs!"

"….Oh…what ever…" Szayel groaned, "Just…make food."

"Food?" Nnoitra glanced behind him at the Eighth Espada who was still face down in the ground.

"Yes… I want…Hollow… for….dinn-ow!"

"Cool…do you have your sword? Theresa's upstairs."

"Yes… but… You kinda… ow…" Szayel knew he shouldn't have slid Fornicaras down his throat today. After that encounter with Ned and the other Hollow about a month ago, he thought he might as well bring it with him for emergencies. "You…Flattened…me."

"Yeah? So what, Szayel?" Sure he could fight these hollows with his fists, but a kitchen knife could not cut them up later for non-lethal soup.

"Well…" Szayel muttered, trying push himself off the ground with little success. "It's… Fonicaras is…in…my throat and… You…"

"Damn it! Why don't you just put it somewhere normal?!" Nnoitra asked, "And how the hell are you still talking?!"

"…I don't…know…"

"Can you move aside?!" Delara yelled, hating the slow dinning service around this part of town. "I am starving!"

"Nah…" Nnoitra sighed and picked up a old snow shovel leaning on the side of the building. "Then, since I don't have a sword, I'm gonna use this."

"Great…Nnoitra the…Shovel… Murder…" Szayel muttered, watching Nnoitra easily attack the two hollows with a simple human tool and in less than five minutes, he had a stack of hollow limbs to stand on. "Bravo."

"Yeah." Nnoitra grinned widely at his victory over the world. "Now that I have this… I guess… maybe cooking won't be so-AHH! Why did you just barf blood?!"

* * *

Author's Note: Yeah...that is Nnoitra did with the Spaghetti Tia made Grimmjow buy. On another note, I would like to thank I Love Lucy for the Pound a Person Gag.

Rapuzel let down your hair!

P.s. Kids, don't try any of this at home.


	30. Hollow Soup To Go

Grimmjow returned to the apartment around three-thirty to find Szayel laying on the couch with a pan sitting on his chest, looking rather pale while Nnoitra was chopping up Hollow meat and using every swear word in the book.

"What happened here?" Grimmjow asked, closing the door after Aaroniero walked in. The Ninth Espada returned from the Museum at the same time as Grimmjow left school and the two happened to meet at the first of the apartment building and walked up together.

"He fell on me." Szayel whispered, feeling another bone in his leg finish healing. His natural healing powers had begun to kick in after Nnoitra fell on him and oddly enough, they were healing his Gigai as well as his regular form. "Because he…was…trying to escape."

"Really…" Grimmjow rolled his eyes and hit Nnoitra on the back of the head with his history book. "Stop trying so hard, will you?"

"Yea, yea… Whatever. I am making soup for all of you stupid hungry people."

"Hell no." Grimmjow reached over and grabbed the pot of water off the hot plate. "You are not making soup again."

"Oye! I was working hard on that!" Nnoitra yelled as Grimmjow dumped the contents out the window. "And no, I wasn't trying to kill you!"

"Right."

"Honest!"

"And to be honest…" Szayel said, giving Aaroniero a look for the hell of it. "I was…wanting that soup."

"Why?!" What went on here while he was gone?! Had everyone lost their minds but he?

"It was…made of hollows…Rude creatures."

"Great." Grimmjow sighed, suddenly upset over what he had done with the soup. It wasn't everyday he got to eat his fellow hollows with a hint of pepper on top. "Tia is going to-"

The door opened and everyone froze. Oh no… They were all dead.

"What's up?" Tia asked as she walked in with a bottle of wine she took from work and a newspaper. "You all look like you're about to be eaten by a Menos Grade."

"Uh…" Grimmjow looked from Nnoitra to Aaroniero who was standing by the couch. None of them had no clue of what to do. "Hi, Tia… Want dinner?"

"Sure." She was about set her purse on the coffee table when she saw a bloody sword laying there. "And this is…?"

"Don't ask." Szayel said, not wanting to explain the events of earlier that day. After Nnoitra refused to help him off the ground after citing the time at the police station where he was in a similar situation, Szayel had to wait a good ten minutes before he could even begin to move.

After he climbed to his feet, Nnoitra made him walk all the way to the front of the building and up the steps with broken legs. Causing the simple fractures to become compound fractions where the bones began to cut through the skin. It wasn't until the third floor that Szayel convinced Nnoitra to carry him up the rest of the way. "And of course, he couldn't have been more impolite."

"Shut up!" Nnoitra yelled, having been having a great day until Grimmjow threw his soup out the window. "If I hadn't come and saved you, you would have been hollow lunch!"

"Fine." Szayel crossed his arms in annoyance."And if you hadn't fallen on me I wouldn't be-"

Aaroniero jumped as Szayel coughed up some more blood into the pan he was holding. "Eek!"

"Like this! And since you were so-"

"You two." Grimmjow hated to cut in, but he had to or things could take a turn for the worst. "Please, just calm down. Everyone here is tired and hungry and so we just have to figure out what to do for dinner and I have the best idea. Take out."

"No, no…" Tia scolded, unfolding the newspaper she brought home from the bar. "Take out is too expensive. I have a better Idea that everyone might enjoy and it has free food."

"Wow." Grimmjow grinned. He loved a free meal anytime. "Where is this free food?"

"At…" Tia turned the pages to where she saw the advertisement. "The beach. As long as we employ our collective acting skills, this will be no trouble at all. I ask you all put on your nicest clothes as we are going to the Zellman's wedding reception."


	31. A Little Fancy In a Blue Dress

"If we don't leave soon, we'll be late." Grimmjow announced, glancing at his watch and back at the door of the Apartment. Once all of the gentlemen had gotten dressed, Tia kicked them all out so she could change into her nice clothes for the occasion.

Grimmjow reached up and knocked on the door again. "Tia! Everyone else is waiting downstairs with a cab. Can you hurry-"

The door opened and he froze. His breath wished away by the wind.

There she was. Standing in the door way, wearing a one sleeve royal blue dress which cascaded to just above her knees. Her dark toned skin and brilliant yellow hair, glowing in the dimly lit hallway.

"…You…" Grimmjow stammered, unsure of how to express himself. "Look…beautiful."

Tia let a small smile caress her lips, slipping her arm in his. "Why thank you. Shall we be off then?"

"Y…Yes. I suppose we should be." He slipped his arm around her waist and the two began down the steps.

When they reached the cab, the Old Married Couple were fighting it out while Aaroniero was trying his best to make peace.

"Hey! Can you two just-"

"Why don't you just shut up?!" Nnoitra shoved the smaller Espada away. "I have a fight to finish here. And I, Nnoitra Gilga never loses!"

"Right." Szayel laughed in his face, "I can name ten times in which you've lost! One. When Neliel beat you up-"

"Don't go there! I mean, besides her!"

"You lost to me, no?" Szayel grinned ever so sweetly at his dearly beloved. "As I have conquered your cold heart."

"Hardly!" Nnoitra shot back, not wanting to talk about that right now. "Besides, I don't even have a heart!"

"Well, neither do I! I was just using the term in a-"

"Get in the cab." Tia ordered, walking up to the two of them. "And when we get to the reception, you can kiss and make up. End of story."

She watched the two of the grouch for a moment before giving up and doing what she ordered. "Good. Aaroniero, get in this cab and keep these two from fighting."

"Yes, miss." He nodded and crawled into the back of the cab, filling up the back seat completely.

The moment the Cab disappeared around the corner, Tia turned to Grimmjow who had been silent this whole time. "What are you waiting for? Call another one."

"Ye…yes. I will." He laughed nervously and began to wave down the next available cab. When a black cab pulled up to the curb, he opened the door for Tia and in no time, they were on their way.

"What has come over you?" Tia asked five minutes later as Grimmjow were still silent.

"Well…I…" He turned his attention to the world outside the window. She was right to be honest. He was always loud and never stopped talking for this long before. But, he…He just could not bring himself to talk with her.

"Is this happened due to the the small fact that you fancy me?"

"I don't fancy you!" Grimmjow yelled, a little to quickly.

"Oh…" Tia smiled, it was true. "You do."

"No I-"

"Look at your face."

Grimmjow glanced at himself in the review mirror of the cab, only to find his face red as roses. "Um… I… I just… had something to drink and-"

"Stop fooling yourself." Tia laughed for the second time in her life. Sending the sound of small wind chimes through the air. "You fancy me. Just admit it."

"All right." Grimmjow sighed. Ladies always wanted a confession…"I do fancy-"

Tia leaned forwards and kissed him.

* * *

"Wow…" Aaroniero staggered out of the cab and kissed the ground. "I'm alive! They didn't kill me! I can-"

Nnoitra stepped on his back, smashing his face into the ground. "Shut up already, you damn bug!"

"Ahhh!" Aaroniero cried, hating being the punching bag. "Why do you hate me?!"

"Because we can." Szayel laughed, kicking him as he walked past. "And besides, you are an idiot as you have two tiny heads in a stupid fish tank."

"But… I am so nice to all of-"

"Hardly." Nnoitra stepped over him and linked arms with Szayel and they walked off down the street together. Leaving Aaroniero in the dust as everyone else in the world did.

_Damn it! I'm the Ninth Espada! I should be treated better! Not like dirt, Aizen-sama! Please promote me! Please! I can't stand it any longer!_

Szayel and Nnoitra shared a grin as they heard screams of anguish echo behind them. Ah, how wonderful it was to crush those below, underfoot.

* * *

Her lips tasted like cinnamon, so tender and loving. Grimmjow lost all sense of time and place of the moment.

He never thought that one day he'd be so taken by Tia's beauty or anyone's for that matter. He was a lone Arrancar who wanted nothing better than to climb his way to the top of the food chain.

Yet, Fate had a funny way with all beings.

"What did you observe?" Tia inquired after their lips parted.

"I…I don't know." Grimmjow muttered. Suddenly realizing the jam he was in. "I mean, I suppose we should still be professional."

"Right." Tia crossed her arms, rather annoyed with his response. "Do you never live in the moment?"

"I suppose not."

"Well then, since I actually enjoyed kissing you, I am assuming that perhaps while we are down here, we should evaluate this relationship. No?"

"Yes. However, are we not here on a mission?"

"We are. And once that mission is finished, who knows who will be left standing." Tia said as she climbed out of the cab onto the sidewalk where Aaroniero was still screaming over rejection. "And as you are the only sane one besides myself, I am assuming that we would make a good pair. However, as-"

"I get your point." Grimmjow sighed and handed Tia her purse. "And…Yes. In the last few years, I have rather liked you and so…"

"Yes. Or no. Simple." Tia replied, stepping on Aaroniero's face with her high-heeled shoe as she walked over. "I know what you think of me."

"…Yes. I do like you very much and Tia Harribel, would you care to go out with me?"

"Thank you." She had to give it to him for coming right out with the simple question. "And the reply is yes. I will gladly enjoy your company."

* * *

Author's Note: Sorry for the Day of Wait! Life has been busy!

As for Grimmjow and Tia, it just happened. Hey, we get to see them go out on a date eventually! Yay! (Hopefully it won't be too much of a disaster.)


	32. A Notice From the Author

9/26/13 - I went back and edited Chapter 16 a long time ago and today I realized I posted the wrong content in that chapter. Sorry about that. The Document Manager gets me a little confused and so Hairball Coffee is back to what it is supposed to be. If not, I just updated it and will take about 30 minutes to fix itself.

I just got Notice that Chapter 21 and 24 are the same and I have just fixed that and that will take about 30 minutes and if any of you have better eyes than I do and catch another one, please PM me or leave a review.

I apologize for the gaps in the story these duplicates left. They will all be fixed in time.

And now, the story shall continue.

Thank you.

Your Author, Aceidia

_I just checked and the affected chapters are fixed and are right once more. Next time I will be more careful with replacing chapters after I make an edit. _

_I hope you enjoy the chapters that you missed. Thanks. _


	33. Code Red! Code Red! Abandon Ship!

"It is rather nice here…" Szayel observed quietly, looking around the covered tent on the beach he was sitting in with Nnoitra and Aaroniero. Over head, little lights on strings were draped across the inside of the tent and on the tables were little lanterns. "Don't you think?"

"Yeah." Nnoitra stated most articulately.

"It is rather… dark." Aaroniero summed up. "I like it."

Szayel sighed and rolled his eyes. "Do you two not have anything more to say about this glorious ambiance which surrounds us?"

Nnoitra shared a confused look with Aaroniero. "What's ambiance?"

"Geez. Never mind. Forget about it. " Szayel was not even going to try any more."And don't make me start yelling or I'll cough more blood onto your nice suit."

"Cool. When do we get the booze?"" Nnoitra reached over picked up his glass of water. It had been a good half an hour since they arrived as 'distant relatives' at the wedding reception of the Zellmans and drinks were yet to be served for some reason. "And by the way, where did Tia and Grimmjow disappear to?"

"I have no clue." Szayel sat back in his seat and crossed his arms. Could Nnoitra ever say anything deep and meaningful? He supposed not. The deepest statement he had ever heard from the Fifth Esapada was 'Yeah. I love ya.'

And Szayel replied, 'Sure you do.'

And that was all. Not that Szayel wanted some over dramatic drama queen who ran around describing things with Purple Prose. No, no… That was his brother, Yylfordt.

He used to continually dance around Los Noches in a red cape and many ridiculous lines for the ladies.

No. Szayel was a sight romantic. A little twisted, but a romantic by nature.

"What I meant to say was, why in the world did you save me from being lunch for two hollows today?" Szayel finally came out with the topic of the conversation he failed to have a few minutes ago.

Nnoitra finished off his water and set the glass on the table. "Donno. I guess it was because I'd miss you."

"Is that so?"

"Yeah. Kinda."

"What do you mean by, kind of?" Szayel leaned across the table so there was less chance of him lying. "Are you saying that-"

"No. No. Not that. I just don't really talk mushy."

"Yeah…" Aaroniero cut in, cringing at Nnoitra's side of the conversation. He even had better conversations with his secret love by the name of Tia who told him that he was scum and that she had no feelings for him at all; and would rather kiss Baraggan. "You really score with the dudes, Nnoitra!"

"You, shut up!"

"Okay, okay…." Aaroniero laughed and backed off; leaving Szayel to this conversation. "All though I have to admit I really only like Tia 'cause she's high-ranking as the third and really, really hot and-"

"We don't care!" Nnoitra and Szayel screamed, making the poor Espada sink back in his chair.

"Now." Szayel coughed slightly as he turned his attention back to Nnoitra who was grinning across the table at him. "Tell me the real reason, in honest words why you decided to save me today. It doesn't seem like you at all."

"Okay… But first you have to tell me why you chose to run all the way home instead of destroying the hollows yourself." Nnoitra insisted, with a smirk. "Wanted me to save you?"

Aaroniero laughed nervously as he watched Szayel gently slide his glasses back into place. _Oh no! We're dead! He only does that when he's angry! Help me Aizen-sama! I'm just a bystander!_

_And I do- Oh no! Nnoitra's laughing! Really bad sign! Code Red! Code Red! Abandon ship!_ "AHHH-"

The Ninth Espada froze as everyone in the tent looked at him. "Um… I said that out loud, didn't I? Yeah… Pay no attention to little me…Move along…"

Thankfully for him, Szayel and Nnoitra hardly noticed his screaming and finally started talking about the matters at hand.

"You first." Szayel ordered Mr. Smiles.

"No. You first." Nnoitra grouched. "'Cause the story starts with you coming home."

"…Fine. All right. You win."

"Yeah…"

"Hey! Don't act so smug, Nnoitra! You're the one who fell six stories!"

"Okay! I won't. Go on with your story." Nnoitra sighed and picked up his empty glass to make sure it was in fact empty. _What is with Szayel? He is only the Eight Espada and so was not so strong, but he can always win a fight of words. I suppose it's something I kind of admire… I'm not so well spoken. Anyhow, there is a kind of charm in what he says… _

_His smile's kind of strange. I always knew that. But I have to admit his desire to be the strongest is rather attractive… _Szayel thought, trying to figure out what words to string together. _And if there thing we share in common, it is the desire for power. So, I suppose we fit well together. _

"Um…" Aaroniero began, "Aren't you two supposed to be talking? Not staring at each oth- ow!" he cried as a foot under the table smashed his toes. "That hurt! What was-ow!"

"Heh." Szayel cracked a small genuine smile. "I suppose it is really a matter of what Miss. Tia would have thought, had I left my Gigai behind and it had got eaten. She would have not been so happy as I am sure you know. And so that is why I headed home."

"You know what?!" Aaroniero cried, not wanting to be in the middle of another fight. "I am going under the table! Bye you two! Have a nice talk!"

"Oh… So that it." Nnoitra paused to calculate what was said for a moment. "You did the right thing I guess."

"Now you, Nnoitra" Szayel took a sip from his own water glass. "Why did you try and go out the window and then of all things, in a way, save me?"

"Well…" How was he to sum this up with out getting too mushy? "I suppose I just didn't wanna cook anymore. You've cooked, right? It's a real pain sometimes. And I'm sorry kinda sorry that I kinda landed on you. You know what I mean. Anyway… suppose I kinda you know, saved you 'cause…."

_Why is there silence?! _Aaroniero freaked out, waiting for the end.

"I love you."

"You are eloquent after all. Yet, you forget…we have not hearts to love with."

"True."

"But I suppose that does not matter."

"Yeah. It doesn't."

"You, however, are no charmer…" Szayel noted as the space between them began to diminish. "And no, I won't slap you."

"Good." Nnoitra said just before their lips gently met.

* * *

Author's Note: I am sorry for the long wait for the newest chapter. I went back and fixed the missing chapter problem and the realization by one of my readers that we went from Scotland to England with no explanation. And that caused a slight problem within the story. The Esapada I know don't have passports so, I am setting this story in Scotland and Yammy bought his way on a private plane to Hollywood and somehow did not need a passport. Hey, he's big and scary.

If you a reading this story and come across anything else such as location that need a check, let me know. Thank you for reading and you everlasting patience with me.


	34. Yelling Theatre in a Crowded Fire

"I thought you and I could use a nice quite evening." Tia said as she sat in the empty movie theatre next to Grimmjow who was eyeing the popcorn she was eating. "We do all the work and the three of them just mess it up."

"Yes, they tend to do that."

"At least they have Aaroniero to beat up if they get frustrated."

"That's good." Grimmjow noted, remembering the last time Szayel or Nnoitra snapped. Even though there was a large gap in power between the two, the results were still devastating.

With Nnoitra at least, one could track the path of carnage as there was a long line of dead bodies and limbs. And even better, one could hear him yelling for miles around.

Szayel on the other hand, people just up and disappeared. Unless someone was unfortunate enough to find an organ-less corpse with it's head smashed in. But that was a rare find as Szayel never really left any remains to be seen.

"I just hope Aaroniero can run." Grimmjow muttered, stealing the popcorn off Tia's lap.

"What did you do that for?" She cried, half joking.

"You were not eating it, so I thought I might have a little and give it back."

"You are correct. As for Fish-tank, I believe that he can run kilometers if he is scared enough."

"Yeah. Try having two angry Espadas out to kill you."

"Um…" Tia turned her attention to the horrid action movie they ended up seeing as they were not in the mood for something serious "That would be amusing to see. As he would scream, 'Save me Aizen-sama' all the way back to Los Noches."

"Hey…that reminds me of a nursery rhyme."

"I can tell. I know which one you are- not my toes!"

"I wasn't even going to try." Grimmjow laughed as Tia began aware of her open toed shoes. "You thought I was going to tickle them."

"You were. Don't."

"All right. I won't."

"Hey!"

Grimmjow glanced down his his feet and Tia kicked Aaroniero in the head without hesitation. "What are you doing here?!" She whispered, upset that her semi-pleasant evening had been ruined. "Why are you no-"

"I'm confused!" Aaroniero cried, tears welling in the eyes of his Whole Costume. "I don't know what going on!"

"What?" Grimmjow gasped. Had the two gotten mad at each other and… This could be really bad…very bad in fact. "Can you explain what

you mean?"

"Yeah! I was hiding under the table because I thought they were going to start fighting again and then there was this great silence! Then! Then! I crawl out from under the table after getting kicked for some reason and they wouldn't talk to me! I tried to get their attention and it didn't work! I even yelled 'Fire' any nothing happened! AHHH!"

"What?!" Tia was shocked. "You yelled…fire." She whispered. "What kind of idiot are you?!"

"Oh Miss Tia! Oh so beautiful! I didn't think it would cause such a panic! But Szayel and Nnoitra wouldn't stop smashing their faces together!"

"…What?" Grimmjow gave Tia a long look before asking Aaroniero. "What do you mean exactly?"

"Just what I said! See, they were like-" Aaroniero took Grimmjow's face in his hands and shmooshed his lips on his in a sloppy fashion.

"Yeah." Grimmjow pushed Aaroniero away and wiped his lips after making a face. "I get the picture. Ugh…Tia… later, if you would."

"Sure." She wouldn't mind to kiss him again as long his he used some mouthwash to get rid of Fish-tank's kiss of confusion. "Aaroniero, that's called kissing. It's a normal thing that sometimes happens when you fall in love."

"Oh?" That was new!

"Yeah!" Grimmjow grabbed him by the arm, "and why the hell did you come here to tell us this when we were having a nice time with out you?!"

"I donno!" Aaroniero cried as Grimmjow dragged him out of the theatre. "I just was concerned!"

"Really?" He could hardly buy that lie.

"Kinda! If their faces were stuck together forever, someone would be mad at me! I know it for sure!"

"Aw….damn it…." Grimmjow let out a long sigh and stopped walking just as they reached the lobby of the theatre. By this time, Aaroniero was crying and Grimmjow knew he had to do something if all of them were to get a long and accomplish their mission. "Okay… Aaroniero, I have a deal. Idea more like."

"…What…ki…ki..kind?!"

"A good one that is good for you too."

Grimmjow let go of the Ninth Espada's arm and waited until he cleared up his tearful act. "Okay… are you done crying?"

Aaroniero nodded.

"Great. Okay. While you and the four of us live in that apartment, I will ask Tia if she can make sure that Szayel and Nnoitra don't chop you up, okay? I know you worry about that a lot… as you are so uptight. Correct?"

"Yes! Very much! I don't wanna die!"

"You won't." Grimmjow put his hand on a tall and yet very scared shoulder. "All it needs is a word from Tia. Can I tell you a secret?"

"Yes, I suppose…" Aaroniero muttered, his heart starting to calm down as he began to realize Grimmjow wasn't lying.

"Neither Szayel or Nnoitra want to be demoted. Szayel doesn't want to have to answer to you. Which isn't very nice… but hey, he will do what Tia wants because she can have his rank lowered. So, I am very sure they won't try and kill you. Just don't have any soup Nnoitra makes and other than that you will be fine."

"Cool…" A smile crossed Kaien Shiba's face. "What's wrong with the soup?"

"Oh, it was just bad and made us all sick for a while."

"Okay…do you want me to leave now?"

"Yeah." Grimmjow dug into his pants pocket and pulled out a ten. "Treat yourself with a movie or something. Just don't want to see you come home drunk, okay?"

"Yes sir."

"Great. See you later." Grimmjow watched Aaroniero skip out of the theatre lobby and after he was gone, Grimmjow rejoined Tia who greeted him with a well executed kiss. (After he stopped in the Water Closet to wash his mouth out of course.)

* * *

Author's note: I think I love Aaroniero. He's so much fun to write!


	35. OMG! Send Out Postcards ASAP!

Grimmjow walked down the hallway of Los Noches, glancing over his shoulder as he walked. This was not as easy as he first thought. "Who would ever-"

"Itsygo!" His face suddenly met the floor and Nel began to dance on his back in a joyful celebration. "You came back!"

"Of course-OWW!"

"I'm smart! No?!" Nel stopped dancing and sat down on her new chair that just so happened to have a name. "Right?"

"Yeah, you are…" Ichigo told her again, not sure how they all pulled it off to begin with. Or how they all managed to stay in character for a brief meeting that ended up lasting seven hours.

After he, Chad, Rukia and Ishida met Nel in the vast sands of Heuco Mundo along with her two strange friends, Pesche and Dondochakka, Rukia realized that they could easily save Orihime by impersonating the heads of the Arrancar army known as the Espadas; after Nel told her she saw them leaving for somewhere.

"I don't know where they go…but… They Espada bad." Nel told her new friends who were actually kind enough to play Eternal Tag with her. "Anywa-"

"What?!" Ichigo cried, "Where could they be going?! We have to warn everyone we know! Send out postcards!"

"Really?" Rukia sighed, giving Renji a look. "I don't think so. I think that Aizen wants their leaving to be secret."

"Of course he would." Ishida agreed, fixing his glasses that would not stay on his nose today. "That's what bad guys do, Ichigo."

"I know! I'm not-"

"Hold it right there." Rukia cut them off. "Nel. Can you tell us about these Espadas?"

"Yea…." She glanced at Pesche nervously. "Can I?"

"Of course. They are our friends we must help. And we here will fill in what Nel doesn't know."

Mostly. As long it would help to keep her away from Nnoitra…

Nel put her thumb in her mouth and began to talk. "So… there are ten Espadas and they scary and powerful…and I don't know that Itsygo and friends can pretend all of them."

"What do you mean?" Rukia sat down next to the little Aarrancar so she could hear better.

"Well…I haven't seen them in person…But… They have numbers that are one to nine…Pesche? I donno."

"You did well." Pesche patted Nel on the head and sat down as well. "There are ten Espadas and it is not possible to impersonate all of them as some have their oddities that a Human can not fake."

With this, Peshe went to describe all of the current Espadas as well as he could, leaving out a lot of details of Nnoitra and Szayelapporo who tried to murder Nel only to have her become a child again. "And so…this will take a great deal of acting and right choice on my part. As I will assign you each an Esapada who I believe you could pull off convincingly enough. Thank goodness Aizen has very brain cells left."

"Me first!" Ichigo cried, stepping forwards. "Me first! I'm the leader!"

"All right…" Pesche stood up so he was standing next to the orange-haired soul reaper. "Stand a little closer, I have to see how tall you are."

Ichigo scowled and moved so he was standing next to the weird thing."Is that better?"

"Yes… Let's see… Um…" Pesche looked his material up and down. "Are you a grouchy mad?"

"Trust me, he is." Rukia said with a smirk. "And stubborn too."

"Great… You get to be our Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez. He's like your evil twin. More grouchy and cross."

"Cool!" Ichigo grinned and stepped away so that Chad could be measured next. "I got a cool name!"

"And…" Pesche hated to do this, but…there was only one Espada who Chad could act as. "Zommari Rureaux. Sorry. It's the only male dark-skinned character but you so far in the story."

"That's okay." Chad said, pleased he would at least get to help farther the mission to rescue Orihime. "But seriously… This story needs more Ethnic Characters."

"I know…" Ishida said, wondering for a moment how he seemed to be ten times more pale than everyone else. "Now, who am I?"

"Can you play dead-pan?" Pesche wondered, a thought lingering in the back of his mind. "And serious."

"Of course. I am always serious."

"And then… we have Aizen's right hand man, Ulquiorra Schaffer. The Gothic Emo character of the story who…never mind. And you, Rukia…You don't give me much to work with here with your height…All the Espadas are insanely tall…" Pesche gently stroked his chin in thought. There had to be someone that she could be….

"And so, you are very smart, Nel." Ichigo said, hoping she would stop crushing him into the hallway floor. "Now can I get up?"

"No! I wanna play tag!" Nel cried, tears coming to her eyes.

"No! We have things to-"

"Hey you two…" a sweet voice said.

Ichigo and Nel looked up to see Aaroniero towering over them. "Hey, what is it?"

"I just heard a commotion…" Aaroniero reached up and pulled the white mask off to reveal the smiling face of Rukia Kuchiki. "And so I came to see what was up."

"Nothing. Nel just crashed in to me."

"Sorry about that. Ulquiorra wants to talk with all of us." Rukia said, offering her hand to Nel who took it. "Come on, let's go." The two of them walked down the hallway happily.

Ten minutes later when they reached the meeting room, Renji was making a stink about his guise. "Why do I have this idiot Telsa following me around and wanting to shine my shoes?!"

"I don't know." Ishida said, squinting so he could read his own notes on the clipboard. With out his glasses it was quite difficult to read anything. "I suppose that is what he did for the Real Nnoitra."

'Well, you could have it worse." Yumichika Ayasegawa of the Fifth Company complained from across the table. "You could have had to bleach and dye your beautiful black hair and have a shit-load of weird hollows trailing you everywhere!"

"True." Renji sighed, resting his case.

When Pesche realized that they needed impersonators of Tia Harribel and Szayelapporo Granz, it was time to call in a reinforcements.

"Well at least I get to dress in these hot clothes!" Rangiku Matsumoto, of the Tenth Division laughed. "And I didn't even have to tailor them!"

"Of course you didn't." Ishida said, "You're chest is the right size."

"I know! And I found these little gloves that fit so nicely too! And I found my drinking buddy!"

"Okay…" Ishida muttered, not sure what to say. "So you have a drinking buddy who's a hollow."

"Kinda. An Aarancarr that I just so happened to meet at this cute little pub and we got talking you know. Real nice fellow and, you met them Renji. I know you did or-'

"Yeah, yeah. I did. I still can't-"

"Can we just get on with this meeting without getting so sidetracked?!" Ishida had many things on his list to do today and all of them were highly important.

"Of course we can." Rukia said, walking in with Nel in hand. "So, what is situation?"

"Aizen is baffled and our task is to keep him in a state of confusion." Ishida stated from the head of the table. "No matter what it takes. The we move on saving Orihime."

"And?" Renji asked after a long pause.

"Nothing. Meeting closed." Ishida grinned and walked out of the room, leaving all of his friends in a daze.

* * *

Author's Note: Wow... I love this chapter. We will be seeing much more of these wonderful characters in the near future . I honestly love when Ichigo panics and wants to send postcards to every one he knows.

As for ishida and Ichgo, I am sniffing a Not So Old Married Couple, rather the Newly Weds. But I don't think I will be going there in this story as I already have enough pairings to deal with. As I have Tia and Grimmjow. Szayel and Nnoitra. You all can enjoy the battles and what ever else happens as who knows Ishida and Ichigo's days to come. These characters run around by themselves, so I honestly don't know what is going to happen.


	36. Good Bye, Sandra Dee

Orihime Inoue sat down on her small bed in a huff. Where the hell was Ulquiorra?! It was about time for dinner and he had not come to harass her into eating.

Not that she didn't like to eat, she just didn't feel like it.

And what was worse, he had not bought her lunch or dinner. Telsa, the serious and yet too kind of a gentleman brought her food instead.

"And what has it been?" Orihime glanced over her shoulder at the scratches she carved in the wall. "Five… Fifteen… Almost a hundred days since I last saw Ulquiorra! Let alone Grimmjow and everyone else. I hope that Ichigo has not chopped them all up by now…" Orihime threw her feet up onto her bed and stared at the ceiling. "And what should I do? Wait in here to be rescued by Ichigo who doesn't even have enough guts to make the first move?! For months I've been here and… how is it the people who captured me are nicer than my previous company?!"

Her voice echoed in the near empty room, making her realize what a pain it was to be locked up in here most of the time. Once the Esapada realized she was not going to escape, they invited her to dinner every once and a while.

Over which, many interesting conversations and arguments occurred.

"So…" Ulquiorra wondered as he sat across the table from her the evening before he and the others disappeared. "Do you like the soup?"

"No! I haven't even tried it yet!" She laughed, passing the bread to Tia who was in the process of lecturing Nnoitra on his manners. "I am sure the soup is very good though. As…" She glanced around the long table. She was never sure who made the food around here, but if there was one person to rule out, it would be Nnoitra.

"I made it." Starrk muttered, half asleep with a bottle of beer in hand. "I… used pot-ta-toes…"

"Potatoes, Starrk." Szayel corrected, loving how he talked when he was drunk. "Potatoes…"

"Is-ta-su? Pa-ta-to. S. Th-eh…"

Szayel watched his face hit the table. If he only had time to record all of the First Espada's ramblings, he would create a whole new language. One that was too difficult to understand or speak, unless…well… dead drunk.

"Thanks!" Orihime said, not caring if Starrk heard or not. "And who made the bread?"

"He made me!" Aaroniero cried, pointing at across the table at Szayel who smiled.

"Hey, I didn't want to make any food. I was too busy with my latest project."

"Aw…" Orihime could not help but feel a little bad for the ninth Espada who was always forced to do everyone's dirty work. "Szayel… But it was your turn to make something for dinner."

"So?"

"You should have made this yourself. And that is what you are going to do tomorrow." She glanced at Tia, who nodded her head.

"Yes." The Third Espada agreed. "You get to make food for all the meals tomorrow."

"Damn it…" Szayel looked way up at the ceiling and put his head in his hands. "Come on. I have so much to do before… Well.. Okay. If you want, I can leave right now and make dessert instead."

"Good." Tia liked the way everyone listened to what she ordered. "And take Nnoitra with you as he had avoided cooking for the last… Fifty years!"

"Will do." Szayel saluted and got out of his chair. Heading over to Nnoitra's seat on the other side of the table. He reached out and grabbed a large hand-full of black hair. "Come on."

"No ***** way am I going to ****** Cook!" Nnoitra yelled, hardly moving when Szayel gave his hair a yank. "You go ****** cook you, ******"

"Have it your way then…" Szayel muttered, "Go ****** cook by yourself instead. Or else."

"Or else what?"

"Or…" Szayel drew his sword absentmindedly. "I will turn you into a doll and sprinkle your innards over some ice cream and give it to Neliel who I am sure is still roaming around. She would be all to happy to eat what was left of you after I am finished. I think I will fry your liver and eat it with a salad. As for what dipping sauce I would use, I am unsure. I always liked mustard, though."

"You wouldn't dare!" Nnoitra cried, jumping out of his chair. "…Okay! You would!" He screamed after Szayel said nothing in reply. "I'm going to ***** cook already!"

"Good." Szayel smiled and put his sword away. "And," He called as Nnoitra walked towards the door of the dinning room. "Don't forget to clean up, darling! Oh and, I'll be right there!"

"You'd better be…" Tia whispered, not wanting to drag them down the hall and lock them in the kitchen herself. "And you better clean up your mouth before tomorrow, Nnoitra!"

"Whatever, you, *****"

"Or I'll scrub it with toilet cleaner!" Tia yelled, not wanting to have all the humans in the world offend by his excessive language. "And I mean it!"

"Wow…" Orihime laughed after the two left the room. "That was colorful. Anyhow, I was going to ask you Ulquiorra if you wanted to hang out in the library for a while after dinner."

"Sounds pleasant." He replied, hoping that the distant banging sound was not what he thought it was. But…he knew too well, it was.

"That is not a pot, Nnoitra!" Szayel's screaming echoed down the hall. "That's a cheese grater! Don't you know anything about modern cookware?! Or were you some kind of barbarian who just ate raw meat?!"

"**** Off! I know damn well what a pot is! I was just getting this out of the way! Barbarian my ass! You eat people's hearts for lunch!"

"Hell yes, I do! But how does that make a me a barba- No, no! You don't crush the chocolate with your bare hands! That's disgusting!

"Then, Mr. Clean, how do you make a ******** Chocolate cake?!"

"No ******* clue! It's just here in this book! What ever all this means! My stupid brother could figure this out! Yylfordt! Oh, Stupid brother!"  
Orihime and the other Espadas heard an un-earthly scream that almost made their ears explode followed by a commotion.

"What were you doing outside the window?!" Szayel yelled at his brother who was dressed up as Zorro today. Red cape, mask and all. "You act like some kind of ****** stalker! Showing up where ever I am when I call!"

"No, no! I am hardly so! It is I, you kindest and most compassionate brother who weeps tears of joy as he has been called to assist his dearest younger brother in a desperate time of need!"

The kitchen fell quite…

Szayel glanced from Blond-haired Zorro to Nnoitra. "At least we can understand him today."

"And what, prey tell do you need?" Yyfordt inquired, wiping the tears of joy from his eyes.

Szayel picked up the cook book and shoved it at his face. "Make this cake. Might get you promoted."

An there was much rejoicing. As the baker baked and the cake was eaten in less than an hour. The only downside was that the cake, like the baker, was Zorro Themed.

Those were good times… Orihime laughed as she remembered all of the other insane dinners and lunches and all the events in between.

Szayel and Nnoita were either harmonious or yelling at one another. Tia stayed out of messes that were not hers until Nnoitra became involved and Ulquiorra always kept to himself.

"Ah….Ulquiorra, I miss you." Orihime sighed, sitting up on her bed to mess with her long orange hair. "And all of you, actually… Starrk's stupid stories, Grimmjow playing chess in his free-time… with you, even though you, Ulquiorra, won every time. After so long with all of you, you've kind of felt like family in a weird way."

She glanced up at the full moon out of the small window of her room, wondering for a moment if the moon in the other worlds were the same. "At least you appreciate my powers, Ulquiorra…Unlike Ichigo-kun and everyone else…"

Orihime reached over the edge of her bed for her shoes and began to put them on as she spoke. "In the past, I've always been sidelined… forgotten… Just like all of you. You're families forgot you and that's why you became so lonely…and…I never felt like I fit in. Rukia-san and everyone always wanted to protect me, Ulquiorra. You seem to know I can fight for myself…" She grabbed the map of Los Notches off her nightstand and made her way over the doorway of her room.

"All I was before I met all of you was the weak Orihime Inoue. One who cared too much for everyone. One who loved everyone and always made things right…. Orihime, heal this, fix that…"

She stared at the closed doorway in front of her and closed her eyes. It all made sense. All she was to her old friends was the Nurse. The one who had minimal powers and stood behind everyone else.

_Today…_

_Today I'm…_

_"I'm not gonna be a fuckin' nurse anymore!"_ Orihime screamed, _"Tsubaki! I reject!"_

* * *

Author's note: I love this chapter. This is what should have happened. I dislike Orihime in the actual story, but I really love her here. The more I wrote, the more I realized she really just a nurse to heal everyone all the time. On another note, I was inspired by The Unbelievable's vision of Nnoitra in their story, _Pray _that I adore to no end. (and I was also kind inspired by the way they wrote Szayel as well.) It is a rather odd story, but it one of the best Bleach Fictions I 've read yet. So, I kind of incorporated that version a bit here with the excessive swearing. (And don't worry, you will find out why Nnoitra's mouth is much cleaner in the human world. Wait for it.)

Here is the link to Pray: s/8963120/1/Pray

Take in mind, it is M for Nnoitra's mouth and what not. Just say I warned you. (Awesome story and if you read, please leave a review.)

And I wonder who Yyfordt will be dressed up next time we see him in Orihime's thoughts. (If you want and I would appreciate it, readers, you can suggest something in the Review box below. As I am not set on anything.)


	37. Saved By The PA System

The door to Orihime's room exploded outwards, sending shard of white material into the air.

"Ah." Orihime smiled at herself and walked out of her room into the hallway. She opened the map of Los Notches and glanced around. "And now… how do I get out of here? And to here…?" If she were ever going to find Ulquiorra, she was going to have to figure out how to get to Szayel's room where she could open a portal to whatever world she wanted. "I suppose.. I go that way…"

She turned to her left and began down the hallway, whistling a tune that Starrk taught her. What the lyrics where, she wasn't sure as he was slurring as he spoke. She assumed, however, they were rather vulgar.

Making the whistling more enjoyable by far.

She turned corner after corner of the pure white hallways and was about to make another when an odd-looking Grimmjow walked down the other hallway.

Orihime froze and pasted herself to the wall. _Who was that?! _

The impostor turned around so she could see his face. _Oh no! Ichigo-kun! What is he doing here?! And if he finds me… It's all over! They will drag me back home to Japan and- _

"_Would all of you Espadas please report to the throne room of your very confused leader?" _Aizen's voice asked over the PA System which Nnoitra used regularly to cuss out who ever he was angry at. _"At once!"_

_Yes! _Orihime grinned. _Saved! _

The Fake Grimmjow sighed and walked back down the hallway the way he came. _Shoot! I have to go that way to get to Szayel's room!_ Orihime cursed under her breath and began to make a detour route in her head. If she went past Grimmjow's quarters and then took a left and went past the laundry room that was next to Tia's room…. Then all it was a right, a left and all the way down the hall to right. And then, once in Szayel's palace, all she had to do was tap the wall three times and all of the traps would be disabled.

"And why is that?" She asked when Szayel first showed her the trick. "It's so easy."

"Exactly, Orihime." He replied, a manic grin sliding onto his face. "Everyone is so stupid when they attack someone's home, that they never think of simple solutions. Goodness knows, this poor place of mine has become ruble more than once. I suppose that is what I get when I don't kick Grimmjow and Ulquirorra out when they start a squabble."

"I suppose…" She said, tapping the wall three times herself. "And if you want, I could try to help you clean up a bit next time it happens."

"Oh, don't worry about… Lumina and the others fix it up just fine."

"All right." And Orihime left it at that.

She was still rather baffled why Szayel of all people would actually show her how to disable the Palace, but she figured she would ask him when she arrived in the Human World.

"And now…." Orihime turned another corner of the white halls of Los Noches, "What?" She glanced over her shoulder and in front of her. "I already passed Grimmjow's room…. And…the Laundry Room shouldn't have moved…"

She turned around and headed back the way she came. "I must have missed a turn back-"

She froze as an all to familiar Zammori walked past. So lost in his own thoughts, he did not even see Orhime standing in the hallway to his left.

_Chad's here too?! Are they all here?! I suppose it would be best to assume so… but why are they dressed up as… Oh… I get it. _Orihime held back and laugh until Chad disappeared around the corner, obviously headed to Aizen's impromptu meeting.

"They look so dumb!" Orihime snickered, as she headed down the correct hallway to the Laundry Room. "I…I'll have to tell Ulquiorra all about this! Hell, Tia might even laugh!"

_Hah…I think everyone's foul mouth is getting to me… Oh well. _She stopped in the Laundry Room to finish her laughing after she spotted Matsumoto prancing down the hallway dressed as Tia Harribel. "This… This is too good!"

After the pain in her sides went away, Orihime snuck past Tia's room and finally came to the doors of Szayel's Palace which opened for anyone to venture in unbeknownst to the dangers inside.

She paused for a moment to listen for the almost silent sound of machines which made the Place function properly.

"And this…" She walked over to the left wall and stood on her tip-toes to reach the second wall panel. She gently tapped her hand on the wall three times and there was a sudden and noticeable silence. "Should do it."

Orihime dance across the floor and made her way to the lab where she found the door locked. "Shoot!" She cried, a frown crossing her face. "I don't want to do this… but you leave me no choice. Sorry, Szayel-kun."

A second later, she blasted through the doorway and marched into the darkness beyond. "Lights! On!"

She watched as all the brilliant white lights flickered on one after another, casing a almost blinding glare. "Thanks. And…" Orihime walked over to the nearest computer and opened a word doctument. "I should have that door fixed before you get back."

_Lumina, _

_Please fix the door to Szayel's lab before dinner. Thank you,_

_Who should I put? I can't put my name here in case Ichigo wanders in here! _

_I know! Sorry about this. _

Orihime put her fingers back on the keys and fixed the letter so it would make sense.

_Lumina, _

_Fix this ****** door NOW. Donno why Szayel wasn't here. Suppose he's out doing something. Tell him when I get back in that I have to talk with him. _

_Fix the ****** door already!_

_Nnoitra_

"That was taken care of quite well, I must say. And now to turn the Place Systems back on… and check where the portal last placed someone…" Orihime pressed a few more keys on another computer and headed to the portal in the other room. "Good bye, Los Noches, Hello Ulquiorra."


	38. Bugscicle Delivery Service

"I fuckin' hate winter!" Nnoitra yelled before his teeth began to make more music or Tia happened to overhear from miles away. "I-t-t-c-c-col-d-d-d."

"N-n-n-ot W-w-w-winter." Szayel corrected Nnoitra's statement about hating the weather.

"B-b-b-t. It's s-s-s…"

"I-i-i…" Szayel tried to agree as the two of them shuffled home from work together almost frozen solid. "I-t-t…"

"Y-y-yeah…" Nnoitra said, hoping that his feet would continue to move through the new layers of snow, even though he could no longer feel them. "An..a-a-an…d."

"Me t-t-t-t-o." Szayel chattered, hearing a not so pleasant cracking sound from his knee as he tried to take another step. "T-t-t-"

"Y-e-e-a!" Nnoitra would have given up and stopped walking a good three blocks ago and let himself freeze into a Preying Mantis Popsicle if he didn't know that Tia was kind enough to make her special soup that evening. Soup with potatoes, cheese and of course some hardy Hollow meat.

"A-a-and-" Szayel stammered, "it-it-it's f-f-fall!"

"I kn-n-n-o-o-w!"Nnoitra jumped as a leaf hit his nose. What the heck was with all of these stupid things falling off trees?! Let alone, white cold stuff falling from the sky at the same time!

After a good two months of serving in the kitchen and honestly apologizing to Tia, Nnoitra was allowed to apply for a job. Thankfully, the new production that Szayel was in, as Hamlet closed months ago, was in need of a hairstylist.

At first, all of the other Espadas laughed when they heard that Nnoitra wanted the job, but after he restyled Tia's insane hair, no one questioned farther. So, Szayel and Nnoitra got to spend time with one another everyday. Which was actually good as they were forced to not fight in front of humans after the two realized they were just as strong in their gigais as they were in their normal forms.

"W-w-w-we…" Szayel chattered, struggling to move across the sidewalk.

"Yeah." Nnoitra wished he could smile as he saw the apartment building up ahead. "I-i-i-"

"Me t-t-t-o." Szayel wished he could pause to smell the nice scent of Tia's cooking drifting through the air toward them. But if he stopped, he might never move again until summer. "Y-y-y-ou…"

"I-i-i." Nnoitra stiffly nodded his head. Being human would be a great thing right now. If it got any colder in the human world, the two of them would become bugsicles. "O-o-r!"

"N-n-n!" Szayel wasn't going to let some cold finally kill him after all of these years. Besides, some Butterflies, unlike Praying Mantid, actually hibernated. The stupid Mantis just up and died. Hardy-har-har. "A-n-n-d!"

"W-w-what?!"

"N-n-noth…" Szayel watched Nnoitra try his best to open the front door, but failed to do so. "H-e-e…" Szayel trampled over and grabbed the door handle and pulled with all his might. The door opened a tiny crack. Not even enough to stick his foot in. "O-o-k."

The two cranked their necks upwards. "T-t-t-tia!"

Grimmjow glanced at Tia who was stirring the soup and sighed. "They're home…"

"And we have to go get them…" Aaroniero sighed, wishing he didn't have to cart Szayel up and down six flights of stairs lately. "Like we always do."

Grimmjow pulled open the window and yelled into the side ally, hoping that they would hear him. "We're coming! Just hold on, okay?!"

"Y-e-e-es!" Came the reply.

"Let me finish this page, will you?" Aaroniero asked from the bed that he and Grimmjow shared after Tia decided it would be best not to sleep on the floor anymore as it was getting cold. Since they did not have enough collective money after setting up Aaroniero with a Gigai and to pay rent for the others and the apartment, food and beds, they were all forced to share.

Except Tia who ordered she have her own bed and got as she wished.

"No, you can't." Grimmjow yanked the book out of Aaroniero's hand. It was bad enough his feet were cold and he snored, but… "I don't want to have to carry a Nnoitrasicle up the steps. I assume you don't want a Szayelsicle either."

"You're right…" The Ninth Espada sighed and after grabbing his warm winter coat off his pile of clothes, followed Grimmjow down to the main floor where Szayel and Nnoitra were waiting to be let inside.

"T-t-th!" Szayel cried as the door finally opened. "I-i-i-i!"

"We know you love us." Grimmjow grinned and ushered them inside. "And do you think if we let ya two thaw out a little, you could get upstairs by yourself?"

Nnoitra shook his head. Even in the apartment building it was ****** cold.

"Great…" Aaroniero muttered, rather annoyed with this whole thing. "Come here…"

"T-t-t…" Szayel chattered as Aaroniero picked him up. "I-i-i-d-d-d-ntha-h-ate you."

"Wow… thanks." Aaroniero never heard him say such kind things until now. "And for that, I won't drop you."

"T-t-tank."

"Welcome." He replied, making his way up the steps after Grimmjow figured out, yet again, how to carry someone twice his size and weight.

"You know, you really should relax and stop fighting so much! All your muscle just makes you heavier!"

"I-k-k!" Nnoitra grouched, thankful that someone was kind enough to take him upstairs. But to suggest that he retire was crossing a line!

"B-b-b-than-k-s."

Grimmjow would have replied, but it was just to talk by the fourth flight of steps. The only reason he even agreed to help cart these two bugsicles up the steps was because if he became stronger, he might have a change at kicking Ulquiorra's ass one of these days.

"And here are the daily deliveries." Aaroniero announced, walking into the apartment way a head of Grimmjow. As he was just a fish tank attached to a kind of body, he did not feel the same strain. "Where do you want them?"  
Tia took the spoon out of the pot and set it down on a plate. "Why don't you start tucking them in so they don't freeze over again."

When the first snow of the season came with no warning, Nnoitra and Szayel had literally froze stiff and it took everyone the whole day to thaw them out.

"Good idea." Aaroniero walked over to the third bed that Szayel and Nnoitra shared and dumped the cargo on one side. "And…" Aaronieo glanced over his shoulder to see if Grimmjow had made it up the steps, but he was not to be seen. "Now I shall tuck you in, I suppose."

"Y-y-yes!"

Tia smiled as she watched Aaroniero begin to pile blankets on top of Szayel. It was honestly quite amusing to watch the Fifth and Eighth

Espada shuffle around in the cold. She hardly felt any difference in the weather and was rather baffled to why there was small white flakes of something falling from the sky one morning.

Grimmjow on the other hand put on a sweater like a normal human and grew his blue hair out so he could put it up in a ponytail. Which Szayel secretly detested as Yyfordt's long hair was annoying enough as it used to be. If he had to count how many times he was hit in the face by a curtain of hair, as his brother made dramatic turn, he would have to use a very large calculator.

"And here…we… are.." Grimmjow gasped and fell to his knees in the doorway.

"M-m-m-ove t-t-damn it!" Nnoitra yelled in his ear. Not liking being carried over the shoulder everyday for the past month. "T-t-this is m-m-aking me w-w-anna hurl!"

"I…Will…Moment!" Grimmjow gasped, wanting to see Ulquiorra try this fun past time.

"Don't worry." Aaroniero came over and easily picked Nnoitra off Grimmjow's shoulder. "I'll take care of it. Tia, I think he'll need a glass of water."

"I am sure he does." She came over and helped Grimmjow off the floor while Aaroniero piled blankets onto Nnoitra as well. Thankfully, he and Szayel were to cold enough not to argue about being squashed into bed together after having to spend the whole day in each other's company.

"You two feel better now?" Aaroniero asked, pleased with how good he was at making sure that the blankets all stayed on the bed and all feet stayed warm.

"Y-e-es!" Szayel said, not sure why Nnoitra insisted on nearly choking him. But appreciated the love anyhow. "A-nnn…"

"Yea, Tia has the soup almost finished."

"Y-ay!" Nnoitra cried, happy to be warming up once again under a landslide of blankets. "And, I-i-i-glad t-t-to h-a-a-ve y-ou t-t-to c-c-uddle."

"Y-e-eah. S-s-ure you a-a-are." Szayel stammered, trying to loosen his grip just a little. "B-b-b-t…"

"-S-s-ory."

"W-w-what e-e-ver."

"Oh so sweet." Aaroniero laughed, hearing this exchange. "Szayel, just kiss him already. Don't make him fish all day."

"F-f-fine." He grouched and kissed Nnoitra's hand as there was no way he was going to try and move. "And h-h-how was y-y-your day?"

"It was great." Aaroniero replied a few minutes later after checking to see if the heaters were on. He continued to tell them how he got to help Tia with the soup by going Hollow-Hunting in the snow. "And It was kind of nice to fight something again. You know how addicting it is."

"Yea." Nnoitra murmured, almost a sleep due to the warm blanket and having a Szayel to hold. "And?"

"And then I came home and began to read this great book. I think you'd find it rather boring so I won't go into it, but I find it really interesting."

"G-g-ood." Szayel said, thankful that Aaroniero spared them the details and as of lately, had not had a crazy panic attack over something trivial. So far, life was pretty good. "A-nd, you?" He asked as Grimmjow walked over to them to talk.

"It was great. We took the kids outside today to make snowmen. To be honest, I kind of love teaching. I'll be sad when we have to leave."

"Leave?" Aaroniero gasped, as he forgot why they were here in the first place. "Oh! Yes. Leave. Sorry."

"It's okay. Anyhow-" Grimmjow stopped short as there was a knock on the apartment door. "I'll get that."

"Thank you." Tia told him with a tiny smile. The two of them had been having a wonderful time going to the movies and sharing time with one another these past few months.

The more Tia got to know Grimmjow, she wondered why she hadn't see past his annoying macho act he used to put on. But that was in the past.

"Hello?" Grimmjow said as he opened the door. "And what may I-"

Two arms wrapped around his neck in a warm hug. "Grimmjow-kun! I am so glad to see you!"

"Uh…?" He glanced down and realized who it was. "Miss. Inoue?"

"Yes!" Orihime cried, so happy to see them. "I was looking all over for you this past week! I kept asking people if they saw any of you and then someone downstairs said a girl with bright yellow hair lived upstairs and I had to come see if it were you! I mean, Tia-san."

"Well, you found us." Aaroniero said, peeking his head over Grimmjow's shoulder. "And you are… never mind. You don't want this soup. We can make you something else."

"Don't tell me she's gonna live with us!" Szayel managed to yell from his bed.

"Hey! Why did you wake me up?! I was just starting to dream!"

"What ever! I-

"Calm down, Szayel." Grimmjow called back before asking Orihime, "Do you want to come in?"

"Yes, thank you." She walked in and took her coat off she bought with the money she found in the pockets of her old jeans she was wearing when she had been kidnapped. Being the kind of flake she was at times, she left her credit card in the back pocket. "I am so glad that you are here!" She bent down to take her shoes off when Nnoitra yelled, "Don't take of your shoes! It's fricken' cold in here!"

"Ah? What was with that?" Orihime asked, hearing him actually not swear.

"It…" Tia found herself snickering as she recalled the incident. "I…kind of made him clean up his act."

"Yea! Only because you dragged me into the bathroom and scrubbed my mouth with the toilet brush and after that, put my head in the loo until I promised to not say anything above the S word!"

"And it worked." Tia said with a smile. Happy that she won for once in her life.

"But do you know how long it took me to get a kiss after that?! Three weeks!"

"I don't blame him." Aaroniero said, "I would not want to kiss anyone who's mouth was cleaned out with a used toilet brush until I poured some bleach down the hatch."

"Don't worry…" Szayel muttered, "I did that."

"So are all of you here?" Orihime asked from the couch after Tia invited her to sit down.

"No." Grimmjow shook his head, "We all split ways a while back."

"So…?" Orihime glanced around the room again, hoping she just missing Ulquiorra. Although, he was very hard to miss by the gloom he brought with him everywhere. "Is…Ulquiorra here?"

"Nope. Thank goodness."

"Oh. Well, I was looking for him. Do you have any ideas where he is?"

"No clue…" Tia handed a bowl of soup to Aaroniero to give to Nnoitra. "I sent him with Starrk and that little thing that's always following him around."

"Lynette?"

"Yes. And I haven't see him since."

Orihime sighed and let a frown settle on her face. "I see. But, I also wanted to tell you that….I don't really want to be rescued by Ichigo-kun… I…like all of you so much! I…I am an outcast too. No one appreciates me and… and please, don't go back to Hueco Mundo!"

"That's nice of you." Tia said, handing Orihime a piece of bread and the butter plate. "The soup has hollows in it, so you won't like it. What is going in Hueco Mundo?"

"Well…" Orihime snickered at the image of Ichigo and Chad trying to act like Grimmjow and Zommari. "You see…" She picked up the bread knife and explained all that went on while they were gone. By the end of her story, Grimmjow was on the floor laughing, Aaroniero was hunched over in the corner, dying as well. And Nnoitra and Szayel were speechless.

"What…" Szayel began.

"The…"

"Are you-"

"Are they that stupid?" Tia finished, not sure if to laugh or cry, so she did both. "I mean, I don't think I can even begin to tell you how insane that is!"

"I know!" Orihime tried her best to eat. "And I busted out of there and came here… I am so tired to being sidelined! And you all don't underestimate me!"

"So, you wanna stay." Szayel summed up her future reasons into one.

"If… If….you don't mind."

"Not at all." Tia said before anyone could say anything else. "But you will have to pitch in somehow."

"Of course. I lived on my own since…I cannot even remember."

"Great." Nnoitra said, laying his head back on the pillow. "Now that that is settled, I am going to sleep."

"Good plan." Szayel agreed and joined him. "And if any of you wake either of us up, you are so dead."

"But there is more!" Orihime said, making both of them crack an eye open. "I…I don't want you to go to Japan either. Aizen wants to attack Karakura town and…people could get hurt. Ichigo-kun, Rukia-san… Chad, Ishida and all of you. I…"

Tia listened to the silence that fell over the apartment. It were all true. And what were they fighting for? "Nothing I suppose. We, in the end are nothing but tools…"

"You…Really care." Grimmjow observed, "Don't you, Inoue-san?"

"Of course I do." Orihime said with a smile. "And I have a great idea. And you can go on hunting Nnoitra-kun. What if you didn't show up at Karakura town?"

"You're right…" Tia sat down on the couch next to her with a tea cup of soup. "I…I worked, we all worked so hard to become Vasto Lordes and for what?"

"To beat the shit out everything." Nnoitra offered. "And then hand it to Szayel to investigate."

"Right-o, dear."

"But… But…" Aaroniero began, "We were put in to a tank by Aizen-Sama! And we have feet to walk with an-"

"If you don't shut up, you won't have any." Szayel snapped, realizing that Aizen was in fact only a dictator who wanted to do as he wished.

"Sure my Place is state of the art…but… I don't want to die halfway through an eternal life. That would truly defeat the purpose. And I realized in my research that hollows cannot be made unless there are humans. Which is a sad fact as I really hate the stupid creatures. But I suppose, it cannot be helped."

"And…" Orihime added sadly, "Ulquiorra-kun won't figure out what a heart is."

"Why is this sounding like the Wizard of Oz?" Grimmjow muttered. "One wants brains, one wants a heart and one wants to beat people up and become king. Anyhow, I suppose you are right, Inoue-san. What do you think we should do? If we don't help Aizen, the Soul Reapers will after us. If we do, they will still be after us for kidnapping you. Who knew we'd be friends."

"True…" Orihime said, "I will have to think about this one.. I am sure there is a way to make peace."

"Peace?" Nnoitra scoffed at the idea. "There never is any at all."

"Except when you shut your mouth and go to sleep." Szayel grouched, wishing he wouldn't talk so loud.

"…True."

"I'll think about it tomorrow as Ichigo-kun is still looking for me and so he doesn't know I'm here." Orihime yawned and rubbed her eyes. "I'm sleepy…."

"Then take the couch." Tia told her, moving out of the way. "And we can discuss and have a official vote tomorrow on this whole matter."

* * *

Author's Note: Wow, that was a long chapter. It was so much fun to write! And I am sure in the next few, Orihime will find Ulquiorra and well...Everything is turning upside down. Anyhow, Butterflies do in fact freeze up in the cold (Having found many myself over the years just frozen), and Praying Manid do just keel over and die. (Szayel: 1 Nnoitria: 0 )

And I have been waiting so long to write them in the cold and snow. (And it's only fall! And all those living in Scotland, please forgive me as I have never been there.) As always, I love Aaroniero to pieces. We'll get back to Starrk, Zommari, Lynette and others, wait for it as I have a perfect idea.

The thing I love most about this chapter is Nnoitra and Szayel's chattering conversation. (And do Nnoitra's teeth actually play music? Maybe it's Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star or something.) And have you ever been carried over the shoulder? If you have, imagine up six flights of steps. Yea, it's not fun for either party.

P.s. Still editing here, so if your favorite chapter goes down, it will be back in a little bit. Thanks for your patience.


	39. Sacrifice No More

"It's so cold!" Szayel screamed the next day as snow fell from the sky outside the apartment window. "I c-c-can't stand I-i-it!"

"I'm g-g-g-onna d-d-die…" Nnoitra chattered, trying to fit himself under all of the blankets. But he was too tall to fit. "I-i-i-t's all o-o-over!"

"What the hell, guys?!" Aaroniero complained from the other side of the room, not caring that it was snowing and that the apartment was a tad cooler. Tia turned on the heater on full blast before anyone went to sleep.

"D-d-o-n't y-y-you use t-that t-t-t-one with m-e-e." Szayel scolded, not wanting to be talked back to by a lower ranking Hollow. "Y-o-ou da-d-a-mn f-f-" He gave up trying to say 'Fish-Tank' as a cold wind swept through the room even though the window was shut.

Grimmjow groaned put his pillow over his ears. "If you two don't stop talking, you're gonna wake Orihime."

"Too late." Tia muttered, glancing over at Orihime who sat up on the couch and looked around."And, what is the problem now?"

"C-c-cold!" Nnoitra complained, clinging to Szayel for any kind of warmth. "I-i-it's g-g-g-onna k-kill me!"

""Y-y-y-ou may-b-b-e." Szayel said, "N-n-n-ot me!"

"B-b-but y-y-you'd be s-s-sad!"

"You guys are pathetic…" Aaroniero laughed, turning on his built in recording device so all of the other Arancarr could watch it later. "And man, do I love the show."

"W-w-what e-e-ever."

"S-s-shut up-p-p!"

"Wow.. This is the best…twenty warm blankets and the heaters and they are still freezing!"

"D-d-don't you m-m-ake f-f-un!" Szayel tried to yell but it only came out a whisper. "O-r I-i-i."

"Yea, we know…" Aaroniero brushed off the threat and turned to Grimmjow who was sitting up in bed. "You know, your feet are really cold."

"Sorry. And here's something for you: Stop accidentally rolling onto my pillow. Your glass head hurts like hell!"

"Okay."

"…Okay?" Grimmjow paused. Wasn't this supposed to be an argument? "Okay!"

"Anyone want breakfast?" Tia yawned and slid her feet to the floor. "I am up for some nice fish or-"

"Fish! Friskies!" Grimmjow cried before he could censor himself and say something like, 'oh, I wouldn't mind fish.' Or 'Do you by chance know were that little can of food went?'

"All right. One down." Tia counted, figuring she would have to make all of them different food as usual. "What would you like, Ionue-san?"

"Um… Anything would be nice." Orihime replied, yawning as well.

"And…you two?"

"T-t-t-to-o c-c-cold. T-t-t-to eat!"

"Figured. We'll let you warm up and then feed you something." Tia gathered some clothes and headed off to the bathroom to get changed into something cooler. Why she wanted to to be colder, she only had one idea. Like Grimmjow who did not seem to mind the cold as he was a Hollow Cat, she supposed it were the same as she were a Shark and they did not mind the cold of the depths of the ocean.

Leaving Szayel and Nnoitra to a horrible disadvantage as they were Insect Hollows. Which, until now, Tia had no idea that the cold would make them freak out like this.

As for Aaroniero, who knew what the heck he/they/it was.

"I'm back and look as beautiful as ever." Tia announced, walking in with a T-shirt and shorts on. Making Szayel and Nnoitra stare. "And no, I am not insane."

She walked over to the nicer miniature fridge that they bought a month ago and opened the door. "And we have…" Tia stared into the vast emptiness in front of her. "Nothing… What happened?"

"Uh…Tia-san…" Orihime blushed as he suddenly remembered. "I…wanted a small midnight snack and well… I'm sorry!"

Tia closed her eyes and slammed her head into the fridge, leaving a dent. "Why does this happen to me?! I'm hungry and now there is nothing to eat because, becaus-"

"Tia." Grimmjow cut in before she blew her top and flooded all of them. "Flooded?!" He suddenly screamed. What the- "Wait! Tia! You have water powers?!"

"Yes. So?!" She yelled, turning on him.

"You could have saved the apartment when it was on fire!"

"What?!" Szayel screamed, making everyone in the floor above and below, wince or wake up. "What the hell do you mean?!"  
"How could I have been so stupid?!" Grimmjow yelled, angry with himself.

"Because you are!" Nnoitra threw his pillow across the room at his face. "Now shut up!"

"But how didn't I see that Tia could have saved the-"

"I don't care about the old apartment!" Tia finally screamed, "I like this one better so it doesn't matter at all! I'm hungry and-" She grabbed her purse off the coffee table. "I'm going out! If any of you want to join me you can!"

* * *

"I'm sorry about yelling." Grimmjow apologized a hour later as he and Tia walked down the street together. The others decided to stay indoors where it might be warmer and so it was only the two of them yet again.

"It's okay… I just get angry when I am hungry." Tis reached out and gently took his hand in hers. "And besides, I yelled at you as well."

"True." Grimmjow said, noting the way the white snow falling from the sky alighted on Tia's striking yellow hair. Causing it to look as if it were covered in a fine lace. "And it…"

"And what?" She asked a moment later, not hearing him continue his thought out loud.

"It…makes you look so…beautiful." Grimmjow muttered, adding, "The snow, I mean."

Tia stopped walking and turned to face him, her eyes meeting his own bright blue. "Say that again. This time, as a full sentence, will you?"

"W..why?" He stammered, taken aback by her sudden confrontation.

"Because, I say so. I want to hear all of your thoughts."

"All right…" Grimmjow shoved his hands in the pockets of his navy sweatshirt, glancing down as he did so. "Tia, the snow falling-"

"Hey." She snapped, a small smile creeping onto her face. Any man who could not look at her while speaking had to be a keeper.

Many of the other male Arrancar only found her chest attractive and could stare at it all day long with a grin on their faces. "Look at me when you speak please."

"Ah, okay." Grimmjow nodded and looked up, his face turning a slight shade of red. "Um…Tia-"

"Don't start with um, please."

"Tia, the snow falling in um-"

"Try again." Tia laughed, loving how much work she was putting him through. "And once you say it completely without stammering, we can move on to the next step."

"And that is?" Grimmjow wondered what more there could be.

"Saying it while looking in my eyes."

"Shit… that's gonna be a job."

"I know you can do it though." Tia said, a thought crossing her mind as they stood on the street corner together.

"All right. I will just do it all at once." Grimmjow looked up again and into her deep sea green eyes. If he had the strength to climb his way to the top the Hollow chain of evolution, he could talk to the one he loved without flinching. "Tia, the snow in your hair looks like lace and makes you look beautiful beyond my wildest dreams."

The two stood in the snow, silent.

Tia raised her hands and slowly began to clap them together. "Very good. I am proud."

"You are welcome."

"However, I am wondering if you dream of me."

"…Sometimes, yes. Sometimes I wish we-"

"Could live life in peace." Tia finished, reading the thoughts in his head. "If we are forced to battle in Japan, who knows what will become of us."

"Yes. For once in my existence, I am full of doubt." Grimmjow confessed, unsure of the emotion that was slowly taking over his mind as of late. "And, what are we fighting for anyhow?"

Tia sighed and glanced up at the grey sky over head, snow falling on her face. "I do not know. That is why I…think it may be in our best interest to use the time we have in the Human World to run away. Far away. I am not going to sacrifice the life I have for something I do not understand. "

* * *

Author's note: Aw... I love Tia and Grimmjow! Yeah, that is the one thing I never figured out. What were the Espada fighting for anyhow? No. really. Think about this... Sure Aizen gave them powers, but... what were they to get out of Aizen taking over the world. (Which at the time only seemed to be Karakura Town. Why not go after Soul Society? hum?)


	40. EPIC WIN!

"Would you two just stop fighting already?" Aaroniero huffed from his bed where he picked up his current book, hoping to find some peace. The Old Married Couple, however were more annoying that ever.

"Hell no!" Szayel yelled, "He started it."

"No," Nnoitra cried, a scowl on his face. "I did not!"

"Wait!" Orihime finally cut in. At first she thought that maybe it would be best to let the battle simmer away after Tia and Grimmjow left; but an hour later, she had enough as well. "What in the world are you two fighting about anyway?"

"He was hogging the damn blankets." Nnoitra said, yanking the covers a little more to his side of the bed. "And he always does when he sleeps."

"I understand." Orihime laughed a little, remembering when she had sleepovers with Tatsuki and the same would occur. "But, you two have to stop yelling and work it out rationally."

"I would say so." Aaroniero looked over his book at the scene, "since when did you two start fighting anyhow? I am sure there was a lot more love going around when you first met, no?"

The Old Married Couple shared a long glance. "No."

It was Orihime and Aaroniero's turn to share a long glance. "No? Even when you two met for the first time?"

"Are you frickin' kidding me?" Szayel asked, unsure who had their head in the dark.

"We were born rivals." A wild grin crept across Nnoitra's face as he recalled the good old days.

"No." Szayel added, seeing the listening party raise an eyebrow. "It is true. Back when we were nothing but Adjuchas, it-"

"What is an Adjuchas?" Orihime never heard of that term before.

"That's the level before Vasto Lorde and how we became Espada is a really long ass story." Nnoitra said, "Anyhow, when we were weaker and a lower class of Hollows, we were hardly harmonious."

"That would be the last word I would ever use." Szayel noted, "and if I had ever thought I would be sharing a bed with you, I would have let myself become a Gillian again."

"Me too." Nnoitra laughed at sudden idea of traveling back in time to talk to his old self. "Anyhow-"

"I was not finished. And since, you are the main character of my past, I think it would be nice if I got to tell it."

"Yeah.. I get to tell of all my awesome victories, though."

"Yeah, yeah…" Szayel brushed off Nnoitra's orders. "I don't care. When I was an Adjuchas-"

"You know the way you say that, makes you sound like an old man."

"I know, Nnoitra! Shut the hell up!"

"Yeah…"

"Going on. When I became Adjuchas, there were around a hundred or two hundred of us. Well, that's what I heard from the other hollows anyhow. And the numbers began to dwindle swiftly as this one here," Szayel paused to point at Nnoitra who's grin became wider, "sliced us up like we were paper. It was rather smart in fact, chasing after one Adjuchas until he killed them and moved on. Now, I was rather lucky. I had wings at that time which I could use to fly. That is the one thing I miss to this day… anyhow, moving on. Soon, I was next on Nnoitra's hit list and I managed to avoid being killed for quite a good amount of time. By him and my fellow Adjuchas who were afraid of me as I were being hunted do-"

"By the strongest frickin' hollow in the whole world." Nnoitra added with a laugh.

Szayel sighed. "…And… that's and… of course, you caught up to me and that is when I met Grimmjow for the first time."

"Yeah… He stopped me from chopping up the damn Butterfly I had been after for years. Damn cat."

"Well, he did do one good thing." Szayel continued, "At that time, my stupid brother, Yylfordt was traveling with me. I made him into a hollow to serve as, hopefully, 'Nnoitra bait' and he decided to head off with Grimmjow's gang. Much to my relief. I was getting tired of his insanity by then."

"And then I found you again a good time later, all alone." Nnoitra cut in before he could begin a rant about his stupid brother.

"Yes, you did." Szayel hated to admit to his short coming that caused that meeting.

"All 'cause you evolved between that time and you could no longer fly. So I followed you little foot prints. And then-"

"You coul-"

"Don't say it or I'm gonna take all your blankets and toss them out the damn window!" Nnoitra cried, not wanting to remember this part of the story. "That's far enough, okay?'

"…What?" Szayel glanced up, a grin on his own face, "Afraid? Well, let us just say he was so taken by my beauty, and my brains. Especially my brains as he had a certain Arancarr he wanted to rid of. In the end,he could not kill me. So, that is how I exist today. Although, I have to say, I chopped him up pretty well and-"

"You crushed all my organs!" Nnoitra cried, thankful he was able to regenerate them. "Like little bugs and-"

"At least I did not eat them. If I had, you would have not evolved any farther. Honestly, you should have see him beg. It was a glorious scene. The great Adjuchas Hunter, finally on his knees, pleading for his life."

"And…?" Aaroniero wanted to get to the good part of the story. "When did you two kiss and like go out for the first time?"

"…Go out? In Hueco Mundo? Are you daft in the head?" Szayel snickered, "We finally got along after…well, that is another story and I suppose we just evolved romantically from there and that is our story."

"…Yeah…" Aaroniero scowled and set his book down. "But when did you kiss?"

"It's none of your business!" Szayel cried, throwing a pillow at the Ninth Espada's head. "Just except it!"

"…Aw….but…"

"I said just-" Szayel was cut off by a sudden commotion outside.

"Get back here, you delicious meal!" A deep voice yelled slowly. "I want to eat you!"

"Geez…" Nnoitra sighed, "another stupid hollow to land on next time I fall out the window."

"Fall? No, may I remind you that you were trying to escape and flattened me, instead?" Szayel corrected, his hand gingerly rubbing his neck as he remembered the results of being crushed. "Don't worry, I took your advice and put my sword somewhere else less dangerous."

"Good." Nnoitra reached over and patted him on the head, only to get a glare in return. "Now, I wonder who soon be hollow lunch." He climbed out from under the covers, despite it being cold, and walked to the window. Who ever it was, he was not going to risk missing a good fight.

Nnoitra glanced down into the alleyway next to the Apartment Building and saw a large Toad Hollow towering over…"Wait…Szayel, come here…"

"Why?" He asked, not wanting to get out bed.

"'Cause this is so funny."

"Really?" Szayel was suddenly intrigued and climbed out of bed and walked over the window. By the time he reached it, he was already beginning to shake under the three layers of clothes he was wearing. "W-w-who is it?"

"Look d-d-down." Nnoitra said, his teeth beginning to clash together. "It…"

Szayel stared in shock at what he saw below. There was no way, this could really be happening. "…What the…" There in the snow, his lips turned blue, well, actually his whole face, his white hands shaking as they held a sword, in rather ragged clothes, was none other then Ulquiorra.

Szayel gave Nnoitra a look. "D-d-do you th-think we sh-h-ould flatten h-h-im?"

"Nah…" Nnoitra didn't feel like falling six stories into the cold and snow, and then have to walk back up the steps. "I-t-t-"

"Hey, who is it, you haven't told me!" Aaroniero came over to the window to see for himself who or what the two were debating landing on below. " And what did I miss abo- What?!" He cried, seeing the person, "That's-"

Nnoitra and Szayel had the same thought at the same time. Nnoitra grabbed the back of Aaroniero's shirt, Szayel opened the window and-

"You stupid piece of trash." Ulquiorra tried his best to make his frozen lips frown. "Do you not comprehend that I am an Espada? I am Ulquiorra Scha-"

"YES!" Szayel and Nnoitra threw their hands in the air as Aaroniero landed on the target after falling gracefully through the sky. "EPIC WIN!"

The two high-fived and doubled over laughing.

* * *

Author's note: I love this chapter. (Poor Aaroniero.)

On another note, I was researching Hollow Evolution on Bleach wiki, and it makes no sense... as Adjuches have semi-human forms and look more like the fraccion of the Espadas by the definition feel more like Vasto Lordes due to their human looks and yet look like animal still. Yet, Tia is the only one who is a known Vasto Lorde at the time she became an Espada...

Yeah, I am really confused.

So, I am making up my own personal details as followed for the sake of my story and readers and otherwise. Aka my sanity. (And will be used across the span of my many Bleach fan-fictions.)

Okay. We have our basic hollow: Loud, hungry and rather stupid, but not completely so. And still looks like a giant animal/thing and has a few powers. (I am staying with the ones already set in place by Bleach Wiki. Moving on.) They eat a lot of human souls and eventually, turn into:

Menos Grande (Aka Gilligans) And are giant towers of doom that according to our dear wiki, one souls inside a Gilligan can take control of the whole being. Unless another one overrides it. (It's a lotta hard work to stay yourself inside a huge sea of…blah.) and have a lot of awesome powers including a basic Cero. And after eating a whole crew of your fellow (and rather stupid) Gillians. you become an:

Adjuchus (And this is where it gets confusing and prompted me to write this little guide. That might change if I come up with any new and interesting ideas. I just want to give my readers an idea.) There are a lot less of these bulky smaller-sized and little more animal looking hollows. But not giant and stupid like their first form. The also may look semi-human and have legs to walk on. They eat their other hollows and Adjuchus and have their own powers that are unique to them alone. However, if they don't eat other hollows, they returned to Gilligan form and can never become an Adjuchus again. Nor can any of the other souls inside them take over and return to Adjuchus form. But if any part is lost to another hollows, they cannot become Vasto Lordes or go back to Gilligan form.

(Now here is where I am going to add something as the leap from Adjuchus to Vasto Lorde is too large.)

And after successfully eating a whole boat full of your friends and all, you become a

Menos Lorde: (Self Creations ahoy!) A lower class of Vasto Lord who still have some animal attributes and yet look rather human in size and form. With the eception of some cat ears or butterfly wings. And now you have a second set to individual powers and must still eat your friends. (Hey, they are aren't bad if you use some mustard and sauerkraut.) And any other hollow you loathe. Or just 'cause you are cranky and hungry.  
Then. Finally.

The Vasto Lordes. The most powerful group of hollows who are the size of humans and have awesome powers.  
Now, according to the good ol' Bleach Wiki, any hollow who removes it's mask becomes amazingly powerful. (That's why Tia, who is a Vasto Lorde was almost defeated by a basic hollow who took it's mask off.) and also in the Wiki, it states that any Arrancar who looks more human in appearance was a higher level to begin with.

So, here are the things we know.

Tia was a Vasto Lorde, so she looks almost human when she releases her sword. (Which is actually just regressing back to what they were before they became Arrancar. And all their animal attributes return.)

And we know that Fish-tank is of Gilligan Class. (Which has me confused. But this isn't my story…)

And Grimmjow must at least be a Vasto Lorde or a Menos Lord as he looks rather human when he a kitty. (Yea!) Nnoitra and Szayel must be at least Menos Lordes (I mean, these two surely took the world of hollows by storm.) and Nnoitra is so tall, it's not funny when he hits his head walking though the doorway anymore. It's just painful. Ulquiorra as well as he is of mostly human size….

Starrk, I have no clue on although I am assuming Vasto Lorde class. Barragan was the king of Heuco Mundo. He has to be one as well. And  
Zommari, must be Adjchus as he still looks like a pumpkin and strange. (This is where the rule of the mask removal comes in.

Yammy is… Yammy. I have no idea….

So, those are my thoughts on the matter as of right now. They may change a little in the next few days if I come up with anything else interesting. And I apologize for the spelling of all these weird names. It took me forever to learn how to spell all of characters names. Thanks.


	41. 9 4 S (S D G) C - FS Trash

Ulquiorra ate snow.

It tasted like trash.

"AHHH!" Aaroniero screamed in his ear. "Why me! Why me, Aizen-sama! I didn't deserve to be tossed out the window! WHAAA!"  
Ulquiorra felt the rest of his face go numb. What the hell just landed on him?

It was loud.

Very loud.

Trash, was quite.

This was confusing.

"I hate you two!" Aaroniero screamed at the window above where he watched Szayel and Nnoitra laugh their heads off. "I am going to come back up there and kill you! Do you hear me, we kill you!"

"Ow…" Ulquiorra muttered, realizing he was feeling pain. "I was hit by trash."

"And why do you not hear us, Aizen-sama?! I scream at you and you do not listen! Spare us from being harmed! You promised you would!"

"And where is my sword?" Ulquiorra asked no one as he realized he was no longer holding it in his hands. "I need my sword back, you flying trashcan."

"AHHH-what?" Aaroniero stopped his screaming and glanced down. "WHAA?!" He was laying on top of Ulquiorra. Smashing him like a bug. "AHH!"

"AHHH!" Ulquiorra added, realizing what landed on him. "YOU!"

"It wasn't me! They grabbed me and threw me out the window!" Aaroniero grabbed Ulquiorra's neck in a death grip. "You have to believe me!"

"…I don't speak with trash like yourself, trashcan."

"AHHH!" The Ninth Espada screamed, "Why do you call me Trashcan?!"

"Because you are. You eat disgusting things and you have a tank for a head. So, trashcan."

"WHHHYY?! Why am I ridiculed so, Aizen-sama?! Why must I-"

"Oye! Fishtank!"

Aaroniero sat up and saw Nnoitra sticking his head out the window far above him.

"You alive?!"

"…Uh…" Aaronieo glanced at his toes. They moved. He cautiously flexed his ten fingers…"Yeah….I'm alive."

"Good!" Nnoitra pulled his head back into apartment and shut the window with a slam. "Wow…that was fun."

"I'd like to hear him scream all day." Szayel reached up and wiped tears of laughter off his face. "If only there were someone else we could…"

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Nnoitra wondered as he began to grin.

"Yes…then we could be rid of both of them in one…"

"And they'd live happily ever after, no?" Nnoitra laughed. It was so simple. "I mean she…."

"Yes, I know. Don't think that I missing all the courting going on in Los Noches."

"Wait. Szayel, we are missing one detail here that is rather critical in our plan."

"What is that?"

"Inoue is a Human. She could never fall that far…"

"…Not if Ulquiorra caught her."

"True…" Nnoitra and Szayel turned to find Orihime standing by the couch, armed and ready to strike.

"Throw me out of that window and I will kill you." She warned, ready to slice them both in two pieces with Tsubaski. "But, if you would be so kind as to escort me down the steps to see Ulquiorra, I would not object."

"…Damn." Szayel muttered, "You're no fun."

"I swear he or Fishtank would catch you." Nnoitra tried to assure her.

"It's not gonna work, gentlemen." Orihime stated, walking over to the coat rack where her winter coat was hanging. "Now, take me downstairs."

Szayel and Nnoitra stared at her like she was insane.

"What?" Orihime asked, a small scowl on her face. "What is wrong?"

"We aren't going outside." Szayel said, fixing his glasses.

"…Why?"

"Oh…" Nnoitra realized she had not been here more than twenty-four hours. "Yeah… we don't go outside unless we want to freeze into iced over Espadas."

"Don't question. Obey." Szayel ordered, watching her open her mouth to speak. "If you want to go to Ulquiorra, you can, but I am staying up here and that is final. You can deal with that stupid hollow yourself."

"…Oh…" Orihime paused, a thought coming to her mind. "Yes. Yes I can! If I can bust out of Hueco Mundo, I can get rid of a silly hollow!"

"Well…" Szayel began watching the young woman run out of the door of the apartment a minute later. "I think we did good."

"Yes." Nnoitra agreed as he shuffled back over to the bed to climb in. "Good had been done here."

* * *

When Orihime reached Ulquiorra, he was sitting up and brushing the snow off his ragged clothes while Aaroniero danced around in a panic.

"AHHH! I landed on my Superior! They are gonna kill us! AHHHH!"

"Oh, shut up, will you?' Ulquirorra had enough of a head ache already from being crushing by a flying piece of trash. "If you shu-"

His eyes went wide.

"Miss. Orihime?" Was it really her? Here? In the snow?

"Yes!" Orihime ran over and threw her arms around his neck. "I had to come see you and… there is so much I have to tell you, darling!"

"Ah…" Ulquiorra was struck silent as embarrassment over come him.

* * *

Author's Note: Yes. Nnoitra quoted Veggie Tales that always somehow work in the line: "Good had been done here." Yeah... I am so excited. This story is about heat up and fast. Hold on to your seats, my dear readers!

and the title goes like this:

9 + 4 = S = (S+D + G) + C - FS = Trash

9 = Aaroniero + 4 = Ulquiorra + Snow = (Snow + Dirt + Grime) + Consumption - Flavored Syrup = Trash (Taste)

Somehow this site does not like + or = in their titles. Sorry about the letter mess.


	42. The Old Divorcees

Grimmjow was struck silent on the other hand, the moment he walked into the apartment half an hour later. "Wha…. WHAT THE HELL IS HE DOING HERE?! IN MY APARTMENT?!" He screamed, pointing to Ulquiorra who was sitting next to Orihime on the sofa. "Get out! Right now!"

"Why should I?" Ulquiorra asked, staring blankly back at him. "I out rank you. I can stay where every I want."

"Because I hate your ****** GUTS!"

"And there we have it…" Aaroniero muttered from where he was standing in his corner of the room. "The Old Divorcees."

"You can say that again." Nnoitra agreed, listening the two of them continue to yell and talk to one other. (Grimmjow doing most of the yelling and Ulquiorra doing the talking.) "Are you sure they didn't have a fling way back when?"

Szayel sighed and coved his ears with his hands. "I have no idea. Wouldn't be surprised though…Only couples can yell this loud."

"And how do you know that?" Aaroniero had never been in a relationship before in his whole existence.

"Do you think that Nnoitra and I never broke up?"

"Oh…" the Ninth Espada blushed, realizing that he was in the dark. "Yeah…"

"What happened?" Was his next question, followed by, after he did not get a reply, "HEY! Grimmjow, did you and Ulquiorra ever go out?!"  
The Old Divorcees froze.

"What the…" Ulquiorra stared at Aaroniero in shock.

All the long blue hair on Grimmjow's head stood straight up in the air. "The…frick?!"

"Well…" Aaroniero grinned, both of his brains singing happy-toons. "I guess I got my answer. "

"Hell no, you didn't!" Grimmjow screamed, "I never would have even thought about going out with that thing!"

"Would have?" Szayel raised an eyebrow, giving Nnoitra a glance. "It is me?"

"Nope…"

"And if you hadn't taken me to that damn bar and gave me a three fingers of whiskey, I would have never kissed you."

"Yeah, and then I punched your lights out until next week. There is no way I would ever go out with a man!" Grimmjow declared, trying to remember that sad trip to bar. "And you wouldn't either! You thought I was Orihime, you jerk!"

"Oh, who is speaking?" Ulquiorra rolled his eyes. "You thought I was Tia, you trash."

"So…" Tia snickered, the mental image coming to mind.

"That's how it went." Orihime blushed and tried not to laugh. "But, can I ask something? I don't really have a place to live… I slept in a hotel room last night and I and Ulquiorra could cook for all of you, if you'd let us stay, Tia-san."

"There is no way he's gonna-"

"Grimmjow!" Tia snapped. Orihime was kind of homeless as the rest of them. And so was Ulquiorra. Not that she liked him at all, so insulting with a limited Vocabulary. "I vote they stay the night as I have a plan forming in my head at the moment that involves them. Now, Aaroniero, what are your thoughts on this?"

"I guess…they can stay." Aaroniero muttered, not sure that either party was to happy about this. At least, no one could beat him up anymore. Ulquiorra included. Being one number lower than Tia. Therefore he was safe from any harassment.

"Nnoitra?"

"…Whatever. As long as I don't have to share with the two of them." Sharing a bed with Szayel was hard enough with the way he stole the blankets and talked weird things in his sleep. Honestly, what kind of person muttered the Elements Song in their sleep?

"Szayel?" Tia asked, giving Grimmjow a look as he gave Nnoitra the finger.

"I don't care as long as I don't have to share." Szayel said, hobbling over to his warm bed and crawling under the covers before Nnoitra could beat him there. "And if the Old Divorcees keep it quite and let me get some sleep around here."

"The Old Divorce-"

Tia put her hand over Grimmjow's mouth and Orihime jabbed Ulquiorra in the ribs.

Hard.

"And I vote they stay." Tia stated. "And so, you two are outvoted. You are staying here for the rest of the next Twenty-four hours."

Szayel and Nnoitra had to laugh as they watched Ulquiorra and Grimmjow silently scream.

"And." Tia glanced at her watch, "You two. Szayel, Nnoitra, should be going. You have to get to the theatre by five and it is four thirty. And to spare you the cold…" She walked over to her bed and pulled a twenty out of her purse, "Take a cab."

"Why didn't you give this to us earlier?" Nnoitra asked as he shuffled over to Tia's bed, trying his best to walk in three pairs of pants, six shirts, three pairs of socks, and three winter jackets.

"It wasn't snowing yesterday." Tia replied, her voice telling Nnoitra to shut up and just take the money. "Now, get going while you can with out your ears being blow off."

Nnoitra glanced over his shoulder at Grimmjow and Ulquiorra who were beginning to argue again. "Will do."

* * *

Author's Note: Aw... Tia is so nice!

And I had to touch a little on GrimmUlqui! I can see the incident in the bar right now!


	43. What Did We Learn On The Show Tonight?

"So men," Tia began, sitting a large cake on the table in front of her present company the next day after Grimmjow finally calmed down and realized that Ulquirorra wasn't going to kill him. And reluctantly agreed to let him stay until he found a better place of residence.

("Far, far frickin away from me!" Grimmjow stated.)

"I have come up with a plan that will get us all what we desire. And promotion. A large one. If we can pull this off." Tia said as she sat down at the table, a smile on her false face. "If at all."

"What do you mean by, at all?" Szayel asked, sliding his glasses back up at his face. Since they were his hollow mask, he thought they might stay put. But no, they had to move all the frickin' time!

"Promotion!" Aaroniero cried, his two voices yelling at once. "Can I have his job?!" He pointed at Szayel who looked way up at the ceiling.

"Even better." Tia laughed, "you can have Grimmjow's."

"What?!" Grimmjow yelled in her ear. "What do you mean-"

"Calm down!" Tia snapped, before everyone began yelling at her. "Shut up and listen to this plan. It's not going to be easy, but the pay off will be amazing. Okay. We have Starrk, Baraggan and Zommari wandering around. If we can kill them, we can have their places. Second. Aizen wants us to join him in Japan and I realized today that we can use Garganta to travel there."

"Geez!" Aaroniero yelled, throwing his hands into the air. "Why didn't you say so before I was forced to sleep in a homeless shelter?!"

"And before I had to fuckin' cook!"

"And dye my stunning hair to black!"

"…At least they have normal cake around here…" Grimmjow observed, trying not to drool over the large frosted cake on the table. "That is not Zorro themed or tasted like dirt from Zorro's homeland, to say the least."

"Gentlemen!" Tia cried, standing up to tower over all of them. "I am sorry I did not remember. And in the long run, I think it was better we didn't remember in the first place. Or we would have never had fun crashing a wedding reception or would have all ended up getting a long. We would not be where we are today or realize that…we have lives and a most of all, a desire to live."

A silence fell around the table.

All of the Espada glanced at one another. (Orhime was out buying food to restock the fridge.)

Grimmjow sighed and put his right elbow in the table. "…I guess you are right."

"Yeah…" Nnoitra hated to admit that Tia of all people were right, but did so anyhow. "And I learned that…That….Szayel, what did I learn?"

"Um…?" Szayel sat back in his chair in thought. "Um… that you want to continue on your life long killing rampage?"

"…Yeah! That's it."

"And I learned I was useful." Aaroniero announced proudly, only to hear half-joking 'boo's' from present company. "And that I am appreciated."

"That's nice." Grimmjow noted, "I learned two things. One that, never be afraid to speak to the one you love. Second, Ulquiorra's still a pain in the ass. Can we get rid of him too, Tia?"

"No. We need him."

"Shit. Anyhow, what did you learn, Mr. Gloomy?"

"You can't sue McDonalds for a Million Dollars and walk away with money in your pocket once Starrk learns where you hid it all." Ulquiorra said with a sigh. All that money went to the local bar and he had no say in the matter as Starrk was higher ranking than he was. "And that…You might be landed on by a trashcan and yet you still find true love. Somehow. I don't know how Orihime found me."

"Long story." Tia said, remembering Orihime's whole explanation when she first arrived at the apartment. "And now, it is Szayel's turn. What did you learn. I am curious."

"Um…" Szayel began. "Um….What did I learn? Nnoitra?"

"I donno…"

"Um…Humans will always be stupid." Szayel tried and only got a glare from Tia.

"Deeper then that!" She ordered, "I know you learned something valuable."

"…What if I didn't?"

"Then, I am afraid I would have to kill you. You had to have learned something while you were in the Human World."

"Okay…" Szayel sighed and said, not sure if he should, but did anyhow. "That Nnoitra here, loves me so much he actually saved…my life. And he managed to say, 'I love you' which was actually something that I have been wanting to hear for a good decade."

"Wow…" Grimmjow muttered, impressed by Nnoitra's bravery. "I'm…"

"Whatever." Nnoitra half-yelled. "I said something mushy. Tia, your turn!"

"Wait!" Szayel held up his hand, "I am not done yet. I… I wanted to say something more. My existence would be…rather boring without you, Nnoitra. Your turn, Tia."

"Then-what?" Tia paused. Had she just heard him say that his life would be boring without Nnoitra? A non-direct 'I love you?'

"Yes, I said, I love you back. Move on!"

"All right….All right…" Tia sat back down and let out a long sigh. "I…guess I learned a few things about love. And friendship. I know it sounds…however, I realized that I don't want to sacrifice both of them for something I don't understand. Now, here is the second step to our plan. We remove Aizen from his throne…and this is how we will do it…."

The Espada listened to her plan, laughing all the way to the end. It was brilliant and would leave everyone speechless.

And if my readers must know, Ulquiorra cracked a smile.

* * *

Author's Note: Yep. This is really going down. I am sorry to all of the fans of Baraggan, Zommari and Starrk. (Kinda.) As for Szayel's Glasses... Why DO they slide? It is really such a pain to have to fix them all the time. And thanks to Junie B. Jones for 'Looking way up at the ceiling' Line! and The Vicar of Dibley for 'Then I am afraid I am going to have to kill you' line!


	44. Aaroniero Arrurueire The Sexiest Espada

"And so….Why am I stuck with you?" Aaroniero asked Szayel as they crept around another corner, hot on the trail of a very, very drunk Zommari a few days later. The two of were bundled up for winter weather. Aaroniero wore a layers of two of warm clothes and a scarf and gloves. Szayel on the other hand, had three winter coats, two pairs of gloves, two scarves, three hats, earmuffs, a pair of Long Johns under his two pairs of pants and one thick scarf tied around his face.

Finding Zommari was hardly a task as all they had to do was wait until night and follow the trail of beer bottles and bar room brawls. It took a while to find a path, but soon Szayel and Aaroniero discovered a local disturbance through gossip.

A disturbance of a Bar Surfer who never payed and somehow escaped being arrested. And what was more, the description was that of a weird voo-doo guy with a shark tooth necklace.

Szayel and Aaroniero did not have to look farther.

They had their man.

"I donno…" Szayel whispered back, watching Zommari stumble around the brick alleyway, trying to open the door to Diagon alley, as evidenced by his mutterings.

"I…I swear… Hagrid said…" The dark-skinned Aarancarr, reached a hand out to the wall, "It's.. Three to the right… One…other right…"

"This just doesn't seem fair…" Aaroniero whispered to Szayel who was making sure that his three winter coats stayed buttoned. "I mean, he's…really, really far out drunk."

"I know… But, you and I would never stand a chance if he were not drunk."

"True…" Aaroniero sighed and fixed his baseball hat on his head. "How do you think Tia is doing with Starrk?"

"Don't want to know." Szayel admitted, knowing Starrk was a ladies man and well, Tia… She he had a rather large sized chest. "And don…too late…" He said, seeing Aaroniero's face turn bright red. "My real concern is Ulquiorra and Grimmjow's job on Baraggan. I just hope they are at least trying to get along."

"But how am I supposed to get along with trash like yourself, Grimmjow?" Ulquiorra wondered as he watched Baraggan talk to the bartender from a corner table.

"I don't know." Grimmjow scowled, hating sitting here in the dark with his arch-enemy. "And I don't care. Let us just get the job done and go home. I go back to the apartment, you go to the landfill."

"How dare you!" Ulquiorra gasped, "I-"

Grimmjow put his hand over his mouth. "Shh… Baraggan might hear you make a scene!"

"…And so?" Ulquiorra asked, not liking the feeling of icky sweaty hand over his mouth.

"And so, you should shut up and sit down. We will get him when he leaves…"

"And who put you in charge?"

"It doesn't matter, Ulquiorra! And by the way, you suck at this job."

"What job?" The Fourth Espada asked.

"This one." Grimmjow used his other hand to point at Barraggan. "And if you don't do what I say, I am going to complain to Tia."

"I don't take orders from Trash like her."

"Oh… You do not want to say that in front of her." Grimmjow warned, knowing that if she were here, she would have smashed Ulquiorra's head into the table by now. "Sit down and…have some water."

Neither of them were touching the beer or any other drink after that horrible trip to the bar that ended with a yucky kiss.

* * *

"AHHH!" Aaroniero and Szayel yelled as something grabbed their shoulders.

"AH-" Szayel recognized that hand anywhere. He turned around and asked in a hushed voice after pulling his scarf down, "Nnoitra, what are you doing here?"

"I thought I might leave Tia to deal with Starrk. He's honestly standing in the alleyway, staring at her chest. What a pervert."

"Oh… Not unlike like yourself, no?" Szayel laughed, noting how Nnoitra's eye was staring at the many layers. His mind wandering. "…I forgive you however as my coat is rather sexy today."

"Yeah, you'd better." Nnoitra leaned down and kissed him roughly on the lips. "And I have to admit that the-"

"HEY!" Aaroniero cried, waving his hands in the air. "No one ever says hi to me that way! How come he gets a kiss and I don't! No one ever says, 'hey, Aaroniero Arrurueire, you look good today! Or, 'that winter coat makes you look sexy!' Or-"

"It's because you don't have a boyfriend!" Szayel yelled, turning on him. "If you get a boyfriend, you get kisses! That's is how it works!"

"But…" Aaroniero felt tears come to the corners of his eyes. "…I'm not cute or have any charm! How am I supposed to get a Girlfriend?!"

"I have no clue! That's your job!" Nnoitra yelled at him, completely ignored by Zommari who was still trying to find his way to Olivander's Wand shop. "And if you wa-"

"But…" Aaroniero began to cry. "I…"

"He is kinda right…" Szayel pointed out to Nnoitra. "He does have no charm at all. No lady would ever want to go out with him."

"So?" Nnoitra raised an eyebrow. "There is no way I'm smooching him. My kisses are for you only."

"True." Szayel said, glancing over his shoulder at Aaroniero who was now blubbering. "But…I think I have an idea. Come here, Aaroniero."

"W-w-what?" He whimpered as he scuttled over to his evil friends who didn't give a damn about his lack of romance in his life.

"Hello, friend, how is your day?" Szayel asked, taking Aaroniero by the shoulders and greeting him as a French man would, kissing him gently on both sides of the face. "You look very nice today."

"Ah…" Aaroniero blushed. "Um… I mean… You kinda sorta-"

"Hey, it's standard greeting in France. I don't mean anything by it, if that what you are thinking."

"Oh, sure." Nnoitra laughed, loving watching Aaroniero's face turn red."He's thinking all right."

"Well…" Aaroneiro began after his mind cleared up a good ten minutes later. "I…I think I…Like ladies… No offense to you, but…"

"None taken." Szayel waved it off and turned back to the project who was singing loudly now, Hogwarts all forgotten. "And I am sure you will find someone as weird as yourself one day or another."

"Why thank you so much, Sza-HEY!"

* * *

Author's Note: Poor Aaroniero... It is kinda true. I think it would be rather impossible to score a Lady Arrancar being a Fishtank. As for Zommari's mumblings, I have been reading too many Bleach/Harry Potter Crossovers. Hehe!

AHH! I forgot to bundle them up! That's fixed now, though. Enjoy.


	45. It Happened One Night In A Bar

Grimmjow and Ulquiorra sat in back of the dark bar. One thing on their minds, Baraggan watching forgotten.

The horrible kissing incident started only with a simple whiskey and simple phrase.

One Ulquiorra heard all his life.

"Come on! Cheer up a little!" Grimmjow cried, throwing his hands into the air after Ulquiorra mentioned having a fight Inoue earlier that day. "It was only a small fight, all can be fixed."

"How?" Ulquiorra wondered, having said many a harsh thing to the…woman.

"I'll show you." Grimmjow grabbed Ulquiorra's arm dragged him all the way to the bar in Los Noches that was the only place that tea was not allowed. Grimmjow burst through the saloon doors as if he were a American Cowboy and strutted over to the bar. "Bartender, two Whiskies. Stronger the better!"

"Coming right up." The Aarrancar with red hair behind the bar said with a smile. "And feel free to take a seat any where, Lord Grimmjow and Ulquiorra."

"Thanks." Grimmjow laughed as he dragged Ulquiorra over to two empty barstools at the counter to sit. "And let the fun begin!"

Ulquiorra sighed and closed his eyes. "How do you have fun by ingesting strange liquids?"

"What?" Grimmjow gasped, "Have you never had wine or anything before?'

"Of course I have. I just never found it to my liking."

"You haven't tried whiskey if you say that." Grimmjow told him, picking up the glass the Bartender slid towards him. "Cheers!"  
Ulquiorra stared at the tiny glass and at Grimmjow. "Cheers to what?"

"I donno. Being Espadas!"

"That's stupid."

"What ever! Just drink already!"

"You know," Ulquiorra began, "You are not being a good role model to our readers."

"So?" Grimmjow asked, not caring what the readers thought of him.

"Don't you think you should put a disclaimer about how you shouldn't drink for it is bad for your health and not to drink and drive?"

"Sure…" Grimmjow paused, thinking. "Don't drink, kids. And don't drive and drink at the same time. That goes for water as well. And don't cuss people out like Nnoitra. Is that good enough, Ulquiorra?"

"Yes. Now what should we…cheer to?"

"Toast." Grimmjow corrected. "How about what I said before, being Espadas and kicking ass every chance we get?"

"Well…" Ulquiorra raised his glass in to air hesitantly. "We don't kick ass every chance we get."

"…What do you mean?! We do!"

"No… we don't get that much screen time in our anime. Let alone the manga. Honestly, we are nothing but trash."

"There you go again, trash! What is with… Oh…" Grimmjow slowly set his glass down on the bar, reality just biting his face off. "You're right… This is sad… sad indeed. Bartender, another."

"Sure!"

"And…" Ulquiorra continued in his depressed mono-tone voice. "We are both defeated by acts of magic. I am not sure what it is called besides the hand of God. Or Tite, our author."

"What a shame…" Grimmjow waved his hand for another whiskey. "And…poor Szayel never stood a chance against the hand of God with that Magic Potion that came out of no where."

"Yes…it really did come out of nowhere. No reference to it before and how that captain what's his name actually changed his insides in such sort time, really pisses me off."

"Me too." Grimmjow sighed heavily. " The whole thing was conducted by the Hand of God. But on a happier note, we are talking about the future that we haven't lived yet. The Soul Reapers are still battling the Bount right now."

"Yeah, stupid vampire filler characters." Ulquiorra said with a sigh of remorse. "If only we could change our future."

"I know…" Grimmjow picked up one of the three glasses of whiskey for a toast. "To changing the future."

Ulquiorra agreed and the two clinked glasses.

"And…" Grimmjow blinked a few times after the strong drink left his mouth and made it's way up to his head. "I… If we change our future, we can be with the one's we love, right?"

"Of course." Ulquiorra muttered, feeling a little strange. "And here, is to the nameless ones we love."  
The second glass of Whiskey disappeared a moment later.

"Well…" Grimmjow slurred a little, setting his elbow on the bar. "Not so nameless. She just so happened to be called Tia Harribel. And… and I really like her. She's so quite and nice. I like quite women. They are always so wise."

"I know…" Ulquiorra agreed, "Orihime refused to talk to me for a really, really long time. I know it's sound kinda strange, so… buddy… keep this secret for me, will you?"

"Sure…Anything, pal." The two of them shared a laugh and pat on the back.

"Good." Ulquiorra grinned and his eyes became dreamy as he spoke. "I mean, it's kinda strange, and I am really glad yor a good pal Grimm. Have another drink. And now that I had five drinks, I tink I wanna talk. I have ta say that I think that I've fallen in love with Orihime. And it kinda… bothers me."

"How?" Grimmjow slurred, still a little more in tact than his good ol' buddy.

"Ya see… Orihime's a human, no? I'm….Arrancar. And so, that makes me wonder ya know, what kinda kids we'd have."

"I…I donno…." Grimmjow took another drink and downed it. "I just know that… Tia… Tia's really nice…and… we'd have nice little cat-shark kids."

"Ya…" Ulquiorra nodded. "That would be nice… as long as they don't bit your arm off."

"Heh…" Grimmjow laughed, taking yet another drink. "And I wanna ask you that we here um….You be my groom of honor, right? I mean, when we married."

"Course, little kitty pal. Get me anotter." Ulquiorra ordered, a smile creeping onto his face. "And when…wait while I drink…this good thing."

"Yeah, of course."

"And I when I get married to you, Orihime, I…I'll smile… like this…."

"That's nice…"

"I know." Ulquiorra let his smile fade away as it hurt like heck. "And you know, you are rather, attractive."

"You too, Tia." Grimmjow muttered, his face a little redder than it already was from all the drinks he had. "And I…I really like more than just your chest. You know that, right?"

"Yeah. I…" Ulquiorra wasn't sure what to say. Orihime was so nice to actually listen to his feeling and out right kiss him. "Oh, you are a good kisser after all."

"What did you think?"

"Wonderful. How about a good French Kiss to top it all off?"

"Great… here… Um…"

"Even better French Kisser…"

You've seen nothing yet; Want me to give you a cat bath?"

"Of cou-CAT BATH?!" Ulquiorra and Grimmjow found themselves eye to eye, arms around eachother's bodies and their lips locked together.  
"What?!" Ulquiorra screamed.

Grimmjow fell off the barstool and onto the hard floor. "You kissed me!"

"You're the one who French Kissed me, you-" Ulquiorra's world went black as a fist slammed into his face.

* * *

Author's Note: This chapter was brought to you by SpottedMask77 who wanted to know more about the horrible incident at the bar. Thanks!

And really, half of the Espada are defeated by the hand of God. Szayel in particular. (Made me so mad! I like Mayuri...but come on!) Stupid magic potion that we never heard of before and everything! It was just annoying! Mayuri was GodModing! AND! Szayel is so much awesome! I thought Szayel was cool and awesome before he transformed and then I was like:

OMGAHEUEBOUH! BUTTERFLY!

(I love butterflies so much! IEEE!)

WHY did he die?!

WHAAA!

(Okay, onto the next chapter...)


	46. RUN AWAY!

"And of course you had to have French Kissed me…" Ulquiorra muttered, setting his glass of water down in the table, glancing at Barraggan who was talking to yet another lady at the bar. "Do you know how much soap I had to eat to wash you out of my mouth?"

"I don't know. Don't care. On the other hand, it could have been worse."

"How?" Ulquiorra hated to ask, but had to know.

"Well.." Grimmjow sat back in his seat, sorting through the many rumors that sped around Los Notches fast than Aizen's tea was delivered.

"It could have been Nnoitra."

"True." Ulquiorra heard of the rumor that Grimmjow was thinking of. "That is one person I would never French Kiss."

"Agreed. And I have to say that Szayel wouldn't be much fun either. I mean, he'd just shred your tongue to bits like Nnoitra would."

"And that is why they are a good match for one another." Ulquiorra announced, pleased that the two had finally put aside their differences.

"And looking back, I can see where Nnoitra never cared for Neliel. Too kind."

"True." Grimmjow was not sure what went on in Neilel's head, but it made her too kind. "I still don't know how she climbed up the Hollow ranks with a heart like that. I killed a fly one day and she cried. I don't get it."

"Neither do I. Anyhow, I am thankful we don't have to be hunted down by Nnoitra anymore."

"…Kinda." Grimmjow corrected, remembering all the times in Los Notches where he would be walking down the hall and suddenly be under attack. "At least Szayel doesn't bite people's head off anymore."

"Still wrong." Ulquiorra sighed, remembering the time that a lone soul reaper was wandering around and Szayel turned the poor thing into a doll and literally bit it's head off it's body. "But… At least you and I try to get along."

"Correct." Grimmjow sighed. As much as he hated Ulquiorra, they had had some fun in the past. "Remember when we hung Starrk up outside Los Noches in nothing but his skieevies?'

"Yes… I do. Although, I have to say that changing Zommari's mediation music to scream-metal was a better time."

"True. But I think that the-"

"Chili Pepper in Aizen's Tea was the best."

The two cracked a smile and picked up their water glasses, "to good times."

"And I think we should get a move on." Ulquiorra announced, watching Baraggan leave the bar, headed for the door.

"Cool." Grimmjow set his glass of water down and carefully followed Baraggan out of the bar, followed closely by Ulquiorra. "And of course, he is thankfully, drunk."

"Which might be an advantage…" Ulquiorra watched Baraggan smash his fist into the brick wall next to the pub and the whole wall came down "Or not. He could be stronger."

"Great." Grimmjow groaned, having been hit by too many bricks all of sudden. "What do you wanna do?"

"I don't know." Ulquiorra admitted, "We will never stand a chance with him drunk."

"Or sober."

"And so, I think it would be best to…think of a second plan." Ulquiorra summed up. "I just hope that Tia and the other's are having more luck than us."

"Not so."

The two turned to see Tia walking towards them with a frown on her face."I realized he was more powerful when he's drunk. And so, after he stared at my chest for a good half an hour while I thought of a new plan, I left with out confronting him."

"You should say so." Grimmjow laughed, walking over to her. "Baraggan here has the same problem."

"I know. I heard your conversation. Now, let us go find Nnoitra who ran off to join Szayel and Aaroniero."

* * *

"Now what?" Szayel asked Nnoitra as Zommari transformed before their eyes in to a very odd pumpkin with too many eyes. The three of them had been hiding behind the corner when Zommari up and transformed for the heck of it. "I don't want to deal with him like this."

"Just stay hidden here." Nnoitra instructed, wondering how Zommari managed to speak the right words when he was so drunk. "And now we-"

"Amore, bricks! Amore, trash! Amore! Amore!"

A few of the people standing on the sidewalk across the street froze up as flower markings landed on their clothes

"We go home!" Nnoitra screamed, grabbing Szayel's arm as he took off down the sidewalk, followed by a screaming Aaroniero. "We don't want to mess with his freaky control powers!"

"What?!" Szayel yelled, keeping up with Nnoitra with ease as he could not run so easily in several layers of thick clothing. "Why did you run away?!"

"It's not running away! It's a tactical Retreat!"

"Same damn thing!" Szayel cried, understanding why they were running, but Nnoitra Gilga running away was something he'd never seen before in his life. "But I don't blame you! Now that I am starting to remember the time he almost snapped me in half!"

"Exactly! Besides, I came up with a better idea, thanks to your kiss!"

"What?! That makes no sense! Kisses don't give people more than one idea!"

"That too! But anyhow!" Nnoitra turned the corner of Edmund Street and continued running. "I was thinking that since there are going to be a hell of a lot of damn soul reapers for Aizen's stupid Battle to End all Battles, we should just let Zommari be come Soul Reaper Pumpkin pie! We don't even have to deal with him!"

"Good idea!" Szayel yelled back as he glanced over his shoulder. "HEY! Nnoitra! I think we lost Fishtank a block ago!"

"Yeah, I know! I am looping around to come back to him!"

Szayel reached his hand out and grabbed Aaroniero's hand as the two of them flew by. "Hey! Nice to have you join us!"

"Yeah!" Aaroniero cried, running for his life to keep up with the two. "Slow down!"

"No!" Nnoitra yelled, annoyed by the new addition already. "I have to get back to apartment and-"

The three of them sailed into Tia, Grimmjow and Ulquiorra at full speed.

* * *

Author's note: Oh no.


	47. Nnoitra: King of the Hill!

"...Nnoitra?" Was the first thing Nnoitra heard as he regain consciousness.

"You alive?"

"Who…?" He muttered from under the pile of Espada that he somehow ended up in the middle of.

"It's me, Fishta-Ow…" Aaroniero reached up to rub his glass tank "My heads just slammed into the glass…"

Even though they were wearing Gigais, their hollow masks and piece could still be felt (and hurt) under the guise; depending on how much damage was inflicted. (Accidentally hitting something like a kitchen cabinet, no problem. Running at full speed and crashing into the sidewalk, a lot of pain.)

"Ow….This really hurts! WAHH-"

"Shut up, Fishtank." Szayel hated being crushed yet again into the sidewalk. "My glasses hurt more than your stupid faces."

"You're the one talking?" Tia said from somewhere in the stack up. "Landing on your chest as a normal human is painful. Landing on your chest that just so happens to have part of your hollow mask on it, hurts more. Shut up."

"No way." Szayel argued, "I am in much more pain that you are right now. Nnoitra decided to land on me once again."

"True…But… Really. Try being a lady for a day."

"Whatever…" Grimmjow's muffled voice laughed, "Try having Ulquiorra's horn gouging into your ribs. You got such a dangerous mask, you know that, don't you, Ulquiorra."

"And at least I landed…somewhere." Ulquiorra said, not sure where he was. "But Trashcan's foot is in my mouth."

There was a long silence.

"…Ew."

"Ow! Those are my toes! Don't bite them!"

"That's my hollow mask you just hit!"

"Hey! Careful of the glasses!"

"That was my only eye you almost gouged out, Ulquiorra!" Nnoitra cried, not wanting to eyeless. "Don't you know I need that!"

"What we need is to shut up and figure out how to get out of this heap." Grimmjow announced. "If everyone would stop moving."

And for once, they did.

Soon, Szayel realized he was at the bottom of the pile, followed by Tia, then Grimmjow, Ulquiorra, Aaroniero and…

"Yeah!" Nnoitra cried, standing up after untangling his limbs from his fellow Espada. "I landed on top of all of you! I am The King of-"

"Hey, honey, help me outta here, will you?"

He turned to the pile of Espada and reached a hand out. "Here." Szayel took his hand and was free from the bottom of the stack a second later. "Thanks. But…ow…my face!"

"We could use a little help here!" Grimmjow cried a few seconds later.

Nnoitra sighed and after helping Szayel sit down on a bench a few feet away, went back to heap. "Okay. Fishtank, next. And, you and you and…. Tia, I think you can get up on your own."

"No way. Help me up!" Tia yelled at him.

"But…" Nnoitra was suddenly confused. "You….You said I shouldn't treat you like a weak woman."

"True." Tia realized that asking him to help her up, was contradicting all her screaming at him in the months before. "But…just help me stand up as a person."

"Yeah. Can do." Nnoitra reached a hand out and helped Tia to her feet. Soon everyone was sitting on the bench. Grimmjow rubbing his face, Ulquiorra and Aaroniero rubbing their heads with their hands. Tia had her arms crossed and Szayel had his head in his hands.

"Wow." Nnoitra muttered, sitting down to rub his eye patch that thankfully stayed in tact. "That was a stack up."

"It was." Szayel agreed, "and a painful one at that."

"I have a headache!" Aaroniero complained loudly, wishing he did not have a glass tank for once. "And it hurts!"

"That is why it is called a headache!" Szayel screamed at him. "And I have one too! Shut the hell up already!"

"Wanna puke." Ulquiorra confessed, "Shoe in mouth is disgusting."

"Go for it." Grimmjow gestured to the trashcan a few feet way from the bench. "I, on the other hand, can't breathe. You stupid horn almost punctured a lung."

"No comment." Tia added her say. "On another note that I will get to- after Ulquiorra is finished….You done?"

"Yes. That was rather unpleasant." He sat back down on the bench a few minutes later.

"As I wanted to say, Starrk is more powerful when drunk and so is Baraggan."

"And we came running to tell you the same about Zommari." Nnoitra said, propping his leg up on his knee. "He transformed and started taking thing over with his weird power. And decided to retreat and as I was running, I came up with the idea, we just let him battle in Aizen's town take over and let him become pumpkin pie."

"That was I was going to suggest for Starrk and Baraggan." Tia said, handing Ulquiorra a mint from her purse. "And while they are battling, move on the second phase."

"Which is?" Aaroniero wondered, having not been paying much attention to the plan as the cake was delicious.

"Oh… For crying out loud!" Tia yelled, " Didn't anyone hear a word I said?"

"Yeah." Nnoitra said, "but Fishtank here was eating too much cake."

"Okay." Tia sighed and after a moment said, "After we send the other Espada to Aizen's Battle of Nowhere town, we head to Hueco Mundo and lock him, Gin and Tousen out. And we go from there. As for the intruders looking for Orihime, we will have her deal with them personally. As I don't want to have to deal with stupid Soul Reapers and stupid Humans who think that they are all powerful because they can blow a hole in the wall with riatsu."

"Agreed." Grimmjow said, fixing his winter hat on his head. "I suggest we go back to apartment before we all freeze and talk to Orihime about this."

"No." Tia instructed, "we cannot let her know what we are planning lest Aizen captures her somehow. Which I am sure he will show up sometime or another. She needs to be in the dark if this is going to-"

The sound of a loud door slamming was heard in the distance.

"And there went Orihime. Again." Tia muttered, the sound of the door in the sky closing echoed in her ears. "What the hell is with kidnapping her all the time?"

"I don't know." Ulquiorra reached into his jacket and pulled out the script for the next episode of Bleach. "It says here that Telsa kidnaps her and then Starrk… what the hell? Are we all playing catch with her or something cruel?"

"Put the script away, Ulquiorra. We are throwing it in the trash and creating our own new story."

"Right." Ulquiorra ripped the large book down the middle and tossed it in the trash can from a far. "That's good news. And, I am thinking that we should head to Hueco Mundo."

"Not yet." Tia sighed heavily as she realized something. "We still have a hell of a long time to sit around and wait. We have to wait until Aizen leaves for his battle. And we have a good six months before then."

"NOO!" Nnoitra and Szayel screamed, not wanting to be stuck in the cold any longer than needed.

"Why can't we go find Doctor Who?!" Nnoitra asked, figuring he had to be around here somewhere. It was Scotland after all! "'Cause I am not waiting for ever!"

"Gentlemen…" Tia sighed again, "We have to wait. And while we wait, why don't we go see a movie?"

"That only takes an hour and half!" Szayel yelled, wanting to just get to the good part of this story. "And I want to get to the end of this story so I can make sure I have a happy ever after!"

"Guys!" Grimmjow cried, not sure if they realized this or not. "If we skip to the end of story suddenly, our readers will be lost and think that this story sucks!"

"Well it does!" Nnoitra crossed his arms best he could. "Because I just wanna go home, kick Aizen's ass to Toontown and become frickin' king of Heuco Mundo."

"Excuse me!" Tia cut in, "I would be Queen, thank you. I am higher ranking than you, so I get the honors."

"Hell no! I am not going to have some stupid woman-"

"Don't you start with your sexism!" Tia wished she could reach him to punch him, but Grimmjow, and Szayel were in between her and her intended target. "Or when I am Queen, I am going to kick your ass right out of Los Noches and in to Soul Society!"

"No one kicks my ass anywhere!" Nnoitra objected, standing up and walking over to her as he talked.

"Not when I am through with you!" Tia stood as well and glared up at him. "And you will have to wander around eyeless as I won't hesitate to rip that other eye out of you head and give it to Szayel to eat for lunch."

"You two should settle down." Grimmjow suggested, before anyone sitting by watching, lost an eye as well. "If you want, you can battle it out when you get back, okay?"

The two stared at one another.

_I can whip his sexist ass anytime of day…_ Tia thought to herself, staring up at intimidating man towering over her.

_She's so stupid… Her, Queen? Heh, never gonna happen. I'll beat her up like I beat…wait, Nel didn't lose… shit._ Nnoitra glared for another second before walking back over to his place on the bench. Defeated.

"Tia, 1 Nnoitra, 0." Aaroniero muttered to himself.

* * *

Author's Note: I love this stack up. (Poor Szayel. I don't know how it happens...It just does.) and Orihime, yea. In the anime, it really is like they play catch with her. The moment she's free, someone comes up and takes her captive. Cue Ichigo's next fight. Boo-hoo.

On the other hand, Aizen in Toontown? Interesting picture.

And the beginning of this chapter is slightly inspired by the movie Cool Runnings.


	48. Honey, They Shrunk My Brother

"What's your name?" Orhime asked the strange hollow as they rode along the pathway to Heuco Mundo.

She had run into this hollow on her way back from the store. It was a honest surprise to find it towering over her, but she quickly composed herself. And after the Hollow realized that she was not going to be his next meal and that she was Ulquiorra's girl, asked what he could do.

"Because, if I get in good with them, they might let me have a room in Los Noches. I mean, that's been my dream for years and years now. To hang with the awesome Espada!" He laughed and continued, "You know, I ran intoLord Grimmjow, Lady Tia and Lord Szayel so far and they are also so awesome! Do you wanna swap trading cards?!"

"Uh…." Orhime paused. The Espada had trading cards? What? "Um.. I don't have any… but if you give me a ride to Heuco Mundo, I'll be glad to give you any of the ones I come across… Somehow."

And so a deal was struck between the two. All of the trading cards that Orhime found, she'd give to…

"I don't really have a name yet." The Hollow admitted, a hint of sadness in his voice. "I need one though, 'cause if I don't have one soon, I will become a Menos Grande and be lost forever. And I wanna collect 'em all!"

"Sure." Orhime smiled, not sure how hollow evolution worked. "Maybe… maybe we can come up with a name for you while we get to where I need to go."

"You said Heuco Mundo."

"I know…. But I was thinking I need to go to the Forest of Menos." She knew all to well what the Espada talked of while she were gone at the store. Lilly, one of her fairies stayed behind and hid under a pillow. There was no way Orihime was going to let them have all the fun. Besides, they might need some back up if they were to take on Aizen.

"The…the forest of…of!" The Hollow stopped walking, almost sending Orhime flying off his bak. "I'm not going in there! No! Not even if you have the whole deck! I am not going to-"

"Calm down!" Orhime snapped, "I will protect you, I promise. And to be honest, the Espada are scared of my powers, so think of what damage I could do to a Menos Grande."

"…Uh… really?"

"Really. The Espada don't want to mess with Orhime Inoue the Kick-butt Heroine!"

"COOL!" The Hollow cried and took off down the passage way again. "And I need a really cool name too!"

"That…" Orihime thought back a few years and after a bit of internal argument, said, "How about… about…Sora? Sora Snnelion? Sora was my brother's name. He…he died a long time ago and became a hollow… Now, he's in Soul Society and I thought maybe…"

"…I would be honored." The Hollow said, happy to have a name. "It is a nice name and hold on here, we are going to-"

"Fall!" Orihime screamed as the two of them fell though the air and into the white sands of Hueco Mundo.

"Inoue-san." Sora asked, standing up on his four legs a few minutes later. "You okay?"

"Yes, Sora." Orhime laughed and brushed the sand off her winter coat as she stood. "And now, onto Forest of The Menos."

"And… you promise to protect me?" Sora asked as she climbed onto his back once again.

"Yes. I promise. You have my older brother's name and I wouldn't give it to anyone." She scolded with a smile. "And we have to hurry."

"Right-o!" Sora nodded and began to run across the barren desert towards the nearest opening to the Forest of the Menos that lay beneath their very feet.

* * *

Meanwhile, Yylfordt Granz tiptoed through the shadows down the white hallways of Los Noches, followed closely by Ciricci Sanderwicci. The two were dressed in their normal white clothing to day, as they would blend in better as they snuck around.

"I…I can prove their impostors of the cruelest kind…" Yylfordt whispered, peeping around a corner.

"Right, Honey…" Ciricci wasn't going to listen to anymore of his insane ramblings. He'd been talking constantly for the last six months how the Espadas were replaced by Aliens. "And I ain't gonna listen to you until I see some proof."

"You'll get it…" Yylfordt whispered, peeking around the corner. He'd been trailing his brother's impostor all day! And how, he knew it were an impostor was the fact that his brother grew shorter overnight! Espadas don't shrink in size as none of them get old.

"So," He said to his girl last night, "I think that my brother has been replaced by an ancient alien thing."

"How do you know it's old?"

"Well…It it's short. Old people get shorter. End of story."

"And now, I need some proof." Ciricci grouched, hating how it was taking so long. The two of them started at dawn and it was now past noon. "Or else I'm gonna go eat so-"

Yylfordt put his hand over her mouth and flatted both of them into the wall. "Shhh…he's coming down the hallway!" He glanced up and watched the strange pink-haired impostor walk down the hallway towards them. "I can prove my point here…in one…"

"What a day…" Yumichika sighed, still hating that he had to dye his black hair pink. "If only I didn't have to look so ugly, this job would be really easy…"

"Two…" Yylfordt grinned as the impostor walked closer to where he and Ciricci were hiding.

"And, I have to say that Ichigo owes me big time for th-"

"Three!" Yylfordt cried, leaping out of the shadows and towards the impostor. "I have been looking all over for you!" He wrapped his arms around 'Szayel's' neck, tears of joy flickering in his eyes. "I thought you were lost! Eaten by some savage hollow!"

"Um… no…" The Fake Szayel wasn't sure who the heck this…person was. "Um… hello?"

"I'm Yylfordt! Don't you remember me, your dearest brother?! And, Oh no!" Yylfordt cried, pulling all his acting skills out of the bag, "You've hit your head! And have forgotten everything! My poor heart is breaking!"

"I… guess I have…?" Yumichika was not sure what in the world was going on here…So, he just went with it. "My…dear brother?"

"Oh.. You remember me! I am so glad, Szayel!" Yylfordt hugged the impostor closely and continued to weep on his shoulder. "If you were to die, Mummy and Daddy would never forgive me! You were always their favorite!"

"No, no…" 'Szayel' shook his head, "If I remember right… um… You were their favorite." What the hell? I didn't know Hollows had parents?! What kind of-

"I forgot!" Yylfordt continued, slightly remembering what really happened in the past and what the impostor said, was wrong. Again. One last test… and then… hehehehee…. "And so, I heard you had a candlelit dinner with Nnoitra last night, wanna give you dear brother the scoop?"

"Uh…"

"Dirty details included."

"Um…" Yumichika paused. This was new. No one told him he had a boyfriend or Hollows actually went on dates… what kind of strange world had he fallen into? "Nice… um…kissing? Nothing much."

_Nothing much?!_ Yylfordt laughed to himself. _What a lie. Those two can't keep their hands to themselves…_

_Blazin' Saddles!_ Ciricci gasped from the shadows, _He really is an damn impostor!_

_Now, if only I can get him to confess…_ Yylfordt thought, thinking of something else to say. "And did you two hang out with Neilel the other day? I swear I heard from Telsa that the three of you went on a picnic."

"Yeah. That was great…" The impostor grinned, "uh…Lots of kissing?"

"Wrong!" Yylfordt cried, grabbing the fake by the hair and lifting him off the ground. "You answered wrong to every question! You fail! BOOO!"

"And you were right, all along, honey." Ciricci came over and took the impostor's sword away from him before it could be used.

"What did I get wrong?!" Yumichika cried, his head about to explode with pain.

Yylfordt grinned, "Everything! All the questions I asked, you got wrong! And tell me who you are now and what you've done with my brother. Have you killed him?"

"Ah, of course not!"

"Damn! I think a decent impostor would do me such a kind favor…and you sir, are a nincompoop."

"I am hardly a-"

"Name, now!" Yylfordt ordered, drawing his sword with his free hand and pointing it at the impostor's neck.

"Um… Yumichika Ayasegwa of the 11th Company!"

"Sir!"

"Sir!" The poor Soul Reaper chirped. "Put me down now!"

"Nah…" Yylfordt shook his head, "I wanna watch you scream and pretend I finally got a hold of my stupid genius brother. Do you know how hard I've had to work to even lay a finger on him? All I got for a good decade of work to get the pleasure of poking him in the ribs. One of these days, I'm gonna get back at him for all the times he's beat me up."

"…Great…" Yumichika winced, "Now, tell me what I said wrong and let me go!"

"Okay. I will. Then I will have Ciricci tie you up. She's a Pravion Espada you know. And now, I will tell you what you did wrong. And it's a really long list. If you are going to impersonate someone, you'd better not be a nincompoop like yourself. First, you didn't scream and cuss when I came out of nowhere. Second, you said, 'dear brother.' Szayel would never say such a thing. Ever. Third, you were Mummy and Daddy's favorite and that is how our story to how we became Hollows, began…Fourth, my brother would never ever tell me anything about his dates. He'd scream at me and smash my face into the floor. And he and Nnoitra can't seem to keep to themselves. Honest. I know what goes on when I see the two of them tracking sand all around Los Noches the next morning. Sixth, Neliel, Nnoitra and Szayel would never be caught dead having a picnic together. Neliel died anyhow. They killed her. And last, but not least. Szayel and I are the same height and have the same eyelashes. You lose, Impostor Noob!"

Yylfordt laughed in Yumichika's face before handing him over to Ciricci to tie up. "Who are the other impos-"

"Yylfordt!" A worried voice cried.

He turned around to see Telsa come running down the hallway towards them. "What is it Telsa?"

"Master Nnoita's gone mad!" Telsa panicked as he skittered to a halt next to the other Arrancars, "he still won't let me shine his shoes and I never see him visit Szayel-sama! I'm really confused! And I haven't gotten hit in the head for a months! I thought he was just being oddly nice, but this has gone on too long!"

"That's 'cause they are impostors!" Yylfordt told him, pointing to the tied up Soul Reaper. "This one here, didn't even cuss me out when I jumped him."

"That too!" Telsa gasped, "Nnoitra-sama hasn't said the F-word in ages!"

"So…it's all of them…" Ciricci muttered, thinking. "All of the Espadas have been replaced by Impostors!"

"Now, who are they?!" Yylfordt demanded of the prisoner. "If you don't reply, I'll lock you in a cupboard and let my brother deal with you when he gets home."

"And….?" The Soul Reaper wasn't sure why this Hollow wouldn't deal with him on his own.

"Because, he'll bite your head off and eat it. And I don't want to have to deal with you more than I have too. Besides, if I give you to Szayel when he gets home, he might not slam my face into the wall after realizing I'm alive. I like to think of you as a Soul Reaper wrapped in a bow and ready to dissection."  
He watched the Soul Reaper's face grow pale. "Yeah. You heard me right…Name now with no pain…or later with a lot of pain. And no anesthesia."

"Okay!" Yumichika continued to tell the Arrancar everything he knew about the other Espada impostors, why they were here and finished it all off with, "and do you know where Orihime Inoune is?"

"No clue. Thanks for talking." Yylfordt flicked his finger and Telsa knocked the Prisoner over the head with the hilt of his sword, sending him into dreamland. "And as for not giving you to my brother… Hey, I lied. Enjoy being chopped for lunch."

* * *

Author"s Note: I love Orihime and my favorite Hollow Fanboy has returned! On another note, Yylfordt is a secret genius I think... (Still not as smart as Szayel, but still.) and don't worry, you will find out how the heck he's still around. Sadly, I don't think Szayel knows he's still live. (Oh no!)


	49. I Wanna Espada Themed Birthday Party

"Orihime…" Sora whispered as he carefully surveyed the Forest of Menos from a large tree branch. Below them were several Adhjches sitting around a fire, Menos Grande running face first into the other trees made of Quartz. "I don't like this…"

"…Neither do I…." She whispered, hoping that no one looked up. "But we have to do this…"

"We?" Sora gasped, no knowing he was involved in her little scheme. "I am just your carriage! I'm not going to go down there!"

"You have to!" Orhime whispered back, "I need you to come with me!"

"Why?! You scared?"

"Yes! Of course I-" The two froze with grins on their faces as a Menos glanced up and grabbed a flying hollow out of the sky for lunch. "And." Orhime continued after it were safe to talk again, "I need someone to back me up. You're a hollow! You know what's going on here with Aizen and I highly doubt they will listen to a simple human!"

"True!" Sora said, glancing down at the Munching Menos, "And… I guess we are in this together. And we we get out alive, we can throw a party. Okay?"

"Sure…" Orihime muttered, adding, "As long as it's not Espada themed."

"Aw… come on! They are so frickin' cool!"

"….fine…Just don't make me wear a party hat."

"Geez, you are a party-pooper, Inoune-san."

"Sorry about that. I have other things on my mind…." She told him.

"Like what our plan is." Telsa wondered as he, Ciricci and Yylfordt scampered down the hallway, Yumichika hidden away in a janitor's closet a few hallways back. "How are we going to unmask the fake Espadas?"

"I have a plan…" Yylfordt grinned and came to a sudden halt in front of a white door that had, 16 written on it. "And I need to change my costume for it."

"…Really?!" Telsa nearly screamed in his ear as he walked into his room. "What do you need to-"

Yylfordt threw open the doors to his large closet and dove inside the mass of hanging clothes. All of which were many different costumes for his enjoyment.

"It has to be here somewhere… I swear I've used it… I know I have….Oh… there… The clothes….Now… where in the world is that wig?! Damn, Szayel. He might have destroyed it for some…ah! There it is!"

Telsa and Ciricci shared a look as there was a commotion inside the closet.

"And there!" Yylfordt emerged, a grin on his face and a whole new outfit on. "What do you two think?"

"Um…" Telsa was in shock. It was almost perfect… A white robe… brown wig with the perfect curl and… "You look just like Azien."

"Exactly!" Yylfordt said, leading the three of them out into the hallway of the Fraccions quarters. "And, Aizen is about to call in his Espada on account of his daily cup of tea. And when we have all of them in there, we take their weapons and shut the doors to the throne room."

"But…How do we get them all to come to the throne room at once?" Tela wondered, not wanting to wander around to find all of them.

"My dear Watson, why are you so dumb?" Yylfordt laughed, patting him on the head. "We use the PA System!"

"Oh, ow…" Aaroniero complained, tramping into the apartment half an hour later along with the other Espadas. "Why does my head still hurt?!"

"Because it does…" Szayel muttered, not feeling like yelling for once. He sat down in one of the chairs of the Kitchen Table. Still dressed in his many winter coats to stay warm until Tia turned the heaters on. "And because you talk to loud for your own good, Aaroniero."

"I agree." Grimmjow said, sitting down on the sofa to hold Tia in his arms. "And now that our plan has changed, what now? Wait around for the day of the battle."

"We could do it." Tia rested her head on his chest and closed her eyes. "I feel like we should be doing something productive though…"

"Like what?' Nnoitra laughed, sitting down on the floor next to Sayzel's chair.

"Like…" Uquiorra could not help but worry, "Go find Orihime. She's not here, if you all remember."

"Find her?" Szayel laughed, "I think she can save herself on her own. When we were going to throw her out the window, she threatened to kill us. I think she's fine."

"…I suppose." Ulquiorra sighed and continued to stare out the window into the night,

"Uh…" Grimmjow smiled and pointed at Ulquiorra, rather amused. "Look at him, guys, he's sulking…"

"Hehe…" Aaronieo snickered, "I think he has a broken heart and is wanting to go find his true love."

Nnoitra rolled his eye, not seeing the point. " That's stupid as hell. To be honest, I would never go looking for you Szayel."

The Eighth Espada smiled sweetly and patted him on the head. "Care to tell me why?" He asked, his voice suddenly cold.

"'Cause, I'd know you'd find your way home yourself."

Szayel frowned, not liking where this was headed. "Oh, really?"

"Yeah. You're intelligent as hell."

"So…" Szayel tested his theory brewing in his head. "If…I were attacked and say, somehow kidnapped, you'd just up and go home a make dinner after killing a few hollow on your way? Waging that I'm smart enough to find my way home myself?"

"…Yeah? So? Like I said, you're smart." Nnoitra grinned only to have his smile slide off his face as he caught the look on Szayel's face. "I don't mean that way! it was a-"

"It's too late." Szayel muttered sliding his glasses back up the bridge of his nose and standing up. "What has been said, has been said. And I just… I guess I just realized that you don't value me as much as I am lead to believe." He walked over the door and threw it open. "I…I would search to the ends of the universe for you the moment you disappeared. I cannot believe you would not do the same."

Szayel shut the apartment door and sighed before making his way down the steps.

* * *

Author's Note: Sorry about the chapter mix up. I have swapped around the chapter order in my Scrivener Document. And I am sorry that this chapter is so short. The next one will be longer.

Also, I am sorry for not posting yesterday. My Mondays are really busy. Heh, thanks.


	50. Across The Universe

Tia glanced at the door and back to Nnoitra who was clearly in shock. "I… I don't think you should follow."

"…Why not?!" He yelled, standing up and was about the march to the door when Aaroniero grabbed his sleeve. He turned around and glared down at the idiot who he really should crush into a pile of goo. "What do you want?!"

"…I agree. I can't let you go out there." Aaroniero told him, stepping aside to avoid being hit across the face a split second later. "And I just think that you need to sit back and think, you know?"

"I don't need to!" Nnoitra roared, having enough of all of them. "Let me go and let me settle this my way!"

"If your way is yelling, " Tia said, yawning, "You aren't going to get anywhere."

"Well, woman. What do you say I do?"

"I say, you sit down as well and really think this over." She replied, cutting him a little slack for the 'Woman' comment. "Come sit down here next to me so I don't have to yell."

Nnoitra paused before doing as he was told. "Yeah? What? You got some advice?"

"I said I did." Tia sat up and fixed her hair as she spoke. "If you want to go out there and make a farther fool of yourself, it's your choice. However, I would personally say, and all of us here will agree, that you really need to think this over."

"Think what over?!"

"If you would search to the end of the earth to find Szayel or not. I would not blame him if he slapped you across the face and dumped you for good if you went out there and said, 'hey, babe, yea. I'd do the same.' Which I what I knew you would do. You really need to examine this and come up with a decent answer. For if you cannot find it in your heart, I suggest you move on and he do the same. For he is right. We all deserve someone who would do anything to see us again."

"…But doesn't he know I would?"

"Not really. You just said it was stupid that Ulquiorra wanted to find Orihime. Which I find rather valiant and shows that he truly does care for her. And then said, you'd go home and wait for him to come back"

"I didn't mean it like that." Nnoitra tried again, wishing that Tia would just see what he meant to say and not have to explain. "I just thought he'd take it like I know he can fend for himself. You know? Last time I tried to cut into a battle, he got upset with me and told me so."

"I understand." Tia said, sitting her head back on Grimmjow's chest again. "But I'm not done. Szayel likes to be independent and doesn't like to have to rely on other people. But, he likes the idea of having someone who cares about him enough to, if needed, step in and save him. But I don't think he'll never tell you this as he's too proud."

"So…?" Nnoitra asked, "What?"

"So, you should think if you would actually step in, if needed and if he were suddenly gone, would you go find him? Even if you might die a horrible death. That is what he wants. And that is what I would want out of anyone I love. Grimmjow here, I know loves me more than anyone ever will."

"And," Grimmjow added his own thoughts. "Also, I think that you do tend to take Szayel for granted too much. Thinking that he will always like you. And second, I think he wants to know that you actually care about him more then you usually show. Honestly, you fight more then kiss. And I think that there has always been a little too much fighting going on."

"It's not my fault." Nnoitra pointed out, crossing his arms defensively. "He starts all of the fights and you know it."

"It's both of you." Grimmjow corrected, "True, he does start them a little more often then you do. But I think that what else he wants to know is where he stands in your life. Is fighting more important to you? Or is he? Not that you have to stop fighting, but make a list of the top three most important things in your life and I hope he's the second thing."

"…Second? Shouldn't he be first?" Nnoitra wondered.

"No, no…" Tia laughed, realizing he'd never thought about this before. "You should be on the top. You are most important to you. Or should be, anyhow. For if you don't love yourself above all, you cannot hope to love another."

"Yeah." Aaroniero laughed from where he was standing next to Ulquiorra. "You'd just epically fail."

"…And what should be third?" Nnoitra asked, hoping it wasn't something dumb, like the family dog.

"Anything." Tia replied, "But be careful and look deep into your heart of what you truly love."

"…Could…" Nnoitra thought it was silly what he came up with, but he couldn't think of anything else. "…Could I put Life there?"

Tia smiled and gave him an approving look. "Yes. That could work very well there. Life in whole. The good and the bad times."

"Now what?" Nnoitra asked, glancing at the door of the apartment. "Should I go try and fix this now?"

"No. Not now. Why don't you go make your list in writing and then, after a few hours, fix things. Szayel needs some time to calm down and sort through his feelings."

Everyone watched Nnoitra leave the sofa to go find the nearest piece of paper and a pen.

"Wow…" Aaroniero began, amazed by Tia's words and what just happened. "I just witnessed my first break up."

"It's not a break up!" Nnoitra yelled from the other side of the room. "It's a…a…" He knew there was a word for it, "A fight. Okay?!"

Aaroniero snickered and rested his case.

* * *

Szayel walked down the empty streets of where ever he was. He was determined to become lost when he left the apartment some time ago and he was doing a very successful job at it.

Besides one small problem.

He could still sense Ulquiorra's Riatsu standing next to the windows of the apartment. No wonder he looked so ragged when he first appeared in the alleyway three days ago. All of the Hollows on the island could tell where he was all the time.

Szayel wouldn't be surprised if he returned home to find several hollows looking for a gloomy meal.

_Or maybe, they should just eat me. I'm rather gloomy, no? _He laughed at his thoughts and continued to walk down the sidewalk._ Sometimes I wonder… what am I doing with my life? It has all been rather…difficult to say the least up until a while ago. _

_Until we came here, honestly. _

_And…damn, I'm so mad at him. How can he say such a thing as, 'I wouldn't come for you?' and then say he doesn't mean it. I know he does… he always does. And I guess I have to realize that I am hardly important to him. Yes, that would solve all of my problems. I would just accept the fact and move on. _

_Oh Szayel, _He tried to think to himself,_ You are far less important to Nnoitra than…but it's not true! How can I try and fool myself into to thinking such things. I want to think both. That he cares and that I will never be important._

"Damn it!" He cried, sitting down on the curbside of some street. "Why is so hard?! Rationalize this out and move on! How can I see both sides and yet I cannot pick one?!"

_What is keeping me from finding the answer of this simple equation?! I should move on. I really should. We fight all the time and…what have I been doing spending my life with him anyway? I should find someone who deserves me and appreciates everything about me. And, I know that fighting is sometimes good, but…I sometimes wish we didn't fight so much. _

_Sometimes I wish we could sit and talk things over instead of making it into some contest. _

_Granted, that is how Nnoitra always was. Always wanting to be the best at everything and I, just happened to be better at the one thing he never understood. _

_And that was how to think. _

_Yes, folks, meet my boyfriend the idiot. The man who doesn't think, only swings a sword around for fun._

_Besides my intelligence, I don't really know what else he saw in me. I'm rather scrawny and horribly pale. And don't have any other talents to speak of besides being someone else._

_Perhaps that's what he wants. Someone else. Hell, I could roll with that. Go find myself some other Arrancar to date. If I wanted to, I could nab Ciricci right out from under my brother's dead body. _

_Wonder how she's holding up. I doubt she hardly cried. _

_I wouldn't cry. Nnoitra will die one day because he put his battles before me and get himself killed, somehow. Don't know how anyone could defeat him…but If they did, it would be his fault for not listening to me. _

_Not that he could come crying to me after as he'd be dead… and I haven't seen him cry more than six times over a good five decades I've known him. Sure there was that time that he confessed that he hated being so weak and how he wanted nothing more than power. _

_Power for what, though? _

_What would he do, if he were the strongest?_

_I suppose he'd wither and die, having no more purpose in life. _

_And what do I want to do with power I wish to gain?…nothing I suppose, which is a true waste now that I think of it. I've always been power hungry… but…until now, I never thought of why. Never wanted to...And since, I have no idea what Nnoitra wants with power, I will have to figure this out for both of us. Before we stray to far and lose ourselves completely._

* * *

Author's note: Across the Universe belongs to the Beatles. And sometimes I wonder, what really is the glue that keeps Nnoitra and Szayel together.


	51. I Will Search For You

Szayel stared down at the small children's playground from the pine tree he was sitting in. The poor tree was the only one tall enough he could find to climb in. It didn't take much to leap the good eight feet to grab the first branch as his normal strength was not concealed by his Riasu dampening watch or his Gigai.

"…I really should have brought another coat." Szayel said to himself a good two hours later as he realized his hands were beginning to freeze. "At least, I can still talk…Granted, what would it matter anyway, if I froze over? I'll wake up in the spring and all will be well once again."

_If only I can just move on… It would be for the better. I would have a life full of…._

_What? _

_Peace and quite? That would be nice, now that I think of it. Not to have to put up with Nnoitra's lack of intelligence would be a treat. Nor would I have to find anyone to replace him, now that I think of it… _

_Hell, I'm a butterfly and they are meant to be free to do as they wish. To watch the world from afar, only coming to earth every so often._

"What the hell are you doing sitting in a tree?!" An all to familiar voice called from below. "Don't you know you'll freeze?"

Szayel let out along sigh and glanced down. Sure enough, there was Nnoitra standing on the ground, looking up at him. "I hope you came here to apologize."

"I have a list!" He called, waving a piece of paper in the air. "It's all this things I care about. In order!"

"And what?" Szayel asked, crossing his arms. "do you think it will get me to change my mind?!"

"Maybe!" Nnoitra held the paper up to his eye and after clearing his throat, began to read, "First thing in life I…love, is me. Nnoitra Gilga. I know it sound a little-"

"How dare you put yourself on the top of that damn list!" Szayel yelled down at him, "and then come here and ru-"

"I have to be first!" Nnoitra cried, "Tia told me that I have to care about me before anyone else!"

"…Fine. Sounds like Tia. Go on. I buy it."

"Okay. Next…." He was going to have to say it. And so, he took a deep breath and said it all at once:

"Szayelapporogranzthebestespadaicouldpossiblyhavea tmysideandisweariwillneverever

leaveyouonyourownandwouldsearchtotheendoftheuniver setoseeagaincauseilovehim

withallofmyheartidontactuallyhavebutpretendtohavea sifeel theseemeotionsand

iamreallysorry."

"…Do you really mean that?" Szayel caught every word he said.

"Yeslikehellidooriwouldnotbeouthereinthefrickincol dtocometalktohimandbringhimanextrajacket."

Szayel felt all of the anger wash away and be replaced by overwhelming joy. "That's gre-"

Nnoitra caught him in his arms as he fell. "Hiwhatareyoudoingfallingoutoftrees?"

"Hey, at least I didn't flatten you." Szayel smiled and wrapped his arms around his neck. "And… I want to apologize too."

"Forwhat?" He asked as he made his way over to the nearest bench."youdidnothingwrong. iwasbeinganassholeasusual. ."

"True… but… I wanted to apologize for all the times I've fought with you or yelled at you…Or hell, cussed at you. I really don't want to hurt your feelings."

"Thanks. Itmeansalot." Nnoitra reached the bench and after eying it, decided not to sit down. If he did, he was sure to fall asleep in the cold and no one would be able to save him from his heart stopping. "I want totake you home. We cantalkwhile I carry you."

"So…" Szayel asked after a short pause to bundle up in the extra coat. "Why did you decide to come for me?"

"…I guess…" Nnoitra glanced down at the beautiful man in his arms. "I just didn't want to be a loser anymore."

"…Loser?" Szayel raised his eyebrow. This was new. "You never lose. You're always the strongest and it's a real pain."

"I wasn't always like this…I was…human, ages ago… and the faint bits I remember, I never… I never came out on top. And I couldn't let you walk out of my life. If I did, I would have lost again."

Szayel closed his eyes and leaned his head on Nnoitra's shoulder. "You never told this. Why?"

"…I suppose I…I don't like dwelling on the past."

The two fell silent for a while, enjoying one another's company. Finally, Szayel spoke, "Nnoitra…"

He stopped walking and glanced down at Szayel who was lost in thought. "Yes? What its it?"

"I…sometimes wish we…we could not fight so frequently. I cannot deny it is in my very nature as an Arrancar to do so…however…I do not like-"

"I do not either." Nnoitra admitted to himself. "We have our differences, but it really sucks to be chewed out by you. You can be worse than Nel."

"Heh. I suppose it is. I can be very harsh."

"Now you say that…" A wide grin spread across his face as he laughed. "Why were you thinking of Ciricci?"

"What?" Szayel cried, almost making Nnoitra drop him on the ground. "How do you know what I think?"

"'Cause…You always get a weird look on your face. You had it on a few minutes ago after I caught you when you fell out of the tree."

"Okay, fine. I admit it. I was thinking of her a little. I mean if things didn't work-"

"Szayel." Nnoitra half-scolded, walking across the street when the crossing sign turned green. "Just stop trying to convince yourself, will you? I know you too well…You could never date a woman. You'd just find it a bore."

"True… True…" Szayel sighed, a faint smile creeping onto his face. "I suppose I should stop trying. Thankfully, I hardly find you boring."

"Of course not." Nnoitra said, "nor do I find you boring."

"You know…" Szayel began a few minutes later, a realization hitting him in the face. "Aaroniero's going to have a hard time finding a girlfriend…There are so few Women Arrancars…"

"Yeah. More Vasto Lordes than women."

"Being straight would be such a pain." Szayel noted, "So few to choose from."

"Yeah… I know. And with Neliel gone, that leaves…" Nnoitra counted in his head. "Four. Including Tia who is going out with Grimmjow… So, honestly, three."

Szayel laughed.

"Is.. There anything else you want to tell me?" Nnoitra asked after his finished a few minutes later. "Before we get back to apartment that is?"

"Yes. I suppose I do. I…Sometimes wonder what…why you crave power. What want use it for? If you were the most powerful hollow in the world…I am worried that you would have no more use for life…or me."

"I told you before!" Nnoitra grouched, not liking the subject, but replied anyhow. "I didn't want to be a loser anymore and the only way to do that is to win and…why are you asking me this? Why not yourself? I think that's what you really want to know."

"No, Nnoitra. I know what I want power for… I always knew. I just did not want to accept the truth, I suppose."

"So…?" Nnoitra tried after hearing Szayel say nothing. "What is it? Come on, I confessed to being the World Champion Loser!"

"I…I...I am reminded..." he laughed at himself. "Each and everyday…by my foolishness... I once hoped that in gaining power, I could fill the hole where my heart used to be. To…"

"It hurts, doesn't it?"

"…Sometimes. But you make my heart aches less, honestly."

"Good. And we are here." Nnoitra announced, stopping in front of the apartment building and after a moment thought, did not set Szayel down.

"And what about you? You didn't give me a clear answer on my second question." Szayel said, staring up at Nnoitra who scowled a little.

"…Okay, here. My scrappy answer. And it's really…never mind. Here it is: I would use power to…take care of those I love."

"…Really?"

"Hell yes! Now, stop asking questions!"

"I will…" Szayel stared into Nnoitra's violet eye, and was soon swept away into bliss by a single, lingering kiss.

* * *

Author's note:

Awe...heartmelt...

"I just don't want to be a loser anymore" Comes from Mitsuko Souma, my favorite character in Battle Royal book and movie.

Geez, somehow the document manager keeps wiping out Nnoitra's lines. So sorry if you missed a few. I have been trying to fix it all day. Hold on!


	52. The Magic Fourth Wall (It Works Wonders)

"Hello all of you Lowly Espadas! This is your Captain speaking!" Yylfordt grouched into the microphone of the Los Noches PA System a few days later. After finding the few pieces of his Aizen Costume he was missing and perfecting their plan, the Fraccion went to work. "Please report to the throne room at once, you ****** Idiots! I cannot believe that you ****** up my tea for the last ***** time! I said, I wanted cream in it and all I got was boring cup of green! Anyone not showing up to this Tea Meeting will be killed! For real!" Yylfordt turned off the mic and sat back in the chair, "And that is how you sound like a grumpy Aizen. Now, let us get to the throne room before they do."

"Good idea." Telsa nodded, following him and Ciricci into the hallway. "Thank goodness Aizen and his cronies are headed to the World of Humans now, or this would be really hard."

"I know. And thankfully, he is very likely to get all of them lost and so, it will be a good month or so before he gets there." Yylfordt said, opening the door into the throne for his new friends a few minutes later. "And now…" He walked up to the tall platform with an empty throne and with a single step, appeared next to the chair. "We sit and wait. Telsa, Ciricci, guard the doors, quietly."

"Will do." Telsa saluted and flickered over to the right door while Ciricci took the left.

"What is it?!" Grimmjow yelled, walking into the throne room in a hurry, Followed by Tia who was fixing her shirt so her chest stayed inside.  
"I thought we got you your tea, Azien."

"Lord Aizen!" Yylfordt corrected, slouching in the throne a little. "Don't you dumb asses know how to address your leader?!"

"Um…" Grimmjow paused, "We're sorry?!"

"Don't say you're sorry! Fix my goddamn tea! NNOITRA! Get in here! I have to speak with you as I know you are the one who brought me this tea! It tastes like poo!"

Yylfordt grinned on the inside as the fake Nnoitra, Ulquiorra and Aaroniero walked into the throne room all in the middle of an argument of some kind.

Great….they are all here.. Time to… Yylfordt glanced at Telsa who nodded. "WHICH of you thought it would be funny to give me plain tea today?!" Yylfordt screamed at 'The Espadas. "Ulquiorra! Speak up!"

"Lord Aizen, I am sorry about you-" Ishida began, not sure what to say.

"I've heard enough!" he continued to rant. "I don't want to see your sad little faces in here again! I want you all to do what I say from now on, is that understood?! And… damn it! How many times have I told you not to wear your swords inside?! You could stab my eye out!"

"Sorry," Rukia apologized, "Would you like us to remove them?"

"Hell yes! I don't want to worry about my Espada turning on me!" Yylfordt flicked his fingers and Telsa came over and collected everyone's weapons. "Now fix my tea! No, wait!" He cried as they turned to leave, "Don't bother fixing it all all."

Ichigo turned around and found Aizen grinning down at him. "What is-"

The metal doors of the throne room shut with a loud slam, trapping them all inside and their weapons outside.

"Ahh…." Yylfordt sighed and sat back in his seat. "I played that well…"

"Wha…What?!" Ichigo yelled, feeling helpless with out his trusty sword. "What the hell is going on here?! Who are you?!"

"Hehe…" Yylfordt snickered, standing up on his throne. "I trapped you all inside you impostors! Ha, ha! I win! Allow me to introduce myself. Yylfordt Granz."

"….Granz?!" the fake Nnoitra cried, realizing who it was. "But… Aren't you supposed to be dead?!"

"Yeah. Sadly." Was the reply. "But… by then, the fourth wall was broken and I slipped through the hole just before your Bankai blast toasted me, Renji Abarai."

It was true. The fourth wall had been broken since the middle of the Bount Arc.

"..How do you know our names?!" Rukia placed her hands in front of her, a kido blast dancing on her fingers. "And where is Orihime Inoune?!"

"My brother's stupid impostor was a nincompoop and I got him to spill all your names." Yylfordt said, enjoying this whole conversation and sitting on Aizen's throne even more. "I discovered that you all were impostors when I greeted my brother and wasn't smashed into a wall for once. And besides, Szayel and I are the same height and have the same eyelashes. Now, don't tell him I said any of that, or he'd eat me… anyhow, I have no clue where Inoue is. Last time I saw her, she was hanging around in Ulquiorra's room."

"..What?!" Ichigo screamed, his mind jumping to conclusions. "What kind of story is this?! I'm the main character! I get the girl!"

"Too bad." Yylfordt snorted, "Anyhow, I wanted to ask all of you to give the hell up already and go back home. I want to enjoy my life long vacation. Yeah, the Espada are headed to go attack your stupid town… And I ask myself, why not the world for crying out loud?!"

"Karakura town?!" Ichigo screamed in a panic, shocked they would ever do something so cruel. "No! I will never allow it! Come on! We have to save the world!"

Yylfordt watched the Soul Reapers all jump into action and run for the closed doors. "Okie, Bye now…" He waved his hand and Telsa and Ciricci opened the exits so the whole panicked group could rush out in a hurry.

The moment they all left Heuco Mundo via Garganta a good two minutes later, Yylfordt turned back to Ciricci and Telsa who were in shock by the whirlwind of panic. "Guys…have you read Harry Potter?"

* * *

Author's note: The first line of this chapter is inspired by Avatar the Last Airbender when Sokka takes over an airship in the last battle.  
And yes, Ichigo and crew just up and left. Yes, without Orihime and Yumichimka. (More about them later.) And I love Yylfordt...He's so awesome.  
Note to self: Fix the Fourth Wall. And state that as I went back and read over some of the previous chapters, I have found a bucket load of errors (small, but still errors) in the story. I plan to fix all of these and generally edit the story. (The Plots will be the same and all, I will just bring in a big polishing brush.) However, my life is very busy and I would like to state that come December 13th of 2013, I will go back and fix all of the errors. Thank you.

And those who ware waiting for me to update my other stories on this site, they will come, I promise. I am just very busy, so some of my other stories may be a little slower to update. Thanks.


	53. What Our Hearts Desire

"Aw…" Aaroniero sighed, staring up at the apartment building two months later. All the fond memories floating in his mind. Nnoitra making edible dinner, Tia ordering that Ulquiorra stay despite Grimmjow's dislike. Waiting up on Christmas Eve to hear angels sing on high. (Hey, that's what the story said happened.) and become disappointed over the fact that there was no singing to be heard a midnight. "It's so sad to have to leave…"

"I know…" Szayel sighed heavily as well, putting his arm around Nnoitra's waist. He was remembering how all of them spent New Years Eve wishing they were in Japan where they could watch the sun rise. Also when Grimmjow forced all of them to bake for his school's Christmas party. Now that was a disaster that is too horrible to mention. At least Tia discovered frozen cookie dough before the building was burned down by accident."I am going to miss it, rather. Small little apartment."

"Yeah…" Was all the Fifth Espada had to say, not wanting to remember the time that Tia forced all of them to buy presents for one another. She thought it would be nice, but when he had to buy for the number below him, Nnoitra could not think anything good to buy Grimmjow besides a scarf. (It's the thought that counts, no?) "It really kept the rain, wind and snow out. "

"I know, well, except that one win.…" Szayel paused and glanced over his shoulder. "Why is that rain on my neck?"

"No clue…" Aaroniero turned around and gasped at the large hole behind them, "Oh no! It's raining beyond the fourth wall! It's gonna flood the story!"

"How come it hasn't rain in to the story before?!" Nnoitra reached in his jacket pocket and pulled out the roll of duct tape that Tia used to tie him to a chair. He ripped a long strip off the roll and applied it to the large hole. "And of course, the whole is too big to fix easily."

" Maybe the it grew over time! Here!" Aaroniero offered, climbing through the hole. "I'll tape it up over here and-"

"Wait!" Szayel cried, "You don-"

"Shut up!" Nnoitra yelled, hating to have to fix the fourth wall that Grimmjow and Ulquiorra broke it in the first place. "And just let me do this!"

"But-"

"Thanks." Aaroneiro took another piece of tape from Nnoitra and soon the two had patched up the hole.

"There…" Nnoitra grinned at his handy work and turned to Szayel who had his head in his hands. "I fixe… what is it?"

"Nnoitra… You… You…Taped Fishtank out of the story."

"…Cool."

"Not so cool." Szayel grouched, crossing his arms. "We actually need him for… shoot. Can't tell for it would spoil the plot. Anyhow, we need him for the next part of the story!"

"For what?" Nnoitra didn't remember ever needing Aaroniero around.

"…For the climax of the story, you dumbass!"

"….Oh… Yeah… I forgot."

"What are you waiting for then?!" Szayel screamed, pointing at the duct taped patch, "Get him back in here already!"

"But… then I will have to break the fourth wall again! And fix it!"

"So what?! It only took you a few minutes to patch it back up!"

Nnoitra sighed and peeled the tape back off the hole only to have his ears hit by screaming.

"AHHH! I'm in the real world! AND IT'S RAINING! WAHH! SAVE ME! SZAYEL! SAVE ME! I DON'T LIKE TO BE WET! NNOITRA! UMBRELLA!AHHH! I DON'T HAVE ANY FANGIRLS TO TAKE ME IN! AND I DON'T HAVE A JOB! AHH-h…Hi, Nnoitra.. Hey… what's up?"

"…My ears just died." Nnoitra moaned, reaching across the wall and grabbing Aaroniero by the collar of his coat. "Come here, and shut up."

A second later, Aaroniero was back his world, safe a sound. "Phew… that was close…"

"You're telling me…" Nnoitra said, as Tia and Ulquiorra walked up to them.

"What is going on here?" Tia wondered, her ears still ringing. "I heard screaming."

"He got stuck behind the fourth wall." Nnoitra told her, pointing at the hole. "And now that he's back, I'll fix it."

"You don't have too." Ulquiorra said, taking the tape out of his hands. "I will and I will make sure it doesn't break again. We don't need fan girls sneaking into the story."

"True." Szayel laughed at the idea, "by the way, Tia, where is Grimmjow?"

"He's at school, saying good-bye to all his students. I never realized how much he loved his job… but we have to leave. Aizen's battle begins in a day and I don't want to be late or early."

"There." Ulquiorra studied his handy work before giving the tape back to Nnoitra who chucked it over his shoulder at Aaroniero to keep. "All fixed. Now, I have to open a portal to Heuco Mundo."

He reached his right hand out and a black slit appeared in the sky and opened into a gaping mouth of nothing. "Shall we?"

"Not yet." Tia ordered, crossing her arms as she glanced around. "We have to wait for Grimmjow. Then we can leave."

"But…" Ulquiorra objected, "I must find Orihime."

"If I were you, I wouldn't worry so much." Szayel noted, remembering how she threatened to slice him up into pieces. "I think she can escape from whatever kidnapped her on her own."

"You are correct." Ulquiorra realized with along sigh. "I cannot help but worry a little, however."

"What are you?" Nnoitra laughed, "A sexist jerk like me?"

"At least you realize it." Tia smiled a little, "That's all I really wanted."

All of them sat down on the sidewalk and waited for a good ten minutes before Grimmjow came running up, dressed in his suit and tie. "Hey,

I'm sorry. I…I am just going to miss teaching, that's all."

"That's fine." Tia stood up and greeted him with a kiss. "Let us go now."

"Of course." Grimmjow slipped his hand around her waist and walked into the opening in the sky. What they were headed for was not a battle for someone, but a battle for themselves and what they truly desired.

* * *

Author's Note: Would any fangirl take in Aaroniero when they could have Grimmjow? I don't think so. (Poor Fishtank...)

No another note, I have made a 'soundtrack' for this story! So, readers feel free to listen to these songs while you read:

Neighbors - The Academy is...

She's a Rebel - Green Day

Beautiful, Dirty, Rich - Lady Gaga (It really works. They have no money.)

Bad Girls - M.I.A.

Rockstar - Nickelback

Mean - Pink

I Won't Say I'm In Love - from the Disney movie Hercules (I know... But I could not help but think of Tia and Grimmjow. :) )

Tick-Tock - by Kesha (Geez... It works so well.)

(All of the songs listed belong to who ever actually owns them. Aka the record companies.)


	54. Home Sweet Home!

Ulquiorra ate sand.

And smiled.

"Home…" He muttered, spitting out a mouthful of white sand. "Hooray."

"And I am not flattened this time." Szayel grinned, not sure who he landed on, but thankful he wasn't being crushed.

"Ow…."

"HA!" Szayel cried, pleased to find Nnoitra laying under him, face first in the sand. "Revenge!"

"AW! Get of me already!" Nnoitra muffled voice yelled, "You've had your fun! I am getting sand up my nose!"

"Whatever…" Szayel laughed and after waiting a moment, climbed off of Nnoitra and stood up. "And now…" He surveyed the horizon of Heuco Mundo for any signs of where he was. "I cannot see Los Noches."

"Great…" Grimmjow said as he crawled out from under Tia who was thankful she landed on something soft.(-ish.) "so, we have a long way to go."

"And Gigais to ditch." Tia announced as she noted that she was still wearing hers. "Somehow."

"I think I have a solution." Szayel reached into the pocket of his jeans and pulled out the small talisman that Urahara gave him to remove the temporary souls that came in the Soul Candy Container. "This should work…" He pressed the small object to his chest and was immediately thrown out of his Gigai and onto the sand. "Damn it! I hate eating sand!"

"Haha!" Nnoitra laughed, grabbing the Talisman before it went flying off into nowhere. "This is how you do it gracefully, see?" He walked right of his Gigai and smirked. "And I didn't eat any-"

Szayel stuck his arm out and Nnoitra tripped and fell in to the sand next to him. "Aha."

"That wasn't-"

Tia ripped the talisman out of Nnoitra's hand and soon have everyone out of their Gigais and back on their feet. "Gentlemen, we must find our way to Los Noches with as little bickering as possible."

"All right." Szayel agreed, wanting to take a shower as soon a possible to get all of the sand out of his hair before it settled in. "And so off we go." He linked arms with Nnoitra and much to Aaroniero's surprise, took his arm as well.

"If you start singing, I am going to have to kill you." Nnoitra grouched as they used Sindo to skip across the white sands as if they were in a movie.

"Don't worry, I won't." Szayel told him, his senses telling him to turned to the left a little. "And we will be back in Los Noches before you can say…. A really long word."

"Hey! Hey!" Aaroniero cried, not liking almost dragged along in the sand behind him, "Slow down! I think we lost Grimmjow and Tia and-"

Ulquiorra appeared next to him in a flash. "We would never be left behind. You can not see us for we are moving faster than you are."

"Faster?!" Szayel was not going to be left in the dust! "You want to see faster?! I can move ten times faster than you can!"

"Right." Ulquiorra scoffed. "You are the eighth Espada for a-" Szayel disappeared into thin air. "Reason… Never mind…"

"I have to admit." Grimmjow ran up next to Ulquiorra who was watching the three of them head towards Los Noches at the speed of light. "When it comes to Sindo, he is faster than the rest of us."

"True.. Maybe because he's a butterfly at heart."

"A damn fast butterfly at that." Grimmjow could not see them anywhere in the vast empty world around him.

* * *

"And here we are." Szayel announced, stopping inches away from the front white doors of Los Noches. "Home sweet home." He grinned and let go of Aaroniero and Nnoitra who crumpled to the ground.

"Ugh…." Aaroneiro muttered, his face buried in the sand. "I feel car sick…"

"Yeah…" Nnoitra agreed wholeheartedly. "Me too…"

"And that." Szayel grinned and fixed his rather messy pink hair with his hand. "Is what I call fast, Ulquiorra. And hey, we beat all of them to the castle."

"Wonderful…." Aaroniero climbed to his feet slowly, the world still turning and…"I feel sick still… How is that, Nnoitra? We've stopped moving and still feel like I'm gonna hurl."

"That's 'cause…" Nniotra was not about to get up anytime soon. "We haven't."

Szayel was about reply when Ulquiorra and Grimmjow appeared next to him.

"I…suppose I have to." Ulquiorra did not like to say this, but it was the truth. "You are faster than the rest of us."

"That's for sure." Tia said, coming up to join the group. Covered head to toe in sand, making Grimmjow blush as the sand reminded him of snow that made her look so beautiful that one afternoon. "But, next time Szayel, please do not kick up so much sand into the air."

"Will do." Szayel fixed his glasses and stepped aside so Tia could open the doors to Los Noches. "The honors are all yours."

"Thank you…" Tia shook some sand out of her hair and walked up to the large doors. "And here we are, were we belong… forever." She reached up to the large long handles and slowly pulled the doors open.

"Well hello…" A deep voice laughed from the darkness inside the doors, "Welcome to…." A loud clap was heard and a warm glow washed over the group of weary Espadas. "Hogwarts, School of Witchcraft and Wizardry."


	55. A Little Respect (Utilities Not Included

Tia almost lost her grip on the door. _Where were they?!_

She stared into the vast hall where four long wooden tables were warmly lit by countless candles floating in the air. And the walls were covered in floor to ceiling windows were the starry night sky flickered in the distance. At the end of the long hall was a large podium that was lit with large flaming candles.

"What the…" Nnoitra could not find the right swearword to sum up his thoughts as he froze in the doorway, followed by Aaroniero, Grimmjow and Ulquorra who were dead silent.

"What…" Tia managed to speak for all of them, "What the fuck is this?!"

"Well…." A smooth voice began from the other side of the hall, walking out from behind the podium to greet them. His long blond hair styled just so and his black wizarding robe flowing behind him. On his hands was a large ring, on his neck was a thin chain and a cane which he used purely for decoration. "I, thought you would be away…like… forever. And if you must know, I, Lucius Malfoy am not happy to see you… uh.. Lady Tia."

All eyes turned to Szayel as they realized who it was. No one spoke like that but….

Nnoitra took a step back as he watched Szayel's eyes grow wide and his hand creep up to his mouth, in pure shock.

"….Yylfordt?"

Everyone shared a look as they watched tears well up in the edges of Szayel's eyes.

_What is going on?!_ Nnoitra thought, watching the tears actually slide down his face a second later.

"…Big…big brother!" Szayel rushed forward and threw his arms around Yylfordt's neck once he was in reach. "I… I thought you were dead!" He laid his head on his brother's shoulder and let all of his emotions take over. Tears flowed freely from both of them for a while, neither of them cared to speak.

"Szay…" Yylfordt was not sure what to say besides, "So… you… you really do…care after all?"

Szayel nodded, not finding it in him to speak.

"I.. I suppose I am sorry. I didn't know that you thought I was…dead." Yylfordt stammered, not wanting any more tears to destroy his cosplay outfit. "And…could you maybe, stop the water works?"

"No." Szayel shook his head and continued to burry his face into his older brother's shoulder. "…I… I missed you so much!"

"I… I know you did…" Yylfordt was not sure what to do besides gently pat his younger brother on the back, trying to comfort him.

"Promise me you will never scare me like that again!" Szayel ordered, removing his hands from his brother's neck so he could maybe breathe again. "I…I just…"

"I know…" Yylfordt wrapped his arms around his brother and held him close. "I missed you too. Kinda."

"…Yes. I know I have been mean to you and I am so sorry!"

"It's okay, Szayel. It's a little brother's job to make life a pain for the older one."

Szayel looked up and let a small smile creep onto his face, tears still spilling out of the corner of his eyes, "Really? I… I have been so cruel and heartless!"

Yylfordt smiled, "Of course. I mean, I've tried to pull tricks on you too."

"Good…" Szayel reached up and wiped the tears away with the back of his hand, "'cause crying so much makes my glasses fog up. It's a pain, you know."

"Yeah, it is." Yylfordt laughed, letting him go after another quick hug. "And I am so glad that the human world was so good for you. I… I have to say that… even though you get mad at me and all, I still care 'bout you, little bro."

"…Thanks… It… it means so…." Szayel stepped back as he spoke, "It means so much. Hearing such kind words from you. I thought I'd come back here and find you… You…" Szayel grabbed the horn on Yylfordt's head and smashed his face into the ground in one graceful movement. "I hoped I'd find you dead! You little, *******! Why the hell are you not dead?!"

"Dead?!" Yyfordt slurred, many of the bones in his face broken by sheer impact. "I thought…"

Szayel laughed coldly as he pulled Yylfordt's right arm out of the socket while a foot pinned him to the floor. "I am the best damn actor there ever was you,****** *****! I never meant anything I said, you *****! I hate your ****** guts ******* and since you are not dead, I am going to ****** kill you!"

"What-"

Szayel ground the heel of his winter boot into his face before he could get another word in. "Now, how shall I kill you? Shall I crush you to death? Yes. I think I will… and your damn face will be first!"

"Szayel?" Nnoitra walked over to him, pleased that he had not gone nuts like he first thought. "What was that act all about?"

Szayel glanced up and smiled "Oh. Just this." He held up a wire cage necklace with a oddly shaped blue stone inside for Nnoitra to see. "It's the Hōgyoku. Give it to Tia will you?"

"Uh…" Nnoitra knew what the stone was, it turned him in to an Arrancar, but how Yylfordt got his hands on it, he had no clue. "Sure."

"Good." Szayel handed over the necklace, adding, "And tell Tia she has a fat ass IOU to pay!"

"Great." Nnoitra held the stone up to his eyes and grinned. "Will do." He walked down the long hallway to where Tia and the others were staring in shock. "Here." He handed the necklace to Tia who took it in her outstretched hand, "And Szayel says you owe him big time. And I mean, big time. There was the waterworks and a whole commotion. And if I find him short changed, I am gonna forget all of the lessons you taught me in the Human World."

"…Will do." Tia murmured, In a daze. She had the Hōgyoku…The little object that Soul Reapers and Hollows both wished to have… "One question before you go, Nnoitra."

He glanced down, "What?"

"How did Yylfordt find it?"

"No clue."

"And why did Aizen leave it behind? And how did Szayel…?"

"Still no clue." Nnoitra admitted. "But enjoy anyhow, Lady Tia."

She smiled and slipped the necklace over her neck. _He called me Lady Tia.. I suppose he does have some respect for me after all._


	56. Pwn'd

Aaroniero stared at the scene before him. Szayel was slamming foot his brother's head while Nnoitra watched; listening to the cracking sounds coming from the heap on the floor. "…Wow…" Aaroniero glanced at Grimmjow, pointing to Yylfordt, "He's been Pwn'd."

"Yeah…" Grimmjow made a face, glad that he wasn't related to Szayel in anyway. "He's been majorly Pwn'd."

"But on the other hand…" Ulquiorra noted, looking at his watch, "We have less than three hours to get from here to Aizen's little town battle. I suggest we get-"

"Master Nnoitra!" Telsa cried, running over to greet his superior with a bow. Only to get his sandy brown hair ruffled a second later.

"Nice to see you again." Nnoitra tore his attention away from Szayel long enough to grin at his Fraccion. "I would have got you a postcard, but I was broke."

"It's okay." Telsa bowed again before staring down at Yylfordt. "I saw the scene. I thought it was too good to be true at first and then, I thought it was actually real."

"Yeah." Nnoitra agreed, "I thought Szayel went nuts for a few minutes there."

"I'm glad to see his okay though." Telsa admitted, glancing at Szayel who by now had knocked Yylfordt out cold with his anger.

"Szayelaporro-sama, welcome back."

"Not so much of a welcome!" He grouched, kicking Yylfordt's ribcage that gave way with a loud crack, "But thank you, Telsa."

"I am sorry you are upset. If you had sent me a message, I would have asked Sun-sung to take care of Yylfordt for you."

"Mad?" Szayel asked, a grin spreading across his face. "Mad?! I am hardly mad, I am just pissed!"

"Yea, Telsa." Nnoitra said, "He's not really mad. If you know him like I do, you would know when he's honestly mad."

"Yes, Master Nnoitra. I assume you would. May I get you two something to eat? Hollows, I assume?"

"Thank you, Telsa." Szayel stepped away from his brother's crumpled up body, satisfied with his handy work. Purple looked very good on his brother's face, he thought. "Hollow would be a wonderful meal."

"We don't have time to eat." Ulquiorra flickered over to them, stopping Telsa from running to the kitchen. "We must be leaving for our appearance at Little Town Battle."

"Great.." Szayel reached up to fix his sandy, tangled and frazzled pink hair. "And I don't have time to shower, do I?"

"No." Ulquiorra said with a hint of sorrow in his voice, wanting to pause to get the sand out of his mouth. "You don't. And Lady Tia wishes to know if you have your speeches."

"Nope." Aaroniero grinned as he came over to join the speech party. He really loved Kainen Shiba's face. It looked so dashing and made him look attractive. "We are just gonna improvise."

"And…." Ulquiorra scrolled own the checklist in his head, "You have the device, Szayel?"

"No…. It's in my palace. I didn't know I would be using it for this, so it may be a few minutes to modify."

"Get to it, Szayel. And I expect to see you back in fifteen minutes. Nnoitra, go gather the Adjuchas and set them up around the perimeters.

And…" Ulquiorra glanced over his shoulder at Tia who nodded her head. "And then, come back here and I will open a portal for all of you. And

Grimmjow, Lady Tia and I will guard Los Noches with the Numeros."

"Why not let me stay here?" Nnoitra wondered as Grimmjow was a lower number than he was.

"Because, you can protect the others if something were to go wrong."

"True." Nnoitra grinned and disappeared from the throne room. Leaving Aaroniero waiting for orders. "Um…" He tapped Ulquiorra on the shoulder, "what should I do?"

He pointed at Yylfordt. "Take the trash out."

"Good idea!" Aaroniero scoop up Yylfordt and walked over to the doors of the kitchen and dropped him right inside. "There." He brushed his

hands off, "Done. Now what?"

"Why don't you-"

"I am back." Szayel announced, almost crashing into Aaroniero as he appeared with a small black device in his hand. "This should work. If not, we have Nnoitra, the famed Shovel Murder."

"Wonderful." Tia walked down the middle of the large hall to the throne that was towering over the scene and sat down in it. "And I here and forever claim the throne of Heuco Mundo."

"And the Adjuches have all run away." Nnoitra announced, appearing at the base of the throne. "I don't know where the hell they all ran off too, really, Lady Tia."

"…Damn." She sighed and sat back in the stone throne in thought. "What should we do now? How about the Gilligan?"

"…Gone." Nnoitra had no idea where they all went. "There are foot prints, but I have no idea where they went."

"…Aizen must have taken them with him…"

"Do you think we should rethink our plan?" Szayel wondered if it would even be safe for them to show up at all anymore. "We could just lock

Aizen out from here… and then, hope that he doesn't get in."

"We cannot do that." Tia stated, a scowl crossing her face. "We need to Soul Reapers to understand where we stand now. If we leave it be, then they will come barging in here and kill us all."

"You are correct." Szayel sighed, his hand resting on the hilt of his sword. It was so nice to have Fornicaras at his side once again. "And so, I suppose Fishtank and I will go ahead with the plan as usual."

"Yes. And say what ever you want." Tia knew that there was no way that they were going to stick with their written speeches. "Just don't make the Soul Reapers hate us, will you?"

"Nope!" Aaroniero grinned, loving the idea of what he got to do. "We promise."

"…Yeah…" Nnoitra began, seeing a flaw with this plan, "But can I still cuss people out?"

"Yes, yes.. Just do it with some heart will you?"

"Yeah."

"Wonderful." Tia said, "Now why don't you three get a move on so you will not be destroyed when Ulquiorra and I release our swords. I will see you back here in two hours and if I do not see you by then, I will valiantly avenge your deaths."

The three of them bowed and departed.

* * *

Author's note: I. Love. Fishtank. :)


	57. Where's the Nearst Pub Whippersnapper?

"Where are they?" Aizen asked Gin as he hovered in the air over Karakura Town. "The Espada were to be here a good five minutes ago!"

"At least the Soul Reapers are smart enough to wait." Gin noted, staring down at countless Soul Reapers and Visord who awaited battle. The

Thirteen Captains of Soul Society included.

Much to Tosen, Gin and Aizen's pleasure, there was quite a turn out to the battle for the whole universe.

"Yes! I am glad they know how to wait for battle!" Aizen cried, knowing that Soul Reapers seemed to have a code of honor as he had been a Soul Reaper for a good portion of his life. "But, what I want to know Gin… right now… Is…" He leaned in close to Gin's ear, "Were are my Espada?!"

"A…ow…" Gin rubbed his ear and sighed, "I have no idea, Lord Aizen. I assume they will be-"

"Allo…" A voice slurred as Starrk appeared in the sky with Lynette at his side. "Reporting for duty… hic-sir."

"Great." Aizen laughed, the world was in his grasp! No! The whole damn Universe! And soon, he would send it in to pure chaos! Oh, what music to his ears! "Starrk, where are the others?"

"Ah…" Sarrk paused to belch loudly, "I doono…"

"But you were with them, no?" Aizen wondered, not liking the way his first Espada treated him, "I sent all of you to the Human World together!"

"Yeah… Ya did… but… se-hic!" Starrk blinked and staggered in the sky a moment, "Tia… See.. It's a… long-hic! Story, see? It…"

Aizen rolled his eyes as Starrk belched again and Lynette followed with a longer and louder one; as if she were trying to win some kind of contest.

"Well…Zommari, do you anything useful to tell me about my Espadas whereabouts?" He asked the dark-skinned hollow who appeared the same time as Starrk and was looking around at all the people up until now.

"….Hagrid?"

Starrk and Lynette burst out laughing.

"Damn it!" Azien screamed at his drunk Espadas and turned to Baraggan who just appeared, "where are they?!"

"Why the hell would I know, whippersnapper?" The old man gave him the finger. "I'm looking for the nearest pub!"

That was the last straw! Aizen was not going to put up with these drunks any longer! He drew his sword and killed all of them. "Ah…" He sighed, putting his sword away a second later, "That is how you deal with pests."

"I think not…"

Everyone at the Battle of Little Town looked at the sky behind Aizen, where the voice originated.

"Yeah… You just killed your stupid Espadas." A long thin black line cut across the sky.

"And now, you are about to be pwn'd."

"Fishtank, why the hell do you keep using that phrase?!"

"Because! I like it!"

"Geez…change your face already. You can't show up to a Soul Reaper Battle looking like him…"

A loud groan was heard as a large hole opened in the sky and three figures stood within, wild grins on their faces. The man on the right had brilliant pink hair and tall white and red teardrop wings which swayed ever so sightly with laughter. The one in the center seemed to be a part of a monstrous creature with many tentacles which all moved on their own accord. His head was not that of a human, but that of a tall glass dome. Next to him, was a tall man with long black hair that fell below his shoulders. His single violet eye sparked with menace while the other covered a simple white eye patch. In his hands were six scythes that towered over his head and reached for the sky.

"Granz! Arruieire! Gilga!" Aizen gasped, not sure he he should be pleased to see them or not. "Where the hell have you been?! Get the hell down here and fight for what I created you for!"

Nnoitra looked at Aaroniero who looked at Szayel. None of them moved.

Aizen sucked in a deep breath. He was not going to wait any longer for his pawns. "Obey your leader this instance!"

"I think…" Szayel began, a mad laugh escaping his lips, "That we can collectively say,"

"**** You?" Nnoitra offered, making Szayel roll his eyes.

"And that you are about to be pwn'ed." Aaroniero high pitched voice added in a happy tone. "Screw you and your stupid Little Town Battle!"

Nnoitra and Szayel raised an eyebrow. Had they just heard Aaroniero's first nasty phrase?

"Exactly." Szayel continued, realizing that Aizen's fuse was getting shorter by the second and if they were going to explain their reasons, they were going to have to do it swiftly. "We are no longer your servants- as my stupid brother would say, 'Aizee-chan'. Sending us to The Human World was where you went wrong."

"Because we learned what was really important in life." Nnoitra added with a large grin. "And that's us. Our lives and our desires."

"So you can ***** off." Aaroniero said, making the other two Espadas nod approvingly. They taught him well. "And leave us alone. Or we'll kill you."

"True…and, you Soul Reapers," Szayel looked down at the group of Soul Reapers below who was all stunned by the turn of events. "Lady Tia Harribel, the Ruler of Heuco Mundo wants you to know that we don't hate you and want to work out some kinda truce. As we have no intention on joining the fight that is occurring today."

"And, we are not longer obeying the orders of Sosuske Aizen who is now and forever banished from Heuco Mundo."

"'Cause we can't kill you." Nnoitra added onto the end of Aaroniero's speech; a little sad about not being able to finish off Aizen himself. "But we'd love to sink our teeth in to your stupid corpse after all the Soul Reapers kill you."

"What?" Szayel laughed, brushing a piece of pink hair behind his ear, "I would not even want to eat trash like him! We can give Aizee-chan to Fishtank."

"Ew!" Aaroniero screamed, pretending to panic. "Hell no! I would never want to eat scum like-"

"I will not be mocked by you three!" Aizen screamed, finally snapping. He drew his sword and his blade was met with an invisible wall instead of Aaroniero's head a second later.

"...what?!" _Why won't my blade..._

"Heh…" Szayel held up his right hand that held a small black box. "Can't touch us."

Aizen screamed and continued to beat the wall that sealed off the gateway in the sky with his sword. "How the hell?! Granz! Let me in! I order you!"

"Not a chance." Szayel muttered, enjoying watching their dumb ass Ex-leader try to attack them with so much zeal. "I find your effort enjoyable to witness, however."

"How?!" Aizen roared, "Tell me how you did this! Now!"

"Nope." Szayel was not going to give away the secret to the wall he created. Not yet anyway. "And I think that, we should leave."

"Good idea." Nnoitra agreed, seeing small cracks begin to appear in the wall. "But will this thing-"

"Yes, it will hold up until the doorway closes." Szayel glanced down at the Soul Reapers who were not sure to . "We shall all speak later, thirteen captains. We must depart as our-"

The large doorway opposite of them opened in the sky, taking everyone's attention away from the main event.

Nnoitra's eye widened as the something emerged from the opening. "So that… that's where…."

"Yes. That is where I went. I though you would all be in need of some help." A sweet but strong voice echoed across the sky as Orihime Inoune rode out of the gateway on the back of a large hollow; followed by every Gilligan, Adjuches from the Forest of Menos. "And I was right." Orihime smiled and lifted her shield that was created by her Fairies in the air. "Charge!"

Countless hollows screamed in unison and rushed out of the opening towards their dreaded enemies.

Aizen, Gin and Tosen had almost no time to even draw their swords.

"Ouch…" Aaroniero watched Gin face get smooshed into the clear wall a second after they were over taken by Menos Grandes. "That has to hurt."

"I have to hand it to Inoune-san." Nnoitra admitted, not being able to see anything in the sea of black in front of them. "she's smarter than I...thought.

"But how did she know our plan?" Szayel muttered, confused by this small missing piece of the puzzle. "Anyhow, you two. Fishtank, Nnoitra, let us go before we become deaf or the wall breaks."

"Good idea." Nnoitra put his arm over Aaroniero's shoulder after he sealed up his sword with the same phrase. "We have to get home and make sure Aizen stays out."

"Yeah…" Aaroniero smiled and put his arm over Szayel's shoulder. "And you have to tell us how you made that wall."

"Sure I will." Szayel grinned and draped his arm over his friend's shoulder as well. "Shall we depart?"

Aaroniero nodded and glanced over his shoulder, snickering as he realized he would never see Sosuke Aizen's face again. "I think that this was a suitable ending…"

The three laughed and walked into the darkness between the worlds, the doorway in the sky closing behind them.

* * *

Author's Note: I didn't want it to drag out of epic proportions like the actual battle. (It went on for eeeevvver!) So, I did what I usually do, make it realistic.

And yes, I did reference that song by... I can't remember, 'can't touch this.'

I hope you enjoyed!


	58. An Ending

"And so, a new beginning is upon us." Tia announced from her throne a week later. "And we have a lot to do. However…" She glanced down at all of the Arrancars standing before her. Espadas, Pravion Espadas and Numeros. All equal in number for a sight instance in time. " let us adjust and protect our world from those who wish to destroy it. I am also pleased to say that Aizen, Gin and Tosen were consumed by Menos Grandes who have now been killed by Uyru Ishida, a Qunicy to destroy their souls. Soul Society has agreed to discuss a truce between our world and kind. Until the conference occurs, we are all on shaky ground. However, I can assure every single one of you, I will protect you at all cost. For without all of you, we would not have our freedom. To live our lives as we choose."

Loud applause greeted her ears as her eyes settle on Grimmjow's small figure, who smiled back.

Tia closed her eyes and once the ruckus died down, continued, "and from now until we discuss and create a truce with Soul Society, each and every Espada from 0-9 will guard Los Noches and will be assigned a Fraccion for assistance. And our world, Hueco Mundo has been sealed off completely by Szayelaporro and his way with science."

"You made a barrier like the one you used the other day, didn't you?" Aaroniero whispered to Szayel who was trying to listen to Tia's speech.

"Yes." He whispered back, "I did. I will tell you about it later."

"But I have to know."

"Fine… I used the Riatsu of the three of us for that small barrier and when woven correctly, it hardens into a near unbreakable wall. And no, Quincies cannot destroy it. I made sure of that by reversing the polarization of the Riatsu as like any type of energy, it has a north and south magnetic pole and if a Quincy tried to use the Riatsu, it would suffocate them by trapping them in a airless case. And the barrier I used after I shut closed all the portals in the sky leading out of here, works the same. Except it uses all of our Riatsus. From the smallest hollow to the most Powerful Vasto Lorde who is trying to give us a speech."

"Yeah…" Aaroneiro snickered, "Sorry."

"I'll explain it more later when I am not busy."

"Okie…" Aaroneiro sighed and went back to listening to Tia's Speech which was now over the new rules concerning the most important thing in his life:

Meal time.

"And we shall continue eating, however Ulquiorra will be in charge of rations for the time being. Simple hollows first followed by the Gilligan class an-"

Tia's thoughts were interrupted by a scream.

She glanced down and saw Aaroneiro panicking. "…Not you, Fishtank."

"Oh…." He composed himself and laughed, "Yeah… I guess I'm not Gilligan. I'm an Espada and…Szayel. You never told me how you knew Yylfordt was wearing the Hōgyoku."

"…Aaroniero…" Szayel sighed heavily, "The damn thing glows bright blue. How the hell was I to miss it? Even under the costume, it glowed like hell!"

"Oh. That make sense…Anyway, Lady Tia, continue."

"Wait one minute!" Nnoitra cried realizing what was sliding under his nose. "Rations?! Are you-?"

"Yes… Nnoitra. Rations. A set amount of nutrition consumption."

"But…we can't have that!" He wasn't going to skimp on dinner in the least. "I'm a warrior and I need a whole buncha food if I'm going to prote-"

"No." Tia glared down at him, "You, like the rest of us, will be subjected to rationed food."

"Excuse me..." Szayel raised his hand in the air. "I don't think that this rationting should apply to me either as the leading scientist, I am in need of normal amounts of food for my brain to function properly."

"Szayel, no exceptions." Tia's voice lingered dangerously angry. "And that is final."

"No way." Szayel began, shocking her for a moment with his sassy tone. "Girl, If you think that you override my research on the connection between food and more brain activity, you are wrong. I demand I exempt from this-"

"I said, no."

"Guys…" Aaroneiro sighed and placed his hands on his friends shoulders. "Calm down, we won't starve. Sure we may be unhappy, but if we don't ration food, we will starve."

"Thank you, Fishtank…very true." Tia paused to regain her calm before she continued. "And so, by the time we are forced to eat our fellow Gilligans, I am sure that I will have a solution. As for all of the souls wandering the Human World, I am willing to let them pass onto Soul Society for the time being as it would be unwise for us to slide out of isolation for a few souls."

A collective groan was heard from the crowd again.

"But, I am hoping that Soul Society and Heuco Mundo can make swift but effective treaties. And much to our luck, while the Numeros were busy cleaning, they happened across one of the impostors in the Janitor Closet. Care to introdunce yourself?"

"With pleasure." Yumichika walked up to the front of the crowd of Hollow, his beautiful hair back to it's normal black. "I am Yumichika Ayasegwa of the 11th Company. And my sword is still missing." He added, before anyone could boo his existence.

"And his sword will remain missing until we have secured a treaty." TIa assured her fellow Arrancars who all collectively relaxed. "And Yumichika here, shall be stay in the modest room in the Fraccion Quarters where I will have Ciricci keep an constant eye on him. And hopefully, all will be in order and he, like Orihime, may like it here."

"I highly doubt that…" Nnoitra whispered to Szayel who smiled.

"I agree… and speaking of Orihime…" Szayel leaned over to Ulquiorra who was standing behind him with Orihime. "How did you find her? When you ended up getting flattened by Fishtank?"

"I had not clue that she was there, honest." Came the reply, "I was just running from some Hollow trash and all of a sudden, I was hit and she came running. So, fate, I assume is the key to our reunion."

"How sweet." Grimmjow noted, not taking his eyes of of Tia. "I suppose you are glad she decided to stay with you."

"Very." Ulquiorra wrapped his arms around Orihime who smiled up at him.

"But there is one thing I don't get Szayel…" Aaroneiro hated to complain, but somehow this ending didn't seem to be working out in his favor. "How is it I haven't gotten a girl yet?!"

Szayel froze. Ow…the Fishtank could scream. "Ah… Because… This isn't the end."

"But, this is the last chapter!"

"It is…" Szayel took a deep breath and continued after brushing his fingers through his hair in frustration. "Of this book. But we have another one in the works."

"We do?!" Aaroniero gasped. Maybe he would get a girl by the end of the next story. A girl who would appreciate him and they could go on dates and smooch and smooch. "What is it called?! It has to have a title!"

"…I think it is The New Order of Espada."

"Great! But what do you mean by New Order?"

"We get new numbers, that's what." Nnoitra told him with a large grin. "With Starrk, Lynette, Baraggan and Zommari dead, we all get an promotion."

"And leaves four spots open to be filled." Grimmjow added, wondering who they would find to fill them. "And then we will-Not you, Yylfordt."

Yylfordt frowned under his full body bandages from where he was sitting in a wheelchair a few feet away with Ciricci attending to his every need.

"But wait!" Aaroniero cried, realizing something. "We only have three openings!"

"What do you mean?" Szayel was sure they had four openings in the Ranks of the Espada. "I swear we-"

"We left Yammy in the Human world!"

"What?!" The four of them screamed in his ears. "How the hell did we do that?!"

"He went to Hollywood to become an actor! And…And then, we didn't go to pick him up…."

Grimmjow, Ulquiorra, Nnoitra and Szayel all shared a long look.

"What should we do?" Grimmjow whispered, not wanting to be overheard by the other Arrancar around him.

"No clue." Nnoitra did not want to have to go all the way back to the Human World to pick up the group idiot. "We are better off without him… and if we leave him…"

"Then Tia can take '0'." Szayel grinned, doing the math. "If we leave him down there, no one will ever know…"

"But what if he comes back?" Aaroniero hoped he never did, but Yammy was unpredictable. "And kills us all?"

"That won't happen." Nnoitra assured him, "If it does, we'll take him all a once."

"Cool…. Damn cool."

"And so," Szayel laughed a little as he did a few more calculations. "Tia will take the number '0' and then, Ulquiorra will be '1' and you Nnoitra will be '2' and Grimmjow, '3' I… Oh, I will be '4' and Fishtank, that leaves you '5'."

"Five?!" Aaroneiro's head almost burst. "Five?! I will be the Fifth Espada?!"

"Yeah!" Szayel loved how things worked out in the end. "And hey, I think that a '4' would look very dashing on my thigh, no?"

"Oh." Grimmjow raised an eyebrow. "That's where it is. Your tattoo I mean."

"Yes…? Did you think it was on my butt or something?"

"…I guess?"

Szayel rolled his eyes."You're a perv. And you know it."

"A little…" Grimmjow blushed, not liking to admit it. "But aren't we all a little?"

The group of New Numbered Espada looked at one another and a collective 'yes' was to be heard a moment later. (Ulquiorra included.)

"So…" Tia flickered over to them after finishing her speech that left the room cheering. "What are you five talking about?"

"Oh, nothing." Grimmjow was not going to rehash the whole conversation for her. "We were just talking of the new numbers we will get when this is all done."

Tia smiled under her white mask, "It is done…" She wrapped her arm around Grimmjow's waist, "We must look towards the future and never once, look behind us."

_The End of Espadas Undercover_

_6/23/13 to 10/20/13_

_To be continued…_  
_And soon. (Like two days from now.)_

Author's note: Hello all my readers, I would like to thank all of you for following along on this wondrous adventure. I promise The New Order of Espada will be up soon. As in a week or two. I have to have a few scenes written before I know where it is going. And I have a whole chapter finished that I will post ASAP. :)

P.s. I am going back through and cleaning up a bit of spelling and locations errors come December 13th 2013. So, some chapters may be down for a little bit. I will be starting with Chapter 1.


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